Glass Houses
by JennMel
Summary: In an alternate universe where all humans are empaths, Kurt Hummel is the odd one out. Registering at a mere 0.5 on the Hawkins Scale of Empathic Sensitivity, Kurt has resigned himself to a lonely life, empty of touch or true love. That is, until the mysterious Blaine Anderson transfers to McKinley, and everything Kurt thought he knew was changed. AU!Klaine
1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes:** So this fic is my baby, and has been on my mind so so long now! Mostly I'm just very excited to attempt a full AU multichaptered Klaine fic! Rating is sticking with PG13 for the foreseeable future.

**Glass Houses**

Chapter One

"So, are you going to try for that solo today?" Mercedes asked, leaning against the locker bank while her best friend Kurt shuffled through his books.

Kurt sighed bitterly, "What's the point? We all know Mr Schue will give it to Rachel. '_You can just _feel _how much she lives in the song, Kurt! Surely you see why we need that kind of singing for Regionals!_'"Kurt mimicked the enthusiasm of their glee club teacher bitterly, his eyes icily cold. He loved Rachel, he really did, but he also loved singing and what was worse was that he _knew_ he was good. Really, really good. And to have something as uncontrollable as his biological make-up prevent him from having his chance…

Well, he was just sick of it all.

"Sometime I wonder why I even bother…" Kurt murmured, half to himself, "I mean, we both know that the only reason they keep me now that we're up to the required numbers is because my voice makes for good backing. They'll never let someone like _me_ take the spotlight."

Mercedes sighed, her eyes soft but not quite able to understand. After all, she would never have the same problem. None of the glee club kids would. Kurt was alone. One in a million, and not in a good way.

Silence reigned between them, during which time Mercedes enjoyed the protection of standing next to her best friend. Slushie-bearing jocks, sharp-tongued cheerleaders, all the kinds of people who normally goaded and bullied the glee club on a regular basis gave them a wide berth. It was as if there was an invisible ring around Kurt, and no one wanted to step over its boundaries. It had always been like this; had been ever since they were kids. On the one hand, it afforded Kurt a level of protection that none of the others enjoyed. Without even trying, he conjured a degree of fear in others that could not be quashed, however much some of the other students might think of themselves.

On the other hand… it was horrible. Those who were able to overcome their fear of Kurt soon fell back on pity. It was unclear which reaction he hated more. Even Mercedes sometimes felt a bit… off around her best friend. It was almost impossible not to. And, like everyone else, she refrained from ever touching him. He understood why she couldn't, why none of his friends could face the idea of touching his skin, but still…

Aside from fleeting glances from the braver of souls, Kurt only ever enjoyed regular contact from his dad, who made a point to hug him at least twice a day. And he remembered his mom's hugs too, soft and warm, _loving_. He missed those hugs, and their absence only made him appreciate the ones from his dad all the more. More recently, his new step-mom Carole had been clearly trying to make an effort. Not hugs, but little touches here and there that made all the difference.

Nevertheless, it had reached the point where Kurt had realistically submitted himself to a rather lonely future, because what kind of boy would want to be with a freak like him? Lack of touch from friends he could accept, it had even become the norm for him, but there was still that nagging hot _want_ for there to be someone out there for Kurt, someone who wouldn't care…

It wasn't unheard of, for people like him to find someone who would love them, but add in the fact he was gay… he had just given up… It was depressing, but there you go. Kurt was a rarity, a minority in every aspect of his life. Registering at a mere 0.5 on the Hawkins Scale of Empathic Sensitivity, Kurt could neither sense the emotions of other people, nor have his emotions felt by others. He was like a black hole, a horrible blank space on the scope of every other person's sense of reality.

But that didn't mean he was emotionless! It didn't mean he was incapable of feeling, or incapable of feeling empathy for the plights of others! He just… he just had to do it the hard way. If anything, he often thought that he felt more emotion than anybody else, all bottled up with nobody to share it with…

Lonely. Unique. Removed. Special.

You could dress it up however starkly or prettily as you liked, the fact still remained that Kurt was not normal, and he was reminded of it every day.

"Wow, check out the new kid." Mercedes hummed appreciatively, nodding in a direction behind Kurt and pulling their conversation away from Kurt's despondency.

He turned, and Mercedes was definitely not wrong. The newcomer was _gorgeous_. The best way to describe his overall impression was neat. He was small, but in a way that worked, his preppy-style clothes flattering on his compact frame, and his black hair gelled down within an inch of its life. His tan-coloured skin was flawless, a fact Kurt could readily appreciate, and as he walked closer to them, Kurt couldn't help his heart was swooping slightly at the adorable little frown that crinkled the boy's brow as he scanned for locker numbers and-

Yep. Mercedes was way too in tune with what kind of boys Kurt was attracted to.

But then, something rather unprecedented happened. Something that made many students surreptitiously stop and pretend they weren't watching, something that made Mercedes' eyes widen and Kurt just… Well to be frank he just gaped openly in such a way that made him cringe when he replayed it back later in his head.

The boy walked right up to them, offered a shy smile, and turned to Kurt as if he was as normal as every other student in the school, "Umm, hi. Do you… could I, I mean, do you mind if I could just get to my locker? I think it's this one next to yours if I've counted right…" The boy seemed nervous, but not repulsed or even curious as he stared at Kurt for a response, his expressive honey-coloured eyes open and searching.

Kurt blinked, once, twice, and then finally kicked himself into action, slamming the door of his locker with more force than he meant to, shaking his head slightly, "Right, sorry, sorry, sure, here you go."

The shorter boy mumbled a thanks with a half smile, his head ducking to his bag as he fumbled for books, his hands carefully remaining stuffed up his strangely too-long sleeves. Kurt exchanged a pleading look with Mercedes, who just rolled her eyes at him and jerked her head pointedly in the newcomer's direction.

Kurt still had no idea what possessed him, but suddenly he was opening his mouth and – "My name's Kurt, and this is Mercedes – we're both juniors here. Is this your first day?"

The boy jerked his head up, startled, eyes wide. For a moment, Kurt was certain that the boy was going to turn tail and run, but then, "I'm Blaine, sophomore. And yeah… I'm a little lost. It took me twenty minutes just to find my locker..." A shy, self-deprecating grin warmed the boy's – Blaine's – face for a fleeting moment, but then it was gone again, his eyes flicking downwards.

"Oh, did your parents move to Lima?" Mercedes piped up, stepping around Kurt. It was a logical question. McKinley wasn't really a school to get mid-semester transfers, especially in March.

Blaine nodded, and even Kurt could tell that he was deeply uncomfortable with the question. Mercedes' sudden frown only served to prove his observation. Any further line of questioning was cut off by the bell, and before Kurt could say another word, the new boy had already scurried away.

Mercedes shook her head, "Damn… hot, shy, and mysterious. I bet he's gay too!"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Oh shut up." They headed to World History together, and Kurt really didn't intend to keep thinking about the encounter…

Except…

He just _couldn't stop. _And it wasn't just his inability to get the mysterious, quiet boy off his mind either. Suddenly, he was looking for him _everywhere. _By the end of Blaine's first week, Kurt had already observed and noted a few choice pieces of information. The most noticeable was how elusive Blaine was, while the second was how little Kurt had seen the boy smile. This especially just seemed _wrong_ to Kurt, who was having serious trouble putting that beautiful tiny smile Blaine had offered him on the day they had met out of his head.

Blaine had also managed to garner himself a bit of reputation, as attractive, quiet new kids are wont to do. Especially ones who succeed in maintaining an air of mysteriousness in a world full of empaths. According to Tina, his emotions were nearly impossible to read, because they just seemed to be a reflection of the person next to him. The McKinley rumour mill was rife with theories, most of which Kurt discounted out of hand, but he did now know that Blaine was dropped off and picked up every day by a _seriously _hot older man – Tina had been practically salivating when she had recounted the tale.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of Blaine – although to be honest, as Mercedes enjoyed pointing out, Kurt was hard pressed to find an aspect of Blaine he _didn't_ find interesting – was how he started to appear at glee rehearsals. Not the ones in the choir room, but when they practiced in the auditorium, Blaine was nearly always there sitting near the back, watching them, often doing homework at the same time. More than once Rachel had tried approaching him, but each time he had run away before she could get close.

And so, for over a week, Kurt was contented to enjoy the mystery that was Blaine Anderson – he had discovered the boy's surname from Sam, who shared some of his classes. Until the Wednesday that changed everything.

Kurt had, overall, had a pretty crappy day. Almost everything that could go wrong, did go wrong, and to round it all off, his genius of a step-brother had forgotten they had carpooled that morning, and driven away while Kurt was finishing up in the library.

He turned the corner into the corridor that would take him to his locker, planning on dropping off a few things so he wouldn't have to carry them all the way home. He was just in time to see Rick, one of the idiot puckheads, shove Blaine into the lockers, books scattering everywhere as the smaller boy fell to the floor.

Kurt was incensed, "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Immediately, Rick's grin dropped and he raised his hands in a fake casualness, "Nothing to bother yourself with, Hummel. Anderson here just tripped." He took a strategic step backwards as Kurt stormed up to them. Not because Kurt could inflict any serious damage on the much larger boy, but because the bully was terrified of the idea of touching Kurt's skin, of feeling the emptiness that was rumoured to cling to his body, and becoming infected by it.

Ridiculous, of course. Sensitives were born, not created, and while many people's level of sensitivity was known to decrease into adulthood – usually dropping from a 3 to a 2 on the Hawkins Scale – the idea that Kurt could infect anybody was absurd. Nevertheless, this ignorance had at times served Kurt well, and this was definitely one of those times. Kurt glared, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

Rick huffed, like an insulted rhino, "Whatever." He scowled, before directing a smirk down towards Blaine, who flinched. "Catch you later Anderson!"

As soon as he was gone, Blaine started moving. He was noticeable shaking, his hands slipping from their usual safety of his long sleeves to frantically try and gather what he had dropped. Kurt crouched, "Hey, Blaine, it's alright, he's gone. Are you okay?"

Blaine didn't reply, hands fumbling. Kurt sighed, and attempted to help instead. He wasn't even sure if Blaine registered that he was there, he seemed so panicky. That happened sometimes – people thought they were alone and got the shock of their lives when they turned to find Kurt barely a foot from them, as impossible to sense as ever.

Then it happened.

Their hands brushed as both went to pick up the same scattered sheaf of paper, skin gently connecting for but a brief second. Kurt jerked back immediately as if he had been burned, an apology ready on his lips. It made no difference to him, but from the varied reactions he had received over the years, he knew that his touch wasn't pleasant to those with higher levels of empathic sensitivity.

His apology died on his lips when his eyes met Blaine's.

Blaine had stopped, completely, his hand still hovering over the papers. His eyes were wide, mouth hanging slightly open as he stared at Kurt with unbridled shock and… wonder? Kurt was frozen, not having encountered this reaction before and really not knowing what to do. And then he watched as Blaine began to move, raising his hand ever so slowly, tentatively, until their fingertips brushed.

Kurt's breath stuttered when Blaine didn't immediately pull away. Instead he watched in fascination as Blaine's fingers because to explore with a feather light touch, taking note of each finger, over his knuckles, his palm, along the back of his hand…

Kurt swallowed, unsure, "Are… are you okay?"

With his words, Blaine seemed to snap back to reality, and the curious fingertips disappeared in an instant. Kurt found himself immediately missing their warmth, "S-sorry…" Blaine's face was flushed bright red, as if he had only just realised what he had been doing. He scrambled about, gathering the last of his possessions, stuffing them without care into his bag and locker as he stood.

Kurt rose with him, limbs feeling oddly awkward and useless, "I… I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

Blaine nodded jerkily, "Right, tomorrow, yeah. I… Thanks, Kurt. For stopping that guy."

Kurt smiled, "Don't worry about-"

"Can I hug you?" Blaine blurted out suddenly, his words spilling out almost too fast to understand as he cut across Kurt's reply. His fingers entwined worriedly in front of him, and, if possible, his face flushed to an even darker shade of red.

Kurt was almost certain he was in shock. He was sure his eyes were as wide as they could physically go, and he knew he was gaping as he stumbled for words, "I… you… well, I guess, if you want to- oof!"

As soon as Kurt's consent had passed his lips, he found himself with an armful of Blaine. The hug was only fleeting, but it was tight and warm, and when Blaine stepped back, beet-red, he had the biggest, most stunning smile on his face that made the shock all worth it, "Thank you again, Kurt… See you tomorrow."

Kurt just nodded dumbly as Blaine dashed off down the corridor.

What the _hell_ had just happened?

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Author Notes: Thank you all so much for the positive response! Bit shorter this time, but I'm still setting the scene :) Enjoy!

Chapter Two

When Kurt walked to his locker the next morning, yawning his head off after a sleepless night going over and over in his head the events of the previous afternoon, he was surprised to see the focal point of his whirling thoughts already standing waiting for him. He smiled tentatively, warily scanning Blaine's posture and body language for clues. He hadn't wished so hard to be able to sense other people's emotions in years…

Blaine stood straight when he saw Kurt, his expression nervous as he clutched in his hands two takeaway cups of coffee from the Lima Bean. He held one out to Kurt, and immediately started babbling so fast that Kurt had to concentrate to keep up. "Hi! Morning, hi. So, I didn't know your coffee order but I asked Cooper and he reckoned stick simple so I let him pick so I'm sorry if it's not what you like and god, you probably don't even like coffee do you? I'm such an idiot! But I don't have your number or anything so I couldn't ask you and you can just throw it away or whatever and I'm being creepy now aren't I and you probably want to ask for a locker transfer or something and I can do that if you want, but I don't know if they even let you do that and-"

"Blaine stop!" Kurt laughed, raising his voice to try and stem the stream of words. He laughed as Blaine's mouth immediately snapped shut, that beautiful blush staining his cheeks. Kurt smiled kindly, taking the offered cup, carefully avoiding brushing their fingers just in case the events of yesterday were a mistaken fluke. "For the record, I love coffee, and my order is a non-fat mocha. But may I enquire as to the occasion?"

Blaine worried his lips between his teeth, fidgeting with his own cup, "I wanted to apologise for yesterday, how I behaved…" Here we go, Kurt thought. A parting cup of coffee and a 'sorry I didn't realise you were so freaky please never touch me again'. But then Blaine continued, "It's just… I'm kinda an impulsive person and sometimes when that's combined with my really misguided ideas I end up over-stepping and freaking people out… and I don't want to freak you out because I've been trying to work out how to talk to you since I got here and persuade you that I'm not weird…"

Kurt stared at him, disbelieving. If it was anyone else, he would suspect them of some sort of cruel joke, but instinct told him that just wasn't Blaine's style, "You want to persuade _me _that _you're_ not weird?" Kurt asked incredulously.

"Well… yeah…"

For a moment, Kurt was prepared to go on the defensive, to snipe about how everyone else acted around him and why would Blaine want to be near him let alone _touch_ him? But the gorgeously tentative, hopeful smile on the other boy's face stopped him short, and he found himself smiling shyly in return, "Coffee is always appreciated, but you didn't need to apologise. I… I like hugs. And… and if you want to get to know each other, I think I'd really like that too."

Blaine's face split into a blinding smile, and Kurt could never regret his words. He took a sip of his still-warm coffee, and nearly choked. Blaine looked startled, "Are you okay?"

"Oh my _god_ Blaine, I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything but how much sugar did you put in this?!" Kurt spluttered.

Blaine frowned, popping off the lid of his own cup before taking a cautious sip from the rim. He made a face, "I'm so sorry! Coop must've mixed up the cups when he handed them to me. This one's yours."

They switched, and Kurt sipped his new one. So much better. He eyed Blaine in amusement as the other boy somehow managed to take a sizable gulp of the sugar-laden coffee, "How can you _drink_ that? I shudder to think the combined caffeine and sugar high you'll get off that later."

Blaine shrugged, "You get used to it. I don't usually make mine quite this sweet, but if Cooper buys me one he always adds as much sugar as he can get his hands on." Blaine smiled with a fond yet rather long-suffering smile, and Kurt had to ask.

"So, Cooper is..?"

"My big brother. He normally lives in New York, but he's in between plays and so's been staying with us for a while. He's a little… overprotective. He's insisted on driving me to and from school since I started here, hence him being involved in the coffee stop." Blaine's put-upon tone was completely counteracted by the way he smiled when talking about his brother. He clearly secretly enjoyed Cooper's company. At least that explained the man Tina had been drooling over.

They started walking slowly in the direction of their different homerooms before the first bell, "My step-brother's an idiot at the best of times, but I'm really starting to enjoy having him around now they've moved in. You probably saw him when you were spying on our glee rehearsals. Finn – huge guy, can't dance to save his life?"

Blaine grinned, "Yeah, I remember him. And I don't spy! I just sort of… sit in and watch at the back… I like the singing. You've got an amazing voice."

"Yeah, well we do try." Kurt shrugged, "We're going to Regionals in a couple of weeks!"

Blaine grinned. "I'm not contesting that as a group you sound amazing, but I said _you've_ got an amazing voice!" He seemed to realise how forward he had just sounded, and suddenly babbly, shy Blaine was back, "Sorry. I'm starting to really seem like a stalker, aren't I?"

Kurt laughed, blushing, "I really don't mind. And… thank you. No one's said I sound amazing before."

"Well you do." Blaine said decisively, as if that was the end of the matter.

Kurt took a sip of his coffee, not quite knowing how to handle a beautiful boy walking an inch from his elbow and freely offering him compliments. He did know that he loved the warm feeling coiling in his stomach, and the electric prickling over his skin. He was already falling hard. "This is me." Kurt stopped at the entrance to a classroom. Blaine seemed to fidget, as if unsure what to do, so Kurt once again took a chance, "You want to meet up for lunch?"

Blaine stuttered, worrying his lip between his teeth, "Umm… I don't really like the cafeteria…" He looked embarrassed for some reason. Personally, Kurt could completely understand a person having an aversion to that disgusting zoo of a room.

"That's okay. A few of my glee friends said they were going to hang out in one of the dance rooms for lunch, if you want to join?"

Blaine grinned, clearly relieved, "That'd be great!" He checked his watch. The first bell was sure to ring soon, and he still had to find his way to his own registration, "I should go. See you at lunch then?"

"Definitely. Oh, wait!" Blaine spun on his heel looking back at Kurt expectantly, "Give me your phone?" Obediently, Blaine handed his phone over, and Kurt quickly entered his number before giving it back, "Now you can text me all you like."

Blaine grinned, quickly firing off a simple smiley face to Kurt's number, "And so can you."

It wasn't until Kurt slumped down at his desk in between an infuriatingly grinning Mercedes and Rachel that he experienced a form of delayed shock. He had just given another boy his number, as casual and confident as anything. A boy who had bought him coffee. Who was drop-dead gorgeous and mysterious and shy and cute and just… Who had _hugged him._ Oh. My. God.

Rachel made an odd sniffing, squealing noise that was hard to define as acting or just Rachel being Rachel, "Kurt Hummel, I am so proud of you right now!"

"Damn. You have got to get on that Kurt! You two would make _such _a hot couple!" Mercedes smirked. "You don't need to be Sensitive to see that he is _so_ into you!"

Kurt just offered them a shocked silent smile.

Oh. My. God.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

There was something entirely surreal about his growing friendship with Blaine. It was so wonderfully new and exciting and _perfect_ that Kurt still half expected to wake up from his dream. Blaine was… Blaine was sunshine. He was smiles and laughs and small little touches and tight warm hugs reserved _just_ for Kurt. Once Kurt had managed to break past Blaine's shyness, he had discovered an incredible boy who was rapidly becoming his best friend.

Of course, that still didn't remove the mystery. Blaine might be all smiles and hugs for Kurt, but he was painfully shy and reserved around all the other students. Even Kurt's Glee friends. Yes, Kurt would admit they could be overwhelming at the best of times, but he had tried properly introducing them to Blaine in small doses. It had helped a little, and Blaine was starting to join in with their conversations and jokes during lunch, and in classes that he shared with the others. Still, when Kurt had mentioned it to Mercedes, she had just shrugged it off. Blaine was the new kid after all, of course he was going to be shy, and his empathic read seemed to be pretty content whenever she was near him so stop fussing already and start flirting.

Kurt hated it when people did that to him. When they brushed off his concerns about the people he cared about because he was _imagining it_. Because of _course_ you don't really understand sweetheart, you're not Sensitive.

So what? He was just supposed to switch off, turn into a brick wall? Not give a damn about anyone? Not even try to wade through the muddy waters of human emotions because his genetics didn't make him a freaking radio transmitter and receiver?

An arm slotted into the crook of Kurt's elbow, and he jumped slightly as Blaine materialised next to him on the piano bench, "Hey. Whatcha guys rehearsing?"

Blaine had finally started coming to lunchtime glee practice in the choir room. He still refused to join, but Rachel had decided she didn't mind seeing as a new member so close to Regionals would mess up the dynamics. She would work on him to join once they got through to Nationals.

"We're not." Kurt smirked wryly. "We're waiting for Santana and Rachel to stop pretending to rehearse and just kill each other."

"Oh." Blaine tilted his head slightly to the side, amber eyes flicking over the rapidly deteriorating scene before them. "Keeping a safe distance then?"

"What do you take me for?" Kurt grinned, while at the same time trying to quell his dancing insides as he tried to ignore Blaine's casually hooked arm. He was becoming keenly aware that having a friendship with Blaine was a very tactile affair. The boy seemed to crave touch; bumping shoulders, casual grazes of fingers, and of course, hugs. For someone so used to having a very strict bubble of personal space, Kurt was finding the whole experience equal parts disturbing and incredibly _wonderful_.

But there was still one, _massive_ problem. Kurt had no idea if Blaine was gay. He was almost certain that he was… Kurt didn't think his gaydar was too bad, but then how else did you explain his previous crushes on Sam or (horror) Finn? He just… he was absolutely _terrified _of ruining his friendship with Blaine. Because to ask 'hey, so, are you gay?' at this point would be equal to putting up a neon sign above his head saying I LIKE YOU.

He couldn't even ask his friends for clues. Most of them were only able to properly read emotions – as opposed to simply sensing passing feelings being opening projected – through active touch. Those who could read without touch, like Tina and Sam, still needed the emotions to be strong and active at the time. From what Kurt learned in HEE (Health and Empathic Education, a class Kurt still had to attend, much to his disgust), sensing emotions wasn't a simple case of 'happy', 'sad', 'angry'. There were levels, degrees and nuances and strengths and to be honest, Kurt just usually switched off when it got to that part of the class because he was already too confused. Nevertheless, it meant that in essence, the best person to tell if Blaine liked him was Kurt himself, and that wasn't happening any time soon.

"So what're you doing after school?" Blaine asked, his voice just a tad too casual.

Kurt shrugged, "It's Thursday, so like every other day of this damned week, I'm going to try and do my homework without throttling Finn and Rachel." He really loved the concept of having two new people join his family, and Carole made his dad so happy, but _god_ he needed space sometimes. Finn's newly rekindling romance with Rachel meant that she was round their house _all the time_! To be honest, it was driving Kurt up the wall, a fact he had been rather vocal about all week to Blaine.

"That's what I thought." Blaine nodded, before falling silent again, hand twitching slightly where it rested against Kurt's arm.

Kurt waited for Blaine to continue, but when that looked like a lost cause, he prompted, "Any reason you ask?"

"I… Do you… I mean, you don't have to, if you don't want to…" Blaine was stumbling over his words again, as he often did when he seemed to think that his friendship with Kurt was an imposition on the older boy rather than a joy, "You could come round mine after school, if you like? My parents are working, so it'd just be us and Cooper, and he won't bug us too much if I ask him not to. I mean, it'd be quiet if you wanted to do homework…"

Kurt's grin spread wide across his face, "Or we could watch trash tv, listen to music, hang out and have completely non-school-related fun?"

Blaine's grin matched his own, "Precisely!"

* * *

Kurt allowed himself to be led across the parking lot to where Blaine's ride was waiting, a tall man leaning casually against the side of the car. His stomach was in knots. Not only was he going round Blaine's house for the first time, he was also going to have to spend an entire car journey with his – _drop dead gorgeous – _older brother. Something was going to go horribly wrong.

It was probably going to start from the moment Cooper realised he couldn't sense anything from Kurt.

Blaine seemed oblivious to Kurt's inner turmoil. He bounded up to his brother, who grinned widely and raised one arm to give Blaine a brief but tight hug; clearly Blaine's love of touch was a family trait. "Hey Coop!"

"How's it going, squirt?" Blaine made a face at Cooper's nickname for him. From the older man's smirk, Kurt was almost certain that he had said it to embarrass Blaine in front of a new friend. "And you must be Kurt, right? Blaine doesn't shut up about you."

"_Cooper!_" Blaine yelped.

Kurt couldn't help but grin. He wondered if he and Finn would ever reach that level of easy teasing. "The one and only Kurt Hummel. That's me."

Kurt's false confidence fell flat on its face when Cooper offered him his hand to shake, "Cooper Anderson, actor, New Yorker, best looking guy to come out of Ohio bar none, and big brother to this pain in the ass."

Kurt faltered, not sure what to do. The result was him half offering his hand in return, leaving it hovering awkwardly in midair between them. Cooper's blue eyes seemed to fix on him for a second, all lightness gone, as if he was assessing Kurt. But his grin never faltered, and he moved his hand the last few inches to grasp Kurt's firmly. If the touch of Kurt's skin unsettled or disturbed him, he made no indication. What was it with these Andersons?

"Alright kids, let's get this show on the road!"

Blaine rolled his eyes, "He thinks he's hilarious."

Cooper, it turned out, _was _hilarious – although often in an unintentional way. He was considerably older than Blaine, already with his own life, fulfilling his own dreams. Still, Kurt noticed how he skirted the reasons behind why he was back in Ohio when his career was just taking off.

Any further thoughts on that subject, however, were completely cut off when he saw the Anderson residence. It was… well Kurt could now state with absolutely certainty that Blaine and Cooper's parents had money, put it that way.

"Alright, so I'll be in Dad's study if you need anything. Blaine, feed your guest snacks like a good host, and bring me some too or I'll have to emerge to get them myself, and that is way too much effort." Copper reeled off as he let them in the house, dumping his keys on the side, "Hey, you did check Kurt wasn't allergic to dogfood, right?"

Kurt blinked. Was that a joke? Blaine wasn't laughing; an expression that was an odd mix of exasperation and concern warred on his face. The exasperation was probably directed at his brother. "Ah, no, I forgot… "

Kurt just stared at the pair of them, waiting for the other shoe to drop. "I'm sorry I think I'm missing something…"

Before either brother could speak, a massive ball of silver-grey fluff bounded gracefully down the stairs, only to be scooped up by Blaine on the bottom step. In his arms was a gorgeous cat, tail flicking slightly as it regarded the stranger with piercing blue eyes. "Kurt, this is Molly, my cat-"

"Also known as dogfood, demon spawn from hell." Cooper interjected.

Blaine sighed, "You know if you didn't call her that, maybe she'd be less grouchy. You're not allergic, are you? I'm sorry I didn't ask. She's kinda got a lot of fur so the house is usually covered…"

Kurt smiled, "No I'm not. She's beautiful."

"Wait until she sheds on your favourite pair of pants." Cooper muttered. Blaine scowled, and in a rather unnerving mirror of her owner, Molly's ears flattened as she hissed loudly at the older Anderson. There was something about the cat that Kurt found rather disconcerting in the way she settled herself in Blaine's arms. Cooper rolled his eyes. "Well I know when I'm not wanted. I'll just leave you two alone to watch tv or gossip about hot boys or whatever… what?"

Blaine's face was bright red, half buried in Molly's fur, "Oh my god Cooper please leave."

Cooper frowned, and then his eyes flicked between the two of them as realisation dawned. For a fleeting moment, Kurt thought he might actually be embarrassed, but the man just cracked a smile, turning heel and disappearing with a smug, "Have fun, baby bro!"

Kurt's face was equally red, but his insides were squirming happily, "So… umm…"

Blaine just shook his head in mortified wonderment, "I can't believe my brother just casually outted me like that. I mean, not that I was in the closet in the first place but it's not really something you just drop into conversation you know? And I didn't want to assume you…"

Kurt smiled then, shyly but oh so happily. "Uh, yeah. Gay. Did he think we..?"

"Probably." Awkward silence prevailed, until, "So did you want to go up to my room? Oh! Oh my god I did not mean that to come out like that!"

It broke the strange tension, and Kurt was laughing. His laugh startled Molly, who had clearly decided she had been in Blaine's arms for long enough, and wriggled to the floor. "Mr Anderson, I don't think that's appropriate."

Blaine groaned, and started leading his way up the stairs, "He does it on purpose, I swear."

Kurt followed Blaine, thinking. "It's good though, right? That he's so accepting of you being gay that he'll come out with stuff like that."

They reached the top of the stairs, and Blaine turned, his eyes searching, "Is your family…?"

"Oh, no! My dad's… well he's been amazing. I was terrified of telling him, but when I did, he made it so easy. Said he'd always known. And Finn's come such a long way since our parents started dating that he's like a different person. But I know how lucky I am… especially in Ohio. You hear stories…"

As they entered Blaine's bedroom, Kurt watched as the other boy's mouth twisted, his voice bitter. "Yeah. Acceptance for all. Open you heart and your senses to equality and love… As if putting enough PSAs out there will make the problems go away. People are good at living a lie." Blaine flopped down on the bed, dislodging Molly from her precarious position in the last patch of sun right at the edge of the bedspread. She meowed, and promptly hopped up to sit on Blaine's stomach.

Kurt sat down next to Blaine on the bed, pulling his legs up, "How was it for you?"

"With my family?" Blaine asked. Kurt wondered at the clarification, but just nodded. Blaine smiled softly, but there was a tinge of sadness, "I told Cooper first. He was amazing, he even promised to help me tell Mom and Dad when I was ready. You've met him now – he has no internal filter, and sometimes that can be a pain, but when I was just figuring things out, it was so great. _He _was great. When I finally worked up the courage to tell my parents, I was so much more certain in myself. Mom… I think she was worried more than anything, and Dad was just quiet for a while. But then they both hugged me, and that was kind of the end of it, and I know they support me. I guess… I guess me being gay wasn't the biggest deal it could've been..."

As Blaine stared at the ceiling, absently scratching Molly's ears, Kurt felt that there was something more to his story that Blaine wasn't sharing. Sometimes Kurt thought that his best friend was more of mystery now that he knew him than before when he was just the cute new kid with the locker next to his.

But then Blaine grinned, all smiles and sunshine, and the moment to ask was gone.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Come on, please Blaine? It'll be brilliant and you're practically our official mascot now so Mr Schue would totally let you be in the green room with us rather than the audience and there's space on the bus! _Please?_" Kurt bounced slightly in his seat, an excited smile and warm pleading eyes fixed on Blaine.

The other boy bit his lip, looking incredibly uncertain. "It's not that… it's not that I don't _want _to come watch you guys perform… it's just…" Blaine shrugged, eyes dropping to his hands as he trailed off quietly.

Kurt reached over on impulse and gently took one of Blaine's hands in his, hoping the contact would get Blaine to look up again."I promise you'll have fun. And the others really want you to come – half of them had already just assumed you were. Even if you don't sing with us – _yet – _you're still a member of New Directions."

Blaine was clearly tense, but Kurt's words did draw out a tiny, happy smile. "This Saturday?" Kurt nodded. "Okay-"

Kurt squealed, "Yes! Thank you!" He threw his arms around Blaine's neck, and the other boy laughed.

"I said okay, but I still need to clear it with my parents."

"Why would they mind? You're totally coming Blaine." Kurt waved a hand.

Blaine looked doubtful, "You haven't met them… they can be pretty strict when they want to… But I'll do my best persuading, promise."

* * *

Kurt had finally got a text from Blaine in the middle of Friday Night Dinner. He was allowed to come, and would meet the glee club at school 9am the next morning. Kurt was just saying goodbye to his dad – he was driving separately to the competition later with Carole to support their sons – when Blaine's car drove up, Cooper at the wheel. Kurt wandered over, catching the tail end of what was clearly an argument as they got out of the car. "I know it sucks, Blaine, but Mom's got a point. You can still-"

"_No_, Cooper." Blaine's mouth was set in a thin line, and Kurt didn't think he could remember ever seeing the boy look so mutinous. His mouth relaxed slightly as he saw Kurt, "Hey – you ready for today?"

Cooper ignored Blaine's pointed dismissal, ploughing on, "You've got your phone on you, right?"

"_Cooper!" _Blaine snapped, "Just leave it for once will you? You're as bad as Mom and Dad."

Cooper scowled, and Kurt felt distinctly uncomfortable, but then the older man rubbed his hand over his face looking exhausted. "I don't want to argue with you, squirt. You clearly know what's best." Blaine looked suddenly incredibly guilty, as if Cooper might as well have punched him. "I'll see you tonight – good luck with the competition, Kurt."

Kurt nodded his thanks, not really wanting to get in between the brothers, but slipped his hand into Blaine's all the same. Blaine gripped back so strongly Kurt's fingers throbbed. As Cooper was getting into the car, Blaine finally choked out, "I'll call. I promise."

Cooper just nodded briefly, not quite cold, but not warm either, and got back into the car to drive away. When he was gone, Blaine groaned, head dropping sideways against Kurt's shoulder for a second. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Are you okay? I didn't realise you joining us at Regionals would cause you that much hassle with your family. _I'm_ sorry – I shouldn't have pushed you."

Blaine shook his head, "No. I _wanted_ to come. The others already on the bus?"

The change of subject was obvious, so Kurt let it go for now. Blaine clearly wanted a distraction.

And it wasn't long before they both got swept away in the excitement and pre-competition hype. So much so that Kurt forgot about the odd incident that morning; Blaine seemed so happy, and the morning seemed a distant memory.

And then they were on stage performing, the air charged with the audience and the music, the entire experience passing in a blur that left them all elated. They _had _to win after that – their competition didn't stand a chance!

Except, in the midst of the excitement and the crowds, Kurt had lost Blaine. The last anyone remembered seeing him was in the green room just before they went on to perform…

Mercedes tugged at Kurt's arm, "Come on! We need to go on stage, they're gonna announce the winners!"

Kurt nodded absently, calling over the hubbub, "Have you seen Blaine?"

"Blaine? What, no – he's probably in the audience waiting for us to go on and win out way to Nationals!" Mercedes rolled her eyes. "You _sure _he's not your boyfriend?"

"Oh shut up." Kurt snapped, a sickly worry twisting in his stomach, even though logically he knew he should have no reason. They were at a show choir competition for god sake. What could have happened? "Look, I'll catch you up, I promise-"

"_Kurt-_"

"Three seconds, I swear."

Mercedes didn't look happy, but she let him go as she followed Quinn and Brittany in the direction of the stage. Kurt pulled his phone out of his pocket, trying without much hope to call Blaine for the umpteenth time. Except this time-

"_Kurt? Kurt! Where are you?"_

Kurt blinked. Blaine sounded… odd. "I'm near the doors to the left stage stairs – where are you?"

"_I…I don't know, I got lost!" _Blaine giggled, _"Kurt. Kurt, Kurt you guys were _amazing!"

"Blaine. Where are you?" There was something about Blaine's voice that set Kurt's teeth on edge.

"_What? I don't…" _Blaine voiced drifted, but then that horribly enthusiastic tone returned, "_Seriously, this is awesome – you guys have to win! Oops…_" There was more giggling.

Kurt started walking, "Blaine. For the last time, _where are you?_"

"_I… umm… near the front doors I think?"_

Kurt increased his pace, all thoughts of winning or losing gone, "Okay. Don't move. I'm coming to you."

"_Okay!"_ A pause. "_Why're you coming to me?"_

Kurt didn't answer. He had rounded the corner to see Blaine leaning against a wall, a dopey grin on his face as he held his phone to his ear. He hung up when he saw Kurt, pushing up from the wall slightly unsteadily, "Kurt! There you are! You guys were _amazing! _Did you win?"

Kurt lurched forwards the last few steps to grab at Blaine as the smaller boy stumbled, unsteady on his feet. His eyes were far too bright, and his mannerisms… Kurt couldn't help the words spilling from his mouth, "Blaine are you_ drunk?_"

Blaine blinked, his gaze dimmed with a vague flicker of offence, "What? No… why would you…" But then he swayed, pulling back from Kurt, his lips turning up in a grin, "We need to find out if you've won!"

"Oookay, I think we should get you to the nurse's station." Kurt had no idea what to think, only that Blaine was not acting like Blaine right now.

Blaine reeled backwards, stumbling until his back hit the wall hard, "No!" He blinked rapidly, clearly trying to clear his head, to focus. "No," he repeated, more calmly this time, "No, sorry, I'm… I'm okay, I'm fine."

Kurt didn't believe it for a second. "Blaine, please, what's wrong? Tell me, you're scaring me."

Blaine shook his head, raising shaking hands to scrub over his face. "You should go back in. All the audience are seated again. They'll be announcing the winners."

Kurt waved his hand dismissively, "I'll be there on the stage when we win Nationals. This is just Regionals."

Blaine smiled wanly, looking suddenly exhausted. He seemed to be slightly steadier now from his spot against the wall. Less twitchy too. There was silence between them, until Kurt heard a distant roar echo through the halls. They must have announced the winners. Kurt moved to lean against the wall next to Blaine, the backs of their hands brushing slightly as they hung between them. Finally Blaine mumbled, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come today. I... I wasn't feeling well this morning, but I thought I could power through it. I felt dizzy and lightheaded earlier too so I guess Mom was right and I am coming down with a cold or something…"

_Lie._

The instinct hissed under Kurt's skin, hot and angry. Blaine had been fine earlier. Unsettled by his argument with his family, yes, but he hadn't been sick.

No. Enough. Kurt couldn't bear the secrets anymore and now after today he couldn't go on not knowing!

A brief rumbling was their only clue, and then people were spilling out into the entrance hall. Kurt's half-formed words were stalled as Blaine made a tiny noise in his throat, and fumbled to grasp at Kurt's hand. There was a faint tremor in his grip, and his eyes flickered rapidly over the faces of the gossiping people.

"Blaine!" A shout sounded over the general ruckus, and Kurt looked up to see Cooper pushing his way through against the tide of people. What on earth… what was he doing here? True, Kurt had been one minute away from taking Blaine's phone and calling the older man, but how was he here?

Blaine blinked, his eyes betraying as much confusion as Kurt felt. "Cooper? What are you doing here?"

Cooper, if possible, looked even more worried at Blaine's question, his hand falling to grip Blaine's shoulder. "You called me remember? After the first school performed."

Recognition flickered, and then panic, "Mom-"

Cooper's eyes hardened, but there was still an urgent concern written over his face. "Don't give me a reason to tell her you called. She thinks I'm catching up with some old school friends."

"I didn't think my cold was that bad…" Blaine stuttered over his words.

His brother looked distinctly unimpressed, his eyes flicking to Kurt for a moment before settling back on his brother. "Uh huh. Alright, let's get you home."

"Blaine-" Kurt bit his lip, unwillingly to see his friend leave without any answers.

But Blaine just offered him a tired, apologetic smile, "You should go find out who won, Kurt. Thanks for staying with me. I'll see you at school on Monday?"

"Sure…" Kurt's words stuck in his throat, "Feel better Blaine."

He stood, feeling slightly lost as the brothers disappeared out of sight. He wasn't sure how long he stood there for, but suddenly there was a pair of strong arms sweeping him up in a hug, "I knew you kids would do it! Other schools didn't stand a chance." Burt Hummel pulled back from his son, grinning widely, but then his expression morphed into a frown as he noticed how sombre his son seemed. "Kurt? What's wrong?"

Kurt shook himself, pulling on a smile that would fool most people, "Nothing, nothing. So we won? Brilliant! Oh my god, Dad that means we're going to Nationals in New York!"

Except his dad wasn't most people, and Burt didn't look convinced, "So it wasn't just my bad eyes then? You _weren't _on that stage with the others when they announced the winner."

"What? No, no, I just got a bit distracted, didn't see the time and then I heard cheering and it sucks I missed it but-"

"Kurt." His dad interrupted his voice flat, clearly not buying into what his son was trying to sell. "I may not be well up on all this show choir stuff, but I know about competitions and how much you kids wanted to win. You didn't just 'lose track of time'. What's going on?"

Kurt's shoulders slumped, "Blaine."

One word, one name, and everything was explained. Kurt had been talking about Blaine to his dad since the day he had met the other boy. Burt might not have met this kid yet, but any boy who able to act so naturally with his son was going to get his attention. "I see. And where's Blaine now?"

"He wasn't feeling well – his brother just picked him up."

Burt frowned, "His brother drove all the way from Lima? How sick was he?"

Kurt just shrugged, throwing his hands up in frustration, "I don't know. I don't know anything! Because Blaine won't tell me and he was acting really weird, Dad. Like, scary weird. He wasn't really with it, like he was drunk, but he wasn't, I know he wasn't." Kurt sighed, thudding back against the wall. "I don't know what to do anymore, Dad. He's my best friend and he won't talk to me. I _know_ there's something going on with him."

Kurt stared at his dad, willing him to provide some answers. Burt sighed, wrapping an arm around his son's shoulders, "You can't make Blaine tell you, though I agree with you – even I can tell there's something going on with this kid and I've not even met him. But Kurt… be careful, okay? I know you're worried, but you know you can be pushy when you're worried, don't you? Blaine might not appreciate that."

Kurt rolled his eyes, but accepted his dad's advice. He knew he had a tendency to hover over those he loved whenever there was the slightest chance something was wrong. His dad said that he took after his mom, but Kurt just felt it was something he had to do. He couldn't sense when things were wrong, and that bugged him, perhaps even made him more paranoid than other people. "I'll talk to him on Monday."

"Good plan. Now, shall we go find the others? We've got some celebrating to do!"

Kurt managed a grin for his dad, but he was already planning how he was going to confront Blaine.

Except, Monday came and went without Blaine. And Tuesday. And Wednesday.

He texted Blaine, but only got stock answers in reply.

_I'm fine! Don't worry :)_

_Cold was worse than I thought I guess – do you think you can put my homework in my locker for when I get back please? Combo 4352. Don't want infect anyone with my germs! xx_

_Urgh I feel like I'm under house arrest! Bored. Back tomorrow hopefully!_

It sounded like Blaine but they were just texts! He needed to talk to Blaine, to see Blaine.

The girls just teased Kurt, saying he was experiencing separation anxiety.

Kurt didn't even care if that was true anymore. He just really wanted it to be tomorrow.

TBC

Author Notes: I'm so so happy people seem to be interested in this story! I love reading your guesses about what's going on! :D I'll try to get another update out before the end of the week - next chapter things get really interesting! xx


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Thursday was bad. Really bad.

Kurt didn't see Blaine until lunch, and when he did, he immediately found himself second guessing his belief that Blaine being sick had been some sort of lie.

Blaine's face was drawn, his skin sallow and pale, eyes dull and marred by dark shadows underneath. Every action seemed to take a momentous effort, exhaustion seeping from every pore. He really didn't look well. A fact that each and every member of glee club kept pointing out. Repeatedly. All day.

It really didn't add to Blaine's mood, which was a direct contrast from the relatively upbeat texts Kurt had been receiving.

And so, by the time Kurt did manage to corner Blaine, he just didn't have the heart to properly confront him. Especially because when Blaine wasn't preoccupied with staying awake, he was actually acting quite hostile towards anyone who displayed even the smallest hint of concern for him. Kurt didn't want to give Blaine an excuse to push him away, when he was pretty sure the only reason Blaine was still upright by the end of school was because he was using Kurt as a prop.

Kurt remembered scanning the parking lot for Cooper. He remembered turning to Blaine in confusion, trying to work out how to ask a question without getting his head bitten off, when Blaine had mumbled something quietly, in the same, horrible, listless voice he had used all day.

And the first piece slotted into place.

Cooper was gone. Cooper was back in New York, had been since last Monday night, although why Kurt still didn't know. The person who had been waiting for Blaine was his mother.

Kurt didn't meet her that day. Blaine was too quick to avoid talking, too quick to run away.

But if Thursday had been bad, Friday was infinitely worse. _Blaine_ was worse.

At first, Kurt was hopeful. Blaine had smiled softly when they met at their lockers, and he seemed slightly more alert. Things seemed better, as if Blaine was getting over what virus he'd had.

But now, Kurt knew, it wasn't a virus. There was no getting over it. The day Blaine got over it would be the day Kurt could sense emotions.

"Hey, Blaine, you in here?" Kurt called, poking his head into the empty choir room. Blaine had been absent at the lockers when the bell for lunch had rung, and Kurt knew better than to look for him in the cafeteria. "Blaine? Blaine, what's wrong?"

Blaine was sitting curled up on a pair of the hard plastics chairs, legs folded into his body, phone held loosely in his fingers. He stared at it, looking completely lost and alone. The only indication that he had heard Kurt's question was a tiny shake of his head.

Tentatively, Kurt, perched on the edge of the chair Blaine was using for his feet, and rested a gentle hand on Blaine's knee. "Blaine, please. I'm worried about you."

Blaine bit his lip, swallowing thickly, eyes shining a little too brightly. "It's so _stupid_." He choked, "I'm being stupid."

Kurt shook his head. "Will you talk to me about it? I might be able to help?"

Blaine offered a half shrug, turning his phone over and over in twitchy hands. "My mom's got to work late. She can't get out of it. I have to…" His voice cracked, and there was a definite hysterical edge to it. "I have to get the bus home I guess. Or… I don't know… walking might be better. I just, I miss Cooper, so much. And it's not her fault, I know she has to work, and I made Cooper _promise_ not to tell her about last week at your competition, but I just, I just _can't_…"

Kurt's stomach twisted, "Hey. Hey, it's okay, I'll give you a ride home, you don't have to get the bus."

Blaine looked up wildly, his eyes shimmering with a kaleidoscope of emotions. "You don't… I mean you don't need…"

"Don't be silly, Blaine. I do. And when you're feeling better – when you're not having a bad day and a crappier week, maybe you'll think about letting me in, and we can talk about what's been going on with you?" Kurt didn't know where his words were coming from. He didn't _want_ to give Blaine time; he didn't want to take a step back, to be the _mature_ one.

But he had to.

Blaine let out a shuddering breath, as if an iron band had snapped from around his chest, and a weight was lifted. "_Thank you._"

* * *

Okay, so Kurt was starting to seriously think that Cooper had a point about that cat. She was _creepy_.

The drive to Blaine's house had been relatively quiet, free from their usual easy chatter. Blaine's head had kept drooping, falling to rest against the window, eyes lidded with sleep. Kurt had let him be; anything to help remove those horrible dark shadows from under his eyes.

When he had pulled up, Blaine had sat there simply staring up at the lifeless house and empty drive. He had looked… he had actually looked scared. There had been something deep in that look, something that spoke of more than simply going back to a parentless house when he wasn't feeling very well.

So when Blaine had tentatively invited him in, Kurt had said yes immediately, even though he knew he had to be back home at a decent time for Friday Night Dinner.

And that was when Kurt had become reacquainted with Molly.

She had just been _sitting._ Waiting on the third step of the hall staircase, tail twitching, staring at the door as they entered.

Still, what Kurt found creepy, Blaine clearly found comforting, because the other boy immediately went over to her, scooping her up and holding her close. To the creepy cat's credit, she was completely pliable in his arms, just letting Blaine take comfort from her. Already, Kurt could see a little of the tension drain away from Blaine.

"I want to tell you the truth."

Blaine's voice made Kurt jump. He couldn't keep the surprise from his face, but he smiled warmly in a way he hoped was reassuring. "Okay. Did you want to go up to your room?"

Blaine nodded, leading the way. His feet seemed to drag, as if he was dreading the coming conversation. It gave Kurt a little time to dwell over Blaine's choice of words, and in doing so he found that he _really_ didn't like to dwell. It gave his imagination way too much scope.

Kurt waited for Blaine to settle on the bed, Molly still held close to his chest like some kind of furry shield. Deciding to give Blaine some space, Kurt made himself comfortable on the desk chair.

Silence swallowed them whole. Even Molly didn't make a noise. But Kurt was determined to let Blaine be the one to speak first.

The waiting paid off, but as soon as Blaine spoke Kurt found himself immediately wishing for the ignorant silence.

"I have an ES level of 4.8." The other boy's voice was flat, void of emotion, and wasn't that ironic.

Blaine might as well have punched Kurt, he doubted it would have felt much different.

Kurt's jaw worked, mouth moving without sound as his brain desperately tried to process what it was Blaine was trying to tell him. "H-how…?" Kurt wasn't even sure he knew what question he had tried to ask. There were too many, all of them sticking in his throat, dying on his leaden tongue.

"What?" Blaine voice was suddenly bitter, angry, his mouth twisted. But there was fear there too, Kurt could tell. A fear bred from an inability to guess what Kurt was thinking, a need to be defensive. "What were you going to ask? Go, on, you know you want to. Which one was it? How long until I'm dead, or just how long until I go crazy?"

Kurt flinched, throat burning and eyes stinging with tears he desperately willed not to fall. "N-no… I just… Blaine…" Blaine didn't look at him, his entire body curled defensively against Kurt's reaction, clinging to Molly as if she was the only thing keeping him together. "Can… can I sit on the bed?"

Blaine shrugged, wiping his sleeve viciously against his cheek. Molly's eyes followed Kurt intently as he rose and slowly moved to sit down next to Blaine.

The silence finally overcame the other boy. "You're… you're the first person outside my family to know since… a long time. Please… please don't freak out. I need you to not freak out. I need you to still be you. I need you to still see me… not some charity case with broken genetics and an expiry date…"

"Don't talk about yourself like that Blaine, it's not funny." Kurt rebuked him quietly, slowly wrapping his arms around Blaine, giving him every chance to pull away if he wanted to. "You're not broken. And… I think I'm freaking out slightly, but more in a shocked kind of way. I thought you were like me, but just not as extreme…"

Blaine blinked, twisting in Kurt's arms, "What do you mean?"

"Well, seeing as we're sharing digits here…" Kurt smiled softly as his words managed to pull a slight blush to Blaine's cheeks. It was a very personal thing, to know someone's exact level of Sensitivity. "My ES level is 0.5. I figured, you know, seeing as you can touch me without freaking out over my black hole of emotionless doom… God, Blaine, I never guessed you… Brittany's up there on the scale, probably the highest at McKinley and even she must only be 3.5 or something. The one time she touched my skin… I think my eardrums nearly burst she screamed so loudly."

Blaine stared at Kurt incredulously, a myriad of conflicting emotions passing across his face, until he stuttered, "I didn't… I thought…" He bit his lip, cutting off his words, ducking his head. "You don't make me want to scream."

Kurt couldn't stop the laugh the bubbled in his chest. "I'm glad." He squeezed Blaine's arm, and the smaller boy _finally _relaxed into Kurt's hug.

"I'm not normally this crazy, you know. This week's just been… really bad… Coop wasn't meant to go back to New York till next week." Blaine murmured.

"I don't think you're crazy Blaine. And I'm glad you told me. I… I'm not gonna lie, I don't know much about this stuff, but I'm here, I'm not going to run away. And I won't tell anyone at school, I promise, not if you don't want me to." Kurt's forced his voice to be calm, forced his voice not to shake. He might not know much about this, true, but he did know the weight of what Blaine was telling him. Of what it meant. And he was terrified for his friend, and for himself, because what if he screwed up? What if he did something wrong?

They sat together, for how long, Kurt wasn't entirely sure. It was clear that Blaine had used up whatever energy he had been running on to get home from school, as his body leant further into Kurt's. "You've got dinner with your dad…" Blaine mumbled tiredly, jerking his head up slightly as the thought came to him.

"I said I'd stay with you until your parents get home. I don't want to leave you alone right now."

Blaine bristled, "I'm fine-"

"Blaine." Kurt cut him off smartly. "When you're feeling better, we can talk about what this all means, but be honest with me right now; do you actually want me to leave or are you just trying to be polite?"

Blaine pulled back enough to look Kurt in the eyes. The look he gave Kurt made the other boy's chest hurt. Why should Blaine be so surprised at his reaction? Why should he look so _thankful?_ Kurt was his friend, of course he was worried. Kurt wasn't sure he wanted to know what the root of Blaine's look was…

And then a pair of arms was flung tightly around his neck, Molly making a disgruntled noise as she was dislodged. A great shudder ran through Blaine's body, as if his words were raw and new in his throat. "Stay? Please?"

And that was that. Kurt wasn't turning away now. Not that he would have even considered it anyway. Still, as he lay on Blaine's bed, staring up at the ceiling with his best friend napping against his side, he couldn't help but let his thoughts drown him. Too many thoughts.

Blaine's ES level… it was unthinkable. Kurt knew what it meant. Not in the sense of what Blaine went through every day, but he knew what it _meant_. Kurt's Sensitivity was rare, and horrible…

But it wasn't a sentence of torture and death.

Unbidden, a high profile news story from the previous year crept into his head. A baby girl, born in Australia with an ES level of 5.7, the highest level ever recorded. Unlike when he and Blaine were younger, there were actual tests for a baby's levels to properly prepare parents. Kurt had been diagnosed pretty early on because his was so low, but he knew the higher ranges were harder to recognise.

The baby had died before she was even a week old. The stress of such a high level of Sensitivity had been more than her system could handle.

The same was true for anyone born with a level of over 5, although life expectancy varied; the Australian case had been unprecedented. Blaine's level… it was horrible to think it, but Kurt couldn't understand how the boy was still sane. How could he live, every day, drowning in everyone's emotions? It must have gotten worse when Blaine grew to a teenager, and he was sixteen now…

Kurt's arms unconsciously tightened around Blaine's sleeping form.

He couldn't lose him. He wouldn't. He was Kurt's best friend… he was… he was more than that. At least, Kurt wanted him to be.

But there was still that creeping voice, words of ice that crawled over his skin.

Blaine would be lucky to live past twenty-five. And he knew it.

TBC

Author Notes: Wow. I am SO sorry this took me a week to get out! You know when something has been living in your head for so long that getting it out into words seems almost impossible? That happened. I hope I did the big reveal justice! Although most of you were very good with your guesses, I hope there was some surprise still there for you! Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter out in better time! Loves xxx


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

There was the sound of a door slamming downstairs, and a muffled call. The noise wasn't enough to wake Blaine, who was still sleeping soundly, curled tightly into Kurt's side. It was, however, enough to finally jerk Kurt from his increasing spiral of thoughts. He glanced at the clock. It wasn't as late as he had expected, only a little after five. Clearly one of Blaine's parents had managed to get off work early after all.

"_Blaine? You up here?" _A male voice floated through the closed door, more clearly now as its owner ascended the stairs. Blaine's dad then, it must be, seeing as if Cooper were still in Ohio Blaine would probably be in much better shape than he was now… although what link Cooper had to his little brother's emotional stability, Kurt had yet to fathom.

He nudged Blaine gently in an attempt to wake him, already moving to sit up himself, incredibly glad for the arrival of an adult who actually understood what was going on.

The door swung open softly, and a man in a sharp suit stood in the doorway. He looked so much like an older version of Cooper it was startling… except for his eyes. His eyes were a dark amber, and right now, they were fixed on the pair of boys, lying on his son's bed. Surprise and shock quickly gave way to a terrifying cold anger, and all of a sudden Kurt found himself genuinely afraid.

"Who the _hell_ are you?" The voice of Blaine's dad thundered into the silence of the room, jerking a very confused Blaine awake. He took two strides into the room, hands gathering into fists. "Get away from my son!"

Kurt leapt off the bed with such speed it was as if he had been electrocuted. His hands rose up placating in front of him, and his heart pounded in his ears, beating rabbit-quick. Blaine had never said anything about his dad having a problem with him being gay! But then, maybe actually seeing him being held by another boy was enough to make the father snap. He watched the large man warily, keeping half an eye on Blaine who was just blinked confusedly between them both.

Except…

As soon as Kurt has jumped away, Mr Anderson's full attention was trained on his son. He dropped to his knees next to the bed, hands immediately cupping Blaine's face, forcing his son to look at him. His movements were fluid, as if practiced. "Blaine? Can you hear me? What happened?" He looked up at Kurt, his gaze cold and emotionless while at the same time thrumming with a clear threat. "What did you do to him?"

Kurt was thrown, but he swallowed his fear. He would not let this man bully him. "I… I haven't…"

Blaine finally seemed to wake up. "No! Dad stop! This is Kurt, he's my friend!" His little outburst seemed to use up what little energy he had regained in sleep, and Blaine slumped back again slightly, his voice less forceful. Kurt had to restrain himself from going to help the other boy. "Kurt drove me home after school. I asked me to stay with me until you or Mom came home. Please don't be angry, Dad. I'm sorry."

Mr Anderson seemed assess his son for a moment, and for the first time Kurt thought he could glimpse genuine worry lines on the man's face. Finally, he turned to Kurt, asking gruffly, "You're the one Cooper met?"

Kurt folded his arms across his body. "Yes." He paused, loath to give this man any kind of respect considering the entrance he had just given, but this was still Blaine's dad. "Sir."

He could feel Mr Anderson's eyes on him, silently judging him, before he turned back to Blaine, "Have you had anything to drink since you've been home?"

Blaine flushed, looking down, "No… I don't feel too bad…"

Mr Anderson sighed tiredly. "Blaine, I swear sometimes you are your own worst enemy." Glancing at Kurt, he instructed, "Alright. Make yourself useful, then. Go downstairs and pour a glass of water. Dissolve three decent sized tablespoons of sugar into it – you'll find it on the side – and bring the water back up here for Blaine." He turned back to his son, prodding him gently to get Blaine to move over so he could sit on the bed and face him. When he spoke again his voice was much softer. "As for you – you know the drill. Full account please."

Blaine winced, and Kurt didn't move. He stared at Blaine, completely baffled. The other boy just looked mortified and more than a little apologetic, "Dad…"

Mr Anderson didn't let him finish, holding up a hand that halted Blaine's protest. He did however spare a few words for Kurt, "Anytime you feel like it."

Blaine's dad was definitely not the kind of person Kurt would describe as warm…

He decided that his best course of action would to be to follow the instructions he had been given, although the reason behind them still mystified him. As he headed downstairs, he could hear Blaine's tones floating behind him, but the other boy was speaking too softly for Kurt to make out the words.

His phone buzzed. It was a text from his dad, asking if he would be home soon. Kurt's stomach twisted guiltily, but he knew he couldn't leave, not now. Even if he would much rather put as much distance between himself and Mr Anderson as possible, there was still Blaine to think about, and Kurt was on this bizarre errand for him. He texted back with an apology and a hedged answer of hopefully being home soon, knowing he would have to face his dad that evening.

Kurt returned to Blaine's room with a large glass of sugar water, catching the tail end of Mr Anderson's sentence, "-and we'll see if we can't get Cooper on Skype as well tomorrow." He had moved, and was now sitting perched next to Blaine, his arm around his son's shoulders as Blaine rested against his side. "Ah. Thank you."

It was the first polite thing Mr Anderson had said to Kurt, and he desperately wanted to snipe something back, but didn't want to ruin the change in mood. The older man seemed much calmer than before, less hostile too. "Drink it all please, Blaine."

"Dad, I don't-" Blaine protested, but then stopped when he saw the stubborn look on his father's face. He tentatively took a sip, and then a large gulp when his father continued to look unimpressed. Kurt hovered near the doorway, uncertain what to do. When Blaine had finished the glass, his dad removed it gently from his grip and set it on the side.

"Go back to sleep, Blaine. I'll wake you when dinner's ready." His voice was soft and tender. It only served to make Kurt more confused.

Blaine's eyes were drooping again, and his body was pliant as he allowed himself to be moved to lie down, only making a slight noise of protest, "Kurt-"

"I will show your friend out, don't worry."

Blaine mumbled something that Kurt didn't quite catch, but his father clearly had. The man sighed, suddenly sounding just as tired as his son. He bent slightly, dropping a kiss onto his son's forehead, murmuring, "You haven't ruined anything, bug, I promise. Now get some sleep."

Kurt swallowed back the lump in his throat, uneasily feeling like he was intruding. Blaine shouldn't look like that, so exhausted and upset. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair.

He was silent as he followed Mr Anderson downstairs, keeping a few steps behind. The man may have seemed loving towards Blaine, but Kurt wasn't about to forget their rather abrupt introduction. "If you have time, would you join me in the kitchen? I would like to speak with you."

Kurt was under no illusions that he had any choice in the matter, but he answered nonetheless, "Sure."

He followed Blaine's father into the kitchen, watching him carefully. He walked over to the counter, turning to lean against it, gesturing for Kurt to sit at the kitchen table.

He didn't. He stayed standing.

"I apologise for being so blunt, but what is your relationship with my son?"

Straight to the point then, okay, Kurt could handle this. "Didn't Blaine tell you? I'm his best friend. We go to school together."

"He did, but I much prefer to hear your version as well. You're gay?"

Kurt ground his teeth at the man's attitude, answering bluntly. "Yes."

"And your ES level is, what? You can't be above a 1."

"I don't see how that is any of your business." Kurt bit out defensively.

"Why?" There was an eerie calm to Mr Anderson's entire posture and speech. It was unsettling. "You know my son's now after all. It's only fair that I know yours."

"Blaine knows. He told me his, so I told him mine." Kurt knew his voice was rising but this man was making him so _angry_. "And it is _none_ of your damn business. I don't care who you are. What Blaine and I tell each other is ours, no one else's."

And then Mr Anderson was _smiling_ and that just made Kurt even angrier. "Good. I'm glad to hear that."

"I… what?" Kurt spluttered.

"I'm sorry for how we met this afternoon, Kurt, and I hope you can forgive me for my attitude towards you. You didn't deserve that. I just…" He stopped rubbing his hands over his face in an action that suddenly made him so much more human. "Blaine doesn't have a great track record with friends, and I won't see him hurt, not if I can help him avoid it. I need to know that you will be good for my son. Blaine has to come first. I already know his opinion of you, but I need to know where you stand."

Kurt's mouth worked like a fish for a second, before he pulled himself together. "Blaine is my best friend. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardise that, or hurt him."

"I'm very relieved to hear that. How much has Blaine told you about his condition?"

"I only found out today… but I've noticed things. Especially since last Saturday…" Kurt trailed off, suddenly remembering Blaine's insistence that his parents not find out about the incident. Looking back on it with what he knew now, Kurt had to wonder what had really happened. He hoped Blaine would feel comfortable enough to explain…

Mr Anderson's lips quirked into a half-smile, "Don't worry, Blaine just told me. I'm not angry with either of you for keeping it from me. You especially had no reason to worry. My eldest on the other hand… let's just say he should be glad he's in another state right now. He should know better. And, I hope, very soon you will know better too."

Kurt cocked his head, his folded arms loosening slightly from where they crossed over his chest, "I don't understand."

"You are Blaine's best friend. You said it yourself. If you are able to handle everything that you have learnt about Blaine, if you decide to remain friends-" Kurt opened his mouth in protest, but Mr Anderson halted him with a raised hand, "This is a lot for a teenager to deal with Kurt, and it would be better for everyone, Blaine especially, if you decide whether you can deal with this now, before one of you gets really hurt. If you can, then I would like you to be fully informed, able to recognise the signs."

Kurt nodded, "I want to be able to help Blaine. If… if I'd known before, then maybe Blaine wouldn't be so bad now, I could've noticed, or-"

"Don't." Mr Anderson's voice was surprisingly gentle, even a little kind. "If you start along that train of thought, you will never be happy, trust me. Now, you have a lot to think about, and I'm sure your parents will be wondering where you are."

"Right, I should go…" Kurt nodded, turning to leave, before pausing, "It was nice to meet you Mr Anderson."

"And you, Kurt" He was actually smiling. It wasn't the same exuberant smile of his sons, it was much more reserved, but it was still surprisingly reassuring. "And call me John. You are welcome here, anytime."

Considering the man's first reaction to Kurt, this was a serious improvement, "Thank you. I hope Blaine feels better." He began to head back through the lounge to grab his shoes and head home, when Mr Anderson called after him.

"Oh, and Kurt?" Once Kurt had turned, Blaine's father continued, an odd spark in his eyes that reminded Kurt far too much of Cooper. "Should you and Blaine decide that you both want to be _more_ than best friends, I would have no objection."

Kurt blushed beetroot red, mortified as he scurried out of the house, but he couldn't deny the warm coiling of his stomach at the words.

As he drove home, however, the weight of the afternoon because to settle around his chest, dispelling the warm feeling with dark thoughts and colder dreads. By the time he pulled into the drive, any thoughts of hunger were gone, replaced by that nasty lump in his throat. Because now Blaine wasn't with him, now he didn't need to be strong…

Kurt quietly entered his house, hoping to sneak upstairs. He could hear his family in the kitchen, the clatter of cutlery on plates a comforting backdrop to easy chatter.

"Kurt? That you?"

He heard his dad call from the kitchen, but he couldn't bring himself to answer. He couldn't _breathe_. He needed to run, he needed to get away.

Kurt ran upstairs, ignoring his dad's annoyed shout after him. He was late, he had barely texted, but he couldn't deal with family time right now, he couldn't, he didn't-

He slammed his bedroom door behind him, and barely made it to his bed before his limbs gave out, tears already welling treacherously in his eyes, throat tightening.

"Kurt, what the hell-" His dad burst into his room, clearly angry. When he spoke again, his tone was soft and worried, "Kurt? Buddy, what's happened?"

"I…" Kurt barely managed to get that one, tiny word out before his chest tightened with wrenching, ugly sobs. He couldn't speak, he just needed to let it out. Let out what he hadn't been able to around Blaine. He needed to be scared, he needed to be confused, upset, angry. He needed his dad to hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay, that he was strong enough.

In the morning, he would research. In the morning, he would be okay. In the morning, he would text Blaine.

But it wasn't the morning yet, and as he felt his dad's strong arms encase him, he let himself have this evening.

TBC

Author Notes: Wow so the response from you guys is incredible! I love hearing from each and every one of you :D Next chapter will be a little different, I already have it planned out and with easter coming up I'm hoping I'll have more time to write! xxx


	7. Interlude: Cooper

Interlude: Cooper

Cooper's foot jiggled nervously as the cab turned the corner into a quiet, suburban road. He was always someone who had too much pent up energy, but this was something else. He just couldn't sit still. The woman who had sat next to him on his flight from New York must have been very relieved when they landed…

The cabbie didn't seem that bothered though. Cooper assumed he had a rather low sensitivity, because he _knew_ he was projecting.

No. Stop. You're nearly there, and you _can't _project. You're a damn actor, get it together. Stop projecting.

Unbidden, a vibrant daydream floated across Cooper's mind's eye. It was a variation of many like it. Blaine driving the car, snapping good-naturedly at his big brother, "_Seriously Cooper, quit it. You're making me a nervous driver. If we crash, it will totally be your fault."_

But the daydream was fleeting, too bright and too fake, just like all the others that Cooper had indulged in since he was a kid. Indulged… maybe tortured would be a better description for it. Blaine would never drive Cooper anywhere; he would never pick him up from the airport. He would never be allowed behind the wheel of a car, let alone be approved for a driver's permit.

"Here we are, buddy."

The taxi had pulled up outside a house Cooper had only been to a handful of times, on holidays and fleeting visits. It wasn't his childhood home – that was a couple of towns over, and the Andersons hadn't lived there since... The driver pulled his case out of the trunk as Cooper count out the fare from his wallet. It wasn't cheap, but his dad had insisted he take his car for the month, rather than spend out on hiring one for that length of time. Not that Cooper couldn't have afforded it.

His dad would have picked him up from the airport, but his mom had only started a new job the other week, and it would have meant Blaine would have been alone all morning. Not that Blaine couldn't be left alone – that time was behind them, thank god. But they didn't like to highlight Blaine's difference. They didn't like to make a big deal. And if Blaine had asked to come with their dad to pick Cooper up, he would have been had to be told no.

Airport arrivals and Blaine did not make for a good combination.

The door opened before Cooper could knock, "Hey Dad!"

John Anderson was a hair taller than his eldest son, with a grin to match. He also gave the best hugs in the world. Whenever his dad hugged him, Cooper always felt calmer, more confident and sure. He felt that strength wash through him now, as large arms wrapped warmly around him in greeting. "Cooper!" He pulled back, one hand still on his son's shoulder as he picked up the case with the other, leading him inside. "You made good time. Flight alright?"

Cooper shrugged, "Can't complain. Where's the rest of my welcoming committee?"

"Coop!" A shout from the top of the stairs drew both men's attention, shortly followed by a tumbling of thuds as the youngest Anderson ran down to join them. "You're home!"

Cooper only had a brief second to brace himself, both physically and mentally, as his little brother leapt into his arms. He staggered slightly, both from Blaine's momentum and from the sensation of being hugged by him. Blaine's enthusiasm and excitement danced underneath Cooper's skin, tingling invisible starbursts colliding and crashing into his nerves, trying to steal his breath. He laughed louder than he normally would, "Missed you too, squirt. Christmas seems way too long ago."

Their dad came to Cooper's rescue, gently touching the small of Blaine's back as the younger boy pulled back slightly from the hug. "Let your brother breathe, Blaine, he's only just come in the door." Blaine grinned sheepishly. "I've fixed Cooper a late lunch. It's in the kitchen, so why don't you grab it and we'll all go sit in the living room?"

Blaine dashed off, and Cooper let himself have a moment, breathing heavily as he let his dad calm him with a solid hand to his arm. He smiled incredulously, "Thanks. I always forget. Each time I come home, I always forget how intense…" His voice dropped to a murmur, "I can't believe you're sending him back to a public school…"

"It's what Blaine wants." Dad repeated the same words of defence he had been steadfastly saying since Blaine had raised the issue at Christmas. Cooper couldn't say he was thrilled about it, and Mom… she was seriously against it, he knew. Still, in the end, Dad and Blaine had won their case, and next week would see the end to Blaine's home schooling.

Mom had pleaded for him to wait, to think about it, to hold off until junior year, or even at least until the new semester. But Blaine had been even more stubborn than usual. Where ever he had got the idea that he wanted to return to high school, he had made up his mind.

And so, their parents had researched the school, and Cooper had arranged to live at home for a month while Blaine settled in. Mom even started looking for a new job, now that she wouldn't need to stay at home with Blaine.

Still, this week had come far too quickly for Cooper's comfort.

* * *

Picking up Blaine from his first day at his new school, McKinley, Cooper knew he was early. But he had put it off for as long as he could, the empty house seeming cold and hostile. He had hated leaving Blaine that morning. He had hated the principal, the guidance councillor, the students. He had hated the school, and all the dangers he could see, could feel.

He had very nearly dragged Blaine right out of that place as soon as they had set foot through the doors.

This was such a bad idea.

He shoved his nerves aside. Stop it. This isn't about you, this is about Blaine. About the poor kid actually having a life without shadows and fears stalking him every second.

He knew Blaine had been nervous that morning. Mom had been terrified, and Cooper hadn't been much better, and all of those emotions had only served to make Blaine's first morning even scarier than it should have been. Dad had been forced to take Mom out of the bedroom before she sent Blaine into a spiral, and had nearly taken Blaine to school himself until Cooper convinced him he could keep it together.

The bell rang, and Cooper tensed, waiting. Most of the kids were dispersed by the time he caught a glimpse of that familiar gelled hair and neat yellow cardigan. He watched carefully as Blaine approached, trying to assess his little brother's state of mind. His stomach twisted when he saw how carefully Blaine's hands were curled up the sleeves of his cardigan, how precisely Blaine had dressed himself that morning to make sure he would never accidentally touch another person's skin. It was a sight Cooper hadn't seen in such a long time, and one he hated.

He opened his arms with the smallest of movements, and Blaine slipped into his embrace with an exhausted slump. His bare cheek pressed into the side of Cooper's neck, and Cooper immediately felt the swell of overwhelming fears and doubts through the contact. As clawing stress tried to bind his chest, he took a breath, concentrating on staying calm and neutral while his stomach roiled with emotions that were only in part his own. "Hard?"

Blaine nodded softly, his shoulders already less tense with the comforting touch of his brother.

Cooper wanted to scream. He wanted to yell. He wanted to bundle Blaine up and protect him from the world.

But he couldn't. He wouldn't.

* * *

The week, as it went on, got easier. Cooper started to see his brother shine again. Blaine started talking on the car journey home, about the kids at school and the talent of a singing club he had seen rehearse a few times.

But it wasn't until the next week that Blaine really underwent a transformation, and the faceless, abstract kids he had mentioned earlier began to morph into names and descriptions.

Began to become a mysterious boy, named Kurt.

And suddenly, Cooper was helping his little brother buy coffee for Kurt. Kurt, who was amazing. Kurt, who was talented and incredible. Kurt, who was smart and witty and unbelievable. Kurt, who had the most _beautiful_ eyes ever and _oh my god Coop shut up I didn't mean it like that!_

Kurt, who had brought his brother back to life.

Kurt, who…

Well, to say that his first meeting with the kid had yielded some rather _unexpected _results would be understating it in the extreme.

As soon as he had seen him, Cooper had known he was different. Tall and pale, the kid walked with a confidence and pride that Cooper could see… but not feel. Cooper didn't need contact to sense surface emotions, and so staring at the kid was like staring into a void. He could _see_ Kurt. He knew he was there, but the lack of subconscious _presence_ set Cooper's teeth on edge. A niggling feeling squirmed in the back of his mind, itched down his spine. His mind demanded information, but everything was distorted, _wrong._

Holy crap, how low was this kid on the scale? And why the hell hadn't Blaine mentioned anything? It was definitely one of Kurt's more defining… features.

But Cooper was still an actor, and he had grown up with Blaine. If anyone knew how to read emotions in people, it was him. And he was painfully aware of what it was like for people outside of society's norm. He could already see Kurt's wariness, his resigned expectation of how this meeting would play out.

Except Cooper wasn't _that guy_. He would never be that guy. Growing up with Blaine had made sure of that.

So he offered his hand, and held it out until Kurt shook it. He didn't let his face show the tiniest hint of discomfort, even though every instinct screamed that something was wrong. If he had still been a teenager, he knew that touching Kurt would have been too much for still settling senses.

Luckily, Cooper was nothing if not stubborn, and he'd be damned if he treated this kid as anything other than an ordinary teenager.

Still, as he got in the car, he couldn't help but sit slightly dazed for a moment.

Of all the kids in the world, and Blaine finds this one.

When Kurt had gone home for the evening, Cooper immediately sought out his little brother, flopping obnoxiously down on Blaine's bed. "So. Kurt."

Blain blinked at him, wary. "Yes…" He dragged out the word suspiciously.

"He's… unusual." Cooper hedged.

Blaine's reaction wasn't quite what he expected. The teenager grinned happily, "Isn't he brilliant? I can't believe… I can't believe how amazingly talented he is, and he wants to be friends with me and, Coop – I can _hug_ him!"

Cooper cocked his head slightly, unable to refrain from smiling as Blaine's joy sparkled warmly. "But that's what I mean. Doesn't Kurt's ES bother you?" _Or lack of…_

Blaine's confusion skittered at Cooper's fingertips. "Why would it?" Doubt, worry, insecurity. "You do like Kurt, don't you?"

"Woah, reel it back there squirt. I loved Kurt! He's seems like a good kid, and he's clearly great for you."

Blaine shrugged, "Then I don't get what you're talking about…"

"I…" Cooper shifted uncomfortably, unsure of how to pursue the issue when Blaine seemed to be skirting it. "Never mind. What do you want for dinner?"

* * *

Cooper stared at his cell, dull in his hands. He had no idea what to do… He couldn't… Especially not after what happened yesterday…

"Coop?" Blaine yawned widely as he entered the kitchen. It was early for a Sunday, and their parents were still in bed, but Cooper had needed to take a call from his agent in New York.

"Hey!" He smiled too brightly, and Blaine noticed immediately that something was wrong. After yesterday, Blaine's nerves were clearly still very raw. Cooper didn't even know why he bothered trying to pretend.

"What's happened? What's going on?" Panic flared in Cooper's gut, and he honestly didn't know if it was Blaine's or his own.

Cooper sighed, signalling for Blaine to join him at the kitchen table, "My agent called. He wants me back in New York a week early for an audition. I said I wouldn't go of course-" Cooper rushed on as soon as Blaine's face paled.

Blaine shook his head. "No, don't! Don't _do _that Coop, don't pretend..." He ran his hands shakily though his bed head of messy curls, "It's big, isn't it? You really want this audition."

"That doesn't matter Blaine-"

"I don't need a babysitter!" Blaine snapped. "I'm _sixteen_, and it's not like you weren't gonna leave in a week anyway! You can't put your life on hold for me Coop! I won't let you!"

"Blaine…" Cooper murmured sadly, "I've never put my life on hold for you, and neither have Mom and Dad. You're a part of our lives, not an inconvenience."

"You have to go. You _have_ to." Blaine insisted. "Coop, please…"

"I… Blaine, I don't…" He groaned. In his heart, he knew he wanted this part. He wanted it more than anything he'd ever gone up for. If he got it, it would be career changing. But then there was Blaine's incident yesterday at that damn glee competition... "If I go, you have to let me tell Mom and Dad about what happened yesterday. I don't mind covering for you when I'm still around to keep an eye on you, but if I do leave early, they have to know."

The spike of panic and terror that tore through Cooper's brain took him completely by surprise. Usually he could only feel that sort of intensity when he was touching Blaine. "You can't. Coop, you promised, you can't tell them, especially Mom. Please Coop, please don't, I promise I'll be fine. I _am_ fine, better than fine, see? Not tired, or anything! Please, you promised, you promised-"

Alarmed at Blaine's sudden change in mood, Cooper leapt out of his seat, dropping to his knees in front of Blaine, grasping his arms as he forced eye contact. "Hey, hey calm down, it's okay. Breathe, Blaine, just breathe."

Blaine did as he was instructed, closing his eyes and focussing on the touch of his older brother. When he seemed to have regained some of his equilibrium, he opened his eyes again and mumbled, "Please don't tell them. I don't want to go to Dalton."

Cooper stared at Blaine with unbridled shock. Where the _hell_ had that come from? "Blaine, no one's sending you to Dalton. Mom and Dad _barely_ considered it when you were still in hospital, but that was a long time ago. I promise-"

"I found a prospectus in Mom's desk." Blaine mumbled, his voice wet with pent up emotion. "Before Christmas."

Cooper rubbed his hands up and down Blaine's arms, "No, no Blaine, I promise. It was probably an old one left over-"

"It wasn't. It was next September's." Blaine shook his head, voice cracking. "I don't want to go, Coop, please! If you tell Mom and Dad they'll think I can't cope! They'll make me go!"

Cooper's head swam with Blaine's welling fear and overwrought emotions, but he didn't break contact, instead concentrating on projecting as many soothing feelings as he could scrape together. "Is that why you asked to stop being home schooled? Why you asked to go to McKinley?" Cooper asked quietly.

Blaine nodded, refusing to meet Cooper's eyes, "I wanted to prove that I'm okay… That I'm not a burden…"

Cooper laughed hollowly, drawing Blaine into a hug that the smaller boy melted into willingly, "That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard of, and I've had plenty in my life. Blaine, you are _never _a burden on this family. Never, you understand?" He felt Blaine nod against his shoulder, felt the dark fear recede. "And I promise, no one's sending you to Dalton."

"You won't tell?"

Cooper bit his lip. He knew he should. He knew that as a responsible adult, he should tell their parents about Blaine's current emotional state… but if he did, then he would lose Blaine's trust. Blaine was clearly already keeping things from their parents, and Cooper needed to know that he wasn't being shut out too. "One condition." He pulled back from Blaine, making sure his little brother was focussed on him, "You tell me everything. However small, you tell me if something happens, whenever your Sensitivity sends you even the slightest off balance, I need to know."

Blaine nodded vigorously, "I promise. And you'll go to your audition?"

Cooper didn't want to, how could he? But Blaine was clearly not going to let this drop, and the younger boy obviously felt he had something to prove. He sighed, giving in, "Alright, I'll go to the audition." Blaine smiled, happy, relieved, and full of a trust that curled tightly around the two brothers.

Cooper really hoped he was making the right decision.

TBC

Author Notes: I'm blown away by the support you guys are giving my little story! Thank you so much! Hope you liked the little pov change! xxx


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Fireworks burst and cracked, whistling across dreams and puncturing sleep, scarlets, oranges, umbers. All burned hot and bright, scarring the stars with anger and hurt, sweeping away peace with wrenching punctures and shots.

Blaine rocketed up in bed, breath panting as the fireworks blinded his mind's eye, pins and needles spreading poison up the lengths of his limbs, leaving goose bumps prickling in their wake.

Breathe, just breathe. One breath, two, focus, focus.

The fireworks faded, but the hurt remained, defensive and curling. Blaine shivered, his sweat-drenched skin cold in the night. He rubbed a hand over his face, forcing himself to focus, pushing the fearful anger away. It wasn't his; it never was. But he could still feel it, clawing at his chest, demanding to be heard.

Fireworks scattered briefly across his mind once more, duller now that he was awake and more in control. This time, they were accompanied by a shout; a real shout, not something from Blaine's dreams.

Mom.

He had known it already, before he had heard her, although she hadn't allowed herself to get angry around Blaine in years. Normally she was so bright and happy, her emotions dancing in golds and emeralds, all twirling catherine wheels and firework fountains.

Blaine slipped out of bed, glancing at the clock. It was only eleven thirty, but Blaine had fallen into bed straight after dinner. His parents must have tried to wait until they thought he was deep asleep before they tackled the conversation he had watched them hold back while they ate.

Guilt that was mostly his own swelled in his throat. It was always him. He was always the cause.

Softly, Blaine crept out into the hall and began to make his way step by step towards his parents' voices, until the undecipherable blur became distinctive words. They were downstairs. He let his hand ghost over the banister for a moment, before making up his mind. He couldn't go back to bed, he wanted to know what they were talking about, he _needed _to know, because what if they were talking about Dalton? Whatever his dad had promised earlier that afternoon, Blaine wasn't so sure, especially not after the past week.

Ever so quietly, Blaine descended the staircase, his bare feet chilled on the wooden boards. Halfway down, when the voices were all but crystal clear, Blaine sat down on a step, looping one hand to grasp at a banister pole, leaning his temple against it. His gaze fixed on the closed door to the lounge. The defensive anger was stronger here, fireworks bursting behind his eyes so brightly that he had to squeeze them shut and try to find his dad in the mess of emotions.

A cool undercurrent rose from underneath the bursts, a steady breeze that dispersed the scalding sparks. When Blaine had been younger, maybe nine or ten, his doctor had become concerned at how easily Blaine allowed himself to slip into other people's emotions, falling so quickly and so deeply that sometimes very little of Blaine himself was left. So she had devised a technique that Blaine now entirely depended on.

Instead of allowing other people's emotions to fill him, to invade him until there was no way to separate one from the other, himself from the world, Blaine gave them form in his mind. The abstract infiltrators became fireworks, rain, wind, forests, wolves. They were real, and they were not his own. And if they were not him, he could ignore them, dismiss them. He could still be Blaine.

While he had made his mom fireworks, crackling against a clear night's sky, his dad was a strong, sure presence, like wind rushing through the branches of an ancient forest. Cooper's emotions were fluid, a bright sweep of a myriad of colours, like brushstrokes of paint on a canvas, while their grandfather was like dust floating in the rays of an afternoon sun.

Everyone Blaine was close to, he took care to create an emotional identity strong enough and different enough that they wouldn't overwhelm him, or at least, so that he would know that they were. It was harder with people he didn't know, strangers on the street, kids in school hallways, even his new teachers. He wasn't familiar enough with them to know how his empathic senses absorbed their emotions, and in large numbers Blaine constantly felt like he was fighting a never ending battle to keep his head above water, as waves and waves of unwelcome hate, sorrow, even happiness and passion, crashed over him, pulling him under, drowning him.

Unless he was with Kurt, of course… Because Kurt _was_ the ocean, and with Kurt, Blaine knew he could never drown.

"-Cooper should have told us!"

"Cooper did exactly what he thought was best for Blaine, Emily. God knows, at least Blaine's been talking to someone about this!"

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe that after all that's happened you still want to send our son back to that damn school!"

"And where would you send him?"

"He could come back _home_, where he's safe and doesn't have to deal with-"

"With what?" The wind picked up in a burst of frustration as Blaine's father cut over whatever argument his mom had been trying to muster. "Doesn't have to deal with being a teenager? With having friends? With actually having a damned _life?_"

"You know that wasn't what I was going to say. Don't talk to me like he's not my son as well, John!"

"Well now you know how I felt when I had to hear from _Cooper_ how the only reason Blaine wanted to go back to school was because he found a brochure for Dalton in the study and I know damned well I didn't order it!"

Silence. Blaine held his breath, his grip on the pole tightening almost unconsciously. "W-what? I… oh no…"

The fireworks fizzled, weakly popping as the burning dregs flickered with intermingled guilt.

"_That's_ the reason he didn't want to be home schooled anymore. Not because he was being stubborn or because he was trying to pull away from you, but because he was terrified we were planning to send him away." The trees bent in the wind, disappointment, worry, exhaustion forcing the boughs to creak. "Why did you have it, Emily? Blaine was doing fine. I know I was always saying that it might be good for him, to get back out into the world, but it should have been his own choice, made at his own pace."

Blaine's stomach roiled with dark emotions that he knew were his own. His dad's voice sounded so tired, and his mom's… he hated it when she cried, especially because he always seemed to be the cause…

"He's _sixteen_, John. Dr Monroe told us what to expect… She _told_ us the home schooling wasn't a permanent solution. You weren't with him all hours of every day like I was. He was so _quiet_, and so hard to read, and when Cooper went home after last Thanksgiving, he just got worse. I could _feel _it; the isolation was starting to wear him down…"

"So you thought _Dalton_ would be the solution?" His father's voice was incredulous.

Fireworks crackled, incensed, irritating Blaine's already tense nerves, "It's not the same, and you _know it_."

Blaine's stomach clenched and suddenly he couldn't _breathe_. Detachedly, he knew what his mom meant about the months leading up to Christmas. While home schooling had begun as a sanctuary from the world, it had gradually mutated into an empty aching pressure in his chest, as he went through every day feeling like something was _missing_. Each morning became harder, and he found himself persuading him mom to let him come with her to the supermarket, or to the mall. Even just sitting on the seat in the big bay window of the lounge, stretching out his senses to brush at a stranger's emotions as they walked by...

His family wasn't enough anymore.

"Blaine. Why don't you join us?" His dad called, breaking through Blaine's rapidly spiralling thoughts.

Blaine's mind juddered to a halt, and he swallowed guiltily. His dad knew, he _always knew_ when Blaine was there… It was really infuriating.

He padded down the rest of the stairs, pushing open the door. His dad was standing near the fireplace, while his mom was sitting on the large plush leather sofa. "I'm sorry…" He mumbled, not sure who to look at. His dad's face was impossible to read, while his mom was wiping the tears from her cheeks, as her own, more powerful guilt overlapped Blaine's.

He had a really bad headache.

"No, sweetheart," his mom murmured as she stood and walked over to him. Blaine watched her with tired, pleading eyes as she paused, shaking herself slightly and taking a deep, focussing, cleansing breath. And then she smiled, gently wrapping him up in her arms. Whatever darkness she had been projecting had been pushed down deep, and as he buried his face in her shoulder, breathing in the familiar flowery scent of her dark curly hair, he felt himself calm. "I'm sorry we woke you."

Blaine shrugged, unwilling to leave her arms and continue the conversation.

His dad seemed to read his thoughts, dropping his hand to rest against Blaine's back, "We're not angry, Blaine. Really. We just… why didn't you tell us why you wanted to go to McKinley? We would have still supported you."

His mom pulled back slightly so she could look at Blaine properly. They were almost the same height, Blaine only a hair taller, and her bright blue eyes easily locked with his hazel ones. "You know how we feel about telling the truth in this family. We're just sad because you felt like you couldn't."

Blaine didn't really trust his voice, but he wobbled his way through his defence anyway, "You di-n't tell _me_ the tru-uth. I t-thought you were sending m-me awa-ay!"

Soft sadness floated its way through Blaine's body, a mixture of everyone in the room. He felt fingers carding through his loose curls, and a gentle warmth as his father pressed a kiss into his hair, "We're never sending you away, bug, don't ever think that."

His mom nodded, "I know it might seem sometimes like we're making choices without you. You're our son, and we love you so much, and we only ever want you to be healthy and happy. But I promise, when it comes to the big stuff, we will _always_ talk about it with you. Sweetheart, we would never dream of sending you to Dalton without at least talking it through with you first. But, I'm your mom and you know how I worry about my boys." Her teasing tone drew out a tiny smile from Blaine, even if her voice was still clouded with previous tears. "I need to think about every possibility, you understand, don't you Blaine?"

"Yeah…"

She smiled, kissing his forehead, love blooming in the contact. "So, no more secrets?" Blaine nodded.

"And no more putting your brother in the middle?" His dad added wryly.

Blaine ducked his head, "I won't, I'm sorry."

"Good." His mom smiled softly, "Now, I think you need to go back to bed, don't you? And tomorrow, you can tell me all about this Kurt of yours."

"Mo-_om_…" Blaine groaned, the tight feeling in his chest finally easing with the sparkle of teasing fondness that tickled at his skin. "He's just my friend."

"Of course he is, sweetheart." Her tone was entirely placating. "Come on, bed. Is Molly upstairs?"

"I think so." Blaine nodded, suddenly overtaken by how sleepy he really was.

"I'll go check." His dad went off ahead of them, as Blaine climbed the stairs with his mom more slowly, her arm still wrapped around him.

By the time Blaine was settled back into bed, his dad had returned with an armful of grey fluffy cat, which he deposited on top of the comforter. Molly stretched languidly, before taking her time to knead the bedspread, finally settling her warm weight down next to Blaine.

"Good night Blaine." His parents closed the door, and he let himself lie in bed, thoughts drifting as he absently listened to the noises of the house. His hand found Molly, fingers burying into the silky fur.

Content. Sleepy. Good.

The simplistic cat feelings seeped up Blaine's fingers and into his bones, washing away the complexities that had been draining his senses and muddling his mind. As he kept contact, peacefulness returned to his body, turning the horrible exhaustion into a lulling tiredness.

Molly didn't move, happy to rest next to her human until his breathing evened out, and his fingers grew lax with a deep sleep.

TBC

Author Notes: So now we have Blaine! I hope you enjoyed reading about how he senses emotions! (Hope it made sense too :P ) Until next time! xxx


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Blaine yawned widely as he meandered into the kitchen the next morning, Molly balancing precariously on his shoulders, her claws catching in the fabric of his pyjama top.

"Good sleep?" Dad was sitting at the kitchen table drinking his morning coffee while reading the paper.

Blaine nodded, "Uh huh."

Molly jumped delicately from Blaine's shoulders to the countertop and began to nose curiously at his hand as he slathered strawberry jam all over his toast. A gentle nudge of fond amusement tickled at his senses. "Ah. Someone's not awake yet. I see how it is."

"Good morning sweetheart." Mom breezed into the kitchen, pecking Blaine on the cheek. He smiled at the warmth that bloomed from the contact. "No cats on my work surfaces please, you know the rules."

Blaine grinned, biting into his toast, "Sorry Mom." He scratched Molly's ears, feeling the feline annoyance as she obediently jumped to the floor.

It was funny. Blaine had been given Molly a little over two years ago now, when she had been a tiny little kitten bursting with joy and life, able to fit snugly in his hands. He had always been able to sense her emotions, and she had always helped him regain balance when he had bad days – or bad weeks as had been the case this time. But as she had grown older, it was like she was able to read Blaine just as well. She always knew what he needed, and was always there for him, without fail.

He knew his relationship with his cat was very unusual, but for that, he loved her all the more. Only people with very high ES levels could sense the emotions of animals, and even then, only domesticated breeds; cats were the stereotype, but dogs were also perceptive enough as well.

There was still a stigma behind it, even in today's modern society. In the 17th Century, the witch hunts had led to the persecution of high level empaths, many targeted because they kept feline 'familiars', and that superstition had lingered through the centuries that followed. It was different, outside of the norm, and people hated it.

Blaine would never forget the time when he had been five years old, playing with a mangy local stray cat in their backyard. It had been a scrawny, ugly thing, but he remembered the friendly, attention-seeking greeting. He also remembered the _horrible_ jarring mix of terror and anger when his mom found him having a one sided conversation with the stray's emotions, with as much eloquence as a five year old could muster.

He remembered bursting into tears and apologising over and over, before his mom had even let half her emotions show on her face, let alone open her mouth.

She had chased the cat away, and his parents had argued that night. Loudly. Hurtfully. He was taken to the local Sense Clinic the next day, and diagnosed within the week.

But his parents had grown and learnt, along with the rest of his family, and Blaine most of all.

It had only been two years, but he couldn't imagine a life without Molly now.

"So, your dad and I were talking, and if you're feeling up to it, we thought that this weekend we could ask Kurt and his parents round for dinner."

Blaine froze, his toast halfway to his mouth, "Huh?"

Careful calmness shrouded his senses, and he could tell that his parents were being extra cautious with their emotions this morning. It helped that Molly had stayed with him all night, and that they had all had that conversation before bed, _and the fact that Kurt had stayed all afternoon.._. He felt more rested, more stable.

"Well, we thought that if Kurt was going to be around a bit more, and if you're going to be around him, then maybe we should get to know him. And…" Fireworks crackled in a nervous _snap_ and the wind swirled, "And maybe we should also think about telling his parents. It's a big secret to ask your friend to keep."

"I… I…" Blaine stuttered, his stomach squirming. It had been hard enough to tell _Kurt_… "I haven't even met his dad…" And Kurt's dad would tell his stepmom, and his stepmom would tell Finn, and Finn would blab to the kids at school, and everyone would _know!_

His rising panic had clearly projected, because Dad was over to him in a second, strong, sure hands resting comfortingly on Blaine's shoulders, "Breathe, Blaine, just breathe. It's okay. We were asking you for a reason."

"I just… I don't…" He had woken up feeling so _good_ as well. But now reality and what might happen on Monday, and _god _ he hasn't talked to Kurt properly since he told him the truth and what if he hated him and-

A bottle-brush tail swished softly against his leg, and strong hands continued to rub reassuringly at his arms while more delicate fingers brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. His thoughts began to slow, edging back away from the cliff he had nearly toppled off. When his breathing had evened out to his parents' satisfaction, his mom dropped a light kiss into his hair. "It's okay, it's always your choice who to tell. Just finish your breakfast, sweetheart. Don't forget that we're driving to Columbus today."

Blaine groaned. He had forgotten. Completely. He was due to meet with Dr Monroe at the Columbus Sense Clinic; they had scheduled it to be a month after Blaine had started back at school, a check up to see how he was doing. Although most decent sized towns in the USA had their own Sense Clinic, Blaine needed most specialist care, and so since their move to Lima, it meant a really long drive. Dr Monroe had been treating him since he was diagnosed, and while she was really nice, it didn't mean that Blaine had to like to sessions with her.

And so Blaine found himself in his room an hour later, gelling his hair while he chatted out loud to a disinterested Molly – she was far more invested in her staring contest with next door's dog from her perch on Blaine's windowsill, "-and it's not like she'll say anything different, either. Oh my god… what if she asks about Kurt? What do I say?" He wandered over to the window, looking down at the cheery mutt watching them from next door's back yard. "I think he likes you."

Molly was superiorly disdainful.

"_Blaine! Five minutes!" _ Dad called from downstairs.

"Coming!" His reply was interrupted by his phone. The caller ID flashed Kurt's name, and he fumbled to answer, "Hello?"

"_Hi!_" Kurt's voice was, was _happy?_ Or maybe just friendly. Or possibly falsely enthusiastic. Phone calls gave Blaine a headache. They were really difficult; he could hear the voice but couldn't read anything. Kurt probably loved them, because they worked in his favour, but for Blaine… engaging with people without emotions present was just plain weird. At least with Skype he could see the other person and read their emotions by watching facial expressions. Phone calls were so much harder to interpret. Like texts, but worse. _"I just wanted to call, see how you were doing after, you know, everything yesterday._"

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, I'm better. Are you… are I mean, how are you, I kinda just… I'm sorry, and I don't know I…" Blaine stumbled over his words badly, his head already spinning. He hated this. Normal short phone conversations like ordering pizza or arranging a meet up were fine, but stuff like this… he _needed_ to know what the other person was thinking, feeling, doing. The patient (if it was patient) silence while Blaine's tongue tripped just made him more and more nervous.

"_Hey, hey calm down are you okay?" _Kurt's voice sounded concerned, worried, confused, sad, happy, angry, annoyed?

Blaine wanted to scream. This was horrible. "I don't really like talking on the phone…" Blaine's words tumbled out in a fast rush before he could second guess himself. "I can't feel…" He trailed off, hoping Kurt would get the idea.

But instead of simply understanding Blaine's predicament, there was a long pause and a sharp intake of breath. "_But… I don't understand… why would that make a difference with me?" _Confused, cautious, irritated, impatient? _"Wait… Blaine, can you… can you feel..?"_ Hurt, fury, hatred, disgusted, fearful, repulsed, distrustful?

Blaine didn't know, he couldn't tell, he _didn't want to know_, "I have to go Kurt, sorry, doctor's appointment in Columbus. See you at school bye." He said it as fast as he could; hanging up before Kurt could say anything else, throwing his phone onto his bed as if it was a poisonous snake. He retreated to the windowsill, wrapping his arms around himself. The cell began ringing again immediately, but Blaine let it go to voicemail. As soon as it stopped, it started up again.

"Blaine? You ready to go?" Dad poked his head through the door, frowning. "Hey, you okay?"

Blaine nodded vigorously, "Yeah, let's go."

A sweep of doubt, a niggle of uncertainty, tingling concern settling, "Not going to answer that?"

"We'll be late, Dad, come on." Blaine ignored him. Just as he ignored his phone on the bed when it fell silent again for the third time.

As he walked out of his bedroom, he heard it beep cheerily with a text. He kept walking. He had already messed everything up with Kurt for good. No point reading about it.

Because now he understood. Kurt had always assumed that Blaine couldn't feel his emotions, the same as everyone else at school, but that unlike them, Blaine just didn't care.

Except that wasn't quite true, not really. Kurt was different, yes, but not silent, never silent, not to Blaine.

And now Kurt knew that, there was no way he would want someone as freaky as Blaine near him…

TBC

Author Notes: Hi guys! I'm so sorry this took so long to get out! Bad time keeping, all I can say as an excuse! Sorry it was shorter than usual too, but I felt this was a good place to stop. Hopefully we'll be going back to an update a week now! Love you all! x


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The Columbus Sense Clinic was huge, a large too-chic annex to the main general hospital. Blaine hated it. He hated the clean lines, the attempt to make a calm atmosphere with a lick of white paint and a few chrome accents.

And worst, absolutely worst of all, he hated the divide.

The clinic had three entrances. There was the one for regular check-ups and appointments, where Blaine was directed, one for drop-ins, usually new parents bringing their kids, and the last one, for emergency intake. Of course, the divide was entirely necessary; lead-lined, the walls separating the three distinct areas of the clinic afforded its patients a certain level of control. It shielded young children getting tested from too many people. It isolated patients whose Sensitivity was severely affected by some sort of virus or illness. And it kept regular visitors like Blaine from being overwhelmed.

Or at least, that was the idea.

And sure, it worked. As Blaine sat on the plush leather sofa, he could stare at the wall in front of him and not sense a thing. Just his parents passing time chatting to the friendly receptionist, and the fluttery little nurse doing some paperwork behind the desk. No one else. No indication of what was going on elsewhere in the clinic. Sure, it was peaceful, but it was also so _unknown_.

Or rather, what made it worse for Blaine was that it wasn't unknown, not really. Because he had been on the other side of the divide, and not just as a young child getting tested for the first time.

"Hello Blaine!" A door opened to the side, a door that lead to a corridor that lead to the other side of the divide, where people's emotions were screaming and crying and burning and stabbing…

He cut himself off. Stop it. Stop it now.

But he couldn't help it. And with all the things that had happened with Kurt, and school, and life in general… Blaine didn't have the energy to pretend that the Clinic didn't freak him out a little bit. The only plus side about fretting over Kurt was the distraction it had offered him during the long car journey.

Why had he left his phone at home? At least then he would know for certain, at least then he could just cut all ties and hide away again.

"Blaine…" A spark of worry, a crackle of resignation.

Blaine blinked, glancing at his mom, before back to Dr Monroe. She was still smiling, unwavering. He liked her smile. It didn't hide anything, it just _was_. Of course it probably helped that she had undergone three years of sense training tagged onto her medical degree, but her presence always made these appointments just that little bit less horrible.

"Sorry. Hi." He offered what he hoped was an apologetic, positive smile. He could already tell by Dr Monroe's expression that she wasn't buying anything.

"Alright, shall we go inside?"

Blaine held back, for a second, watching as his parents started to follow his doctor into her office, the same way they had done countless times before. He knew the drill. They would all talk about his progress – or rather, his mom would talk at Dr Monroe for half an hour while his dad gave his occasion input. And then there would be the physical check up, followed by a brief question and answer session with Blaine while his parents sat on, offering their silent presence.

He hadn't planned it. He had no idea why he even opened his mouth, and he wasn't sure where the words were coming from even as the request was tumbling out. All he knew was that this is what he _needed. _ A prickling certainty and, "I want to go in by myself."

Immediate, jarring offence, concern and confusion emulated from his parents and flooded Blaine, nearly sending him to sit back down again. To her credit, his doctor didn't even flinch, although he thought there was a flicker of resigned sadness lingering underneath the sweep of his parents' emotions.

"Is that a good idea?" His mom's response was so predictable it was nearly laughable.

"If that's what Blaine wants." His dad wrapped an arm around his wife, cutting her off before she could put up and proper fight. "We'll wait out here, won't we Emily?"

She wasn't happy, Blaine could feel it. Neither was his dad, but at least he was more comfortable to take a step back when Blaine asked for it.

Blaine avoided his parents' eyes as he trailed after his doctor. He wasn't even sure why he had asked…

"So." Dr Monroe started as she waited for Blaine to sit. Her office was sparse but welcoming; it didn't make a forced attempt to enforce calm. "Is everything okay at home? You've never had a problem with your parents joining us before."

"I d-don't…" Blaine stumbled. Was it wrong? Should they be here?

"Okay Blaine I need you to just take a pause, okay? You're over thinking again."

Blaine did as she asked, sitting down in the armchair across from his doctor. He focussed on the silence, on the gentle wash of _calm_ that Dr Monroe projected subtly into the room to help him. When he felt that he had centred himself, he looked up to meet her patient, attentive gaze. "I just wanted to do this by myself." That was the simplest way of putting it, as far as he could figure out.

She nodded, her blonde hair catching in the afternoon sun as it covered the room in a warm glow. Blaine felt himself relax. He was safe here. "Okay. And why do you think that is? It's perfectly okay, of course. You're an old hand at these little visits, and you're sixteen. It's understandable."

Blaine shrugged, looking down to his hands. "They just worry a lot. I know this is just a normal check-up, just to make sure everything's going okay now I'm back at school, but…" He trailed off, and silence lapsed, but Dr Monroe didn't say anything. She just waited. Calm, warm, lulling… "I messed everything up."

And she didn't deny him. She didn't ignore his claim as exaggeration or teenage angst. She just nodded, "Did you want to talk about it?"

"Will you just repeat everything to Mom and Dad?" Blaine asked dully.

"No, Blaine. I won't. Because you are a minor, I will have to talk to your parents and give them my assessment of your progress. But whatever you tell me, I promise, I will not repeat outside of this room."

And that was all the reassurance Blaine needed to let it all spill out. He repeated everything he had told his dad the day before, and Cooper before he left, and his fears about Dalton and how he was worried his mom thought he was getting worse. He also told her about his new school, about how horrible the first week had been, about how scared he was but also how happy. About the glee club, and how he wished so much that he could join.

And about Kurt, and how Blaine had single-handedly ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him, because he was a freak and that's what he did.

"-and now… now I'm going to have to go back to like it was_ before _Kurt, and I don't know how… I don't know how I can deal with that school without him, without being, being able to _touch_ him… To touch another person who isn't obligated to not freak out because they're related to me!" A flicker of gentle admonition and Blaine groaned, burying his head in his hands. "I know, I know, they're my family and it's not an obligation… But sometimes it's just nice to get a hug from someone who's not related to me without there being a risk of me having a complete meltdown, or them… or them…" He choked. Even after two years, he still couldn't say it out loud.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting that, Blaine. It's perfectly natural, especially at your age. The love of our families is unconditional and always supportive, but often that isn't enough."

Blaine snorted, "Yeah, except I'm not natural."

"Really? I had no idea you were grown in a laboratory. I should update your medical records," Dr Monroe deadpanned.

Her easy dismissal drew a small smile from Blaine's lips. "I just… for one night, I thought that Kurt was okay with me. I thought Kurt understood…"

"Blaine I'm sure it's not like that… You said you barely talked to him this morning. You at least owe it to yourself – and to him – to talk about this face to face." A brush of sympathy, and a twist of curiosity, both blended together in an odd combination that made Blaine's toes itch. "How low exactly _is_ Kurt? Do you know?"

"I don't… it's not my…" Blaine fidgeted. Sure, she was his doctor, but this was _Kurt_. And even if Kurt hated him now, he wasn't going to spill his ex-best friend's Sensitivity. That was _private_.

"Okay, I won't push for exact details. Can you at least give me an idea? Below one?" A nod. "A lot below one?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Shouldn't you be weighing me or checking my blood sugar levels or something by now?"

Dr Monroe stared at him hard, for a long time. As sense doctors were trained to manipulate their emotional projections, Blaine had no clue what she was thinking. "Talk to him face to face, Blaine. Please. And yes, we should move onto your actual examination before your parents try to barge in here to rescue you."

The rest of the session passed in relative quiet as Blaine spent his time thinking over his doctor's advice. He allowed himself to be poked and prodded. He let her take blood samples and tut over his slightly below-average weight. And he sat there in uncomfortable muteness while his parents were given a brief rundown of his current state, which was thankfully as positive as he could really hope for under the circumstances.

He was doing okay, although he should eat more. In addition, while she needed to do the blood tests to be sure, she was worried Blaine might be a little anaemic. Still, it was to be expected at this point in his development so there wasn't a great cause for concern just yet. It was important to keep stress low, and to try and increase the regularity of daily physical contact if possible to help with stability. However, there was no reason as yet why Blaine should return to home schooling, and with any luck he would find that he would settle into it, although she would like to see him again in two months. Sooner, if something came up in the blood work.

Blaine had drifted through most of the doctor's spiel. It wasn't like he was a stranger to anything she was saying, and if he zoned out slightly there was less chance of being invaded by his mother's jittery, overwrought emotions.

She was still upset with him for making them both wait outside. She was trying to not project, but she _was_, and it just made Blaine's stomach twist with even more squirming unpleasantness and unaccountable _nerves_ than it already was.

This mangled ball of iron and steel that took up residence within him didn't disperse after they left the Clinic, or on the too-quiet drive home.

But it did wrench and claw when the car pulled into their street and his mom broke the silence of the car, "Who on earth is that?"

There was a jarring swell of an emotion Blaine struggled to identify. It came from his dad, he knew that much, and it also worked to soften the metal inside him, carefully loosening the knots. "Blaine, I think you have a visitor."

"W-what?" Blaine's head jerked, slightly disorientated by the need to look outwards into the world instead of dwelling inwards.

Kurt. What the… Why was Kurt sitting on the Anderson porch? Why was Kurt standing up as the car pulled into the drive, his outfit wonderfully arranged, his hair as perfect as usual?

This wasn't right. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen.

Blaine hadn't had any time to think of a way to talk to Kurt about everything without it turning into a horribly embarrassing word vomit. He hadn't prepared an explanation. He didn't want this conversation to happen yet! He wasn't ready.

_He wasn't ready to say goodbye._

"Good afternoon, Kurt. We weren't expecting to see you." Dad smiled easily and warmly at Kurt. Blaine didn't know what Kurt's face looked like. He was determined to look anywhere but.

"Yeah, sorry to just drop by like this, Mr and Mrs Anderson, but I just wanted to talk to Blaine, if I could?"

"It's nice to meet you, Kurt." Mom's voice was faint, but she collected herself well. Her emotions made Blaine's head spin, too rapid-fire to identify, and too-quickly smoothed over by a breeze of warm welcome from Dad.

"Well don't let us stop you. Why don't you guys go sit out back? It's a pretty nice afternoon for spring."

Blaine nodded dumbly. He couldn't move. Every muscle in his body was tense, a precursor to some sort of primal fight or flight response that was still undecided.

One moment too late, Blaine tried to pull away, because suddenly Kurt was _right there_, and his hand was slipping neatly into Blaine's own, his skin cool.

Blaine held his breath, waiting for it. Waiting, waiting. Waiting for an ebb of rejection, a swell of hate, a sucking betrayal trying to pull him under…

It never came. Kurt's hand remained in Blaine's, solid, peaceful. Gentle waves of positive emotions lapped at the shores of Blaine's mind, but never washed too far inland. Present, caressing, but never drowning, never flooding. Just there, a welcome presence of Kurt. Calm.

"Hi." There was a soft sadness to Kurt's voice, but the positive outlook never wavered.

"Hi." Blaine managed to mumble quietly.

"Are you going to look at me? Or are we just going to stand here in your drive for the rest of the day? I've already given your neighbours quite a lot to gossip about…" His wry tone drew a tiny smile to Blaine's lips.

"How long have you been waiting?"

"Well, when my best friend casually drops in that he has to go to the freaking doctor's, drops a massive bombshell about being able to _sense me, _and then refuses to answer his phone all day…" Kurt's tone dropped from sarcastic to slightly sheepish, "Let's just say I might have over reacted slightly. Come on…"

Kurt pulled Blaine gently by the hand, guiding him around the side of the house. Blaine could feel his nerves settle. Kurt was still touching him. Kurt wasn't running away!

"It wasn't anything serious, the doctor's. It was just a long drive. We'd had the appointment booked to check up on me, just to make sure I'm going okay being back at school and stuff…" Blaine felt the need to explain, to fill the quiet, now that he knew Kurt wasn't outright angry at him, "I left my phone at home. I… I freaked out. I thought, I thought after last night that you _knew_, and when I found out you didn't…"

"What?" Kurt sounded genuinely confused, but then he huffed. "Blaine. I am not having this conversation with the top of your perfectly gelled head. _Look at me_."

Kurt sat them down on the low step that separated the back patio with the lawn, and Blaine took a few seconds before finally, _finally _looking at Kurt's beautiful, open face, and connecting with those gorgeous ocean eyes. "I thought you'd freak out… once you knew that I could sense you, I thought you'd freak and yell at me and stop wanting to be near me, or, or _worse!_"

The hand that slotted loosely in Blaine's gave his a slight squeeze. "And what do you think now?"

Positive. Calm. _Here_.

"That I can be an idiot?" Blaine offered tentatively.

"Right." Kurt agreed with a smile dancing in his eyes and on his lips. "I'm not going anywhere Blaine. We freaks have to stick together."

"And you're not weirded out? That you're not silent to me?" Blaine had to know, he needed to put his last doubts to rest.

Kurt smiled shyly, "No, Blaine, I'm not, I promise. But… if it's not too weird for _you_, I… I'd really like you to tell me what it's like… to hear me. To hear everything. You're my best friend, and I want to know _you_."

Blaine swallowed, a slow blush creeping up his cheeks. He bit his lip, unable to stop the stupid wide grin plastering itself across his face, "O-okay…"

So he told Kurt about the ocean. He told him about the shore, and the waves, and the golden stars that danced on their waters.

And Kurt never let go of his hand.

TBC

Author Notes: Hello! This chapter was SUCH a pain to write, but it's finally out here! Hope there wasn't too much medical boringness for you all... Until next time! xxx


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Blaine sat in the wide, empty auditorium, fingers skimming absently over ivory keys. Most of the time the doors were locked, or the huge room was all booked out and full of students. But every so often, he had the place to himself. Just him, a piano, and a cavernous silence to fill.

He loved it.

A warm feeling ghosted up his spine, a split second warning before Kurt slid into his peripheral vision. "Is that a new song?"

"Hey." Blaine smiled, his hands dropping to rest comfortably in his lap. "It's not a song really, just something I was messing with. Glee practice over?"

Kurt slipped in next to Blaine on the piano bench, their shoulders touching as the other boy's soft presence brushed reassuringly at the edges of Blaine's senses. "All done for the day. Drama and all. Where were you? You're feeling okay, aren't you? Just I thought you said you planned on joining us again."

It had been a little under two weeks since everything had come bursting out into the open between them, and Kurt was honestly amazing about it, but that didn't stop him worrying every now and again. Blaine shook his head, "I know, I'm sorry. I'm fine though, I promise. Did you guys do okay without me?"

"Yeah, Brad was there for once. And don't worry about it. Sure, I love having you during glee, but you're not a singer. You're not going to face Schue's wrath if you miss a practice," Kurt smirked wryly. Blaine had been playing piano for the glee club for a while now. He was good – good enough to sight read what they wanted him to – and it was either that or have Rachel Berry stalk him for the rest of the school year. She hadn't left him alone once the fervour of Regionals had died down, and he had decided that in the long run, it was probably just easier to go with it.

He wouldn't sing, but he would still help. And spending even more time with Kurt was just a happy bonus.

"I really did mean on joining you today, I swear." Blaine grimaced. "I even got as far as the choir room. But then Rachel came in and just, wow, _no_."

"Ah." Kurt nodded sagely. "You picked up on the Rachel-logic step of 'my boyfriend nearly breaks my nose so this is the perfect opportunity for a nose job!' then did you? Yeah, we all sat through that today."

Blaine blinked. "Well, that explains a lot. She didn't tell me. Her emotions were really negative as soon as she entered the choir room, and then my nose just _would not stop itching!_ I thought maybe it had something to do with the physical pain she was in, but obviously not…"

Kurt burst out laughing, "She made your nose itch?"

"It's not funny!" Blaine argued back defensively, although it was hard to keep a smile from quirking at his lips. "Have you _any_ idea how annoying it is to have an itchy nose without there being anything you can do to stop it, because it isn't even your itch?"

"How does that even work?" Kurt snorted.

"I don't know, it's like an obsession, I guess. Rachel was insecure and couldn't stop thinking about her nose. It made my nerves twitchy. It's like last week when the cafeteria ran out of tater tots. Half the school was going through a serious craving, and I actually had to get my mom to go and buy some for dinner that night because I couldn't stop _wanting_ them. And the worst thing is I don't even particularly _like them!" _Blaine ranted, hands gesturing emphatically.

Kurt patted his knee sympathetically, "Maybe we should keep you away from Rachel until she gets over this. I like your nose, and I don't want you do to anything rash like joining Rachel in some creepy plastic surgeon's office."

Blaine found himself blushing slightly at Kurt's offhand comment, his stomach squirming pleasantly. "Thanks. I umm… I like your nose too. And mine, I do like mine, even when it itches and I really don't want it to change…"

Kurt laughed as Blaine babbled like an idiot again, bumping their shoulders, "Come on. I'll buy you coffee."

And if Kurt's cheeks were slightly stained with rose from the compliment, Blaine liked to hope it wasn't just his own wishful thinking.

* * *

Blaine put a considerable amount of effort into avoiding the glee club's drama that week. It was always pretty off the wall, but this week was shaping up to be especially intense, with far too much self-analysis and self-loathing for Blaine's comfort. It made him nervous and uncomfortable, as he became increasingly unsure of his ability to separate his own emotions from those of his classmates.

Kurt was of course unwavering, a steady calming presence, and not just for Blaine either. It seemed like everyone else's meltdown was giving Kurt a sort of empowerment and sense of self-worth. Blaine had always seen it in him, of course, but it was nice to see Kurt embracing how amazing he really was, rather than letting himself fade to the background.

Of course, this inevitably reached its climax in the choir room towards the middle of the week. Blaine had decided to join the practice, partially to try and show support for his new friends, but mostly because Kurt had been a particularly strong and calming presence that day, and Blaine felt stable enough to sit on the sidelines and watch the drama unfold.

And by drama, Blaine meant watching Kurt tear into Mr Schue with words so sharp he was surprised the teacher wasn't a bloody mess on the floor.

"I. Don't. Care." Kurt pronounced in his precise, cold tone. "I don't care if this is me being selfish or diva-ish. You cannot just stand there and preach about acceptance and believing in ourselves while at the same time refusing me because of what I am."

"Kurt, I understand your frustration, but you have to understand-"

"No Mr Schue. _You_ understand. I will never sing and physically fill an audience with my emotions. But so _what?_ I can sing, and I am freaking _amazing!_ You are discriminating against me for something I can't control, for how I was _born! _And I am sick of it."

"Yeah, Kurt's right Mr Schue!" Finn joined his support. "His voices rocks, why don't you ever let him have solos?"

"It is very hypocritical of you." Quinn nodded primly.

"I don't see why Kurt can't do the song opening." Even Rachel lent her voice in support, although she did quickly follow it up with, "After all, we have to make sure that we support the weaker members of the group, and the best way to do that is with songs we're not going to use at Nationals."

"Don't even go there, Berry. I will destroy you." Kurt snapped back.

Mr Schue seemed torn, but before everything could descend into a bloodbath, Miss Pillsbury stepped neatly forwards. She had been helping the club with that week's assignment. "I think it's a wonderful idea. What better way to celebrate difference than have one of our own especially unique students sing for us?"

And that was the end of the matter. Blaine was both ecstatic for Kurt, and happy that it meant they could both get out of there. And after the news, Kurt just seemed to glow with joy. The sight made Blaine's stomach squirm pleasantly, and his heart beat that little bit faster. He was going to get to watch Kurt open and perform in a massive number, rather than just hideaway in the background. Considering how incredible Kurt was as a backing vocalist… Blaine knew he was going to watch Kurt _shine_.

Unfortunately, this opening solo also meant that Blaine didn't get to see much of Kurt the next few days, or even after school. He was rehearsing endlessly, determined that his performance would be flawless. Blaine found it lonely at times, but he understood how important this was to Kurt, and how excited he was.

Nevertheless, when during Friday lunch break Kurt pulled Blaine into an empty classroom, Blaine was so happy to have Kurt's hand in his own once more.

"Okay, so… I need your advice." Kurt sounded nervous as he closed the door and perched on the edge of one of the desks, worrying his hands in front of him.

Blaine frowned, pulling out a chair from under another desk and taking a seat, "Of course, Kurt. You know I'm always here."

"I just…" Kurt sighed, frustrated. "You're the only person I know who will _understand_… I can't ask the girls about this."

"Kurt, whatever it is…" Blaine trailed off, hiding his nerves as they wriggled like worms in his chest.

"It's the t-shirts." Kurt blurted out.

Blaine blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"The t-shirts. The ones we have to make to wear at the performance today. They're supposed to say the part of ourselves that we've accepted and learnt to love…"

"Right…? Kurt you're going to have to help me out a little here."

Kurt twisted, pulling his bag around on his shoulder, and removed a bundle of white cloth. "Well, I made mine. I made… I made two. But I'm not sure I'm brave enough to wear the one I want to wear."

"Kurt, you're the bravest person I know." Blaine refuted quietly, honestly. "Show me? Please?"

"This is the first one I thought of." Kurt pulled open the first shirt, shaking it out to show Blaine the large letters emblazoned in bold on the front.

**LIKES BOYS**

Blaine grinned, "Well, it's definitely you."

"It is…" Kurt agreed slowly.

"But?"

"Well, okay, yes it's a big part of me, and yes, it makes me different. But… I've always accepted it, you know? It's never been a massive issue at school because my ES level kept the bullies away, and my Dad… well he's always been amazing about it. Yes, it's me, and yes, it makes me special, and I'm proud of that. But… I think a part of me will feel like I'm cheating, if I wear it." Kurt looked down, slightly fiddling with the material between his fingers.

"Okay," Blaine said gently, rising to his feet to take the t-shirt from Kurt's hands, setting it on the desk next to them. "And the one you really want to wear?"

Kurt's hands were shaking slightly as he unfolded the other t-shirt. Blaine's breath caught in his throat and his stomach tightened in terror when he saw what it said.

No words. Just a number.

**0.5**

"I know." Kurt murmured when Blaine didn't say anything for a very long time. Because Blaine _couldn't _say anything. Because Kurt was proposing broadcasting his ES level to potentially the entire student body of McKinley, if the school's rumour mill was as rampant as Blaine knew it to be, and that was just _terrifying._

"Kurt…" Blaine choked, "W-why would you… Just… why?"

"Because it's _me_." Kurt shrugged simply. "I know that they're meant to be something secret, something private, but are they really? It's not like the entire school can't make a pretty damn good guess. I'm just sick of it hanging over me. I'm sick of one little number, one tiny abstract measurement defining me, defining my life and how other people treat me. I don't want that anymore. Since I met you, Blaine, I have never felt so alive, so human. I guess you finally made me realise that my ES level doesn't have to control my life if I don't let it."

The passion in Kurt's voice. The sheer conviction… Blaine couldn't bear to tell him what he wanted to say. He wanted to beg him not to do it, he wanted to ask him to wear the other t-shirt, the simple one. But he couldn't, how could he?

Kurt wasn't Blaine. He wasn't weak, he wasn't pathetic or broken. He was a force of nature.

What happened to Blaine wouldn't happen to Kurt; he really believed that, deep down. If only because Blaine would be there, along with the rest of the glee club.

"You're amazing." It wasn't any kind of advice, pointing to one decision over the other. It was the best, most truthful answer Blaine could give.

Bec- Manage Storiesause Kurt had already made up his mind, Blaine saw that. He had just wanted to share it with Blaine first.

And it was then that Blaine decided that if Kurt could be brave, then so could he. Maybe not quite so bold, but certainly more than he had ever dared to do at this school.

The performance would certainly be one to remember.

* * *

Blaine tugged nervously on his buttoned up cardigan as he settled himself in the front row of the auditorium. The lights were low, the curtains down. While he knew what song the glee club were performing, he hadn't sat in on any of their rehearsals.

This had been such a _stupid_ idea. Why had he put it on? He couldn't even just leave it hidden, because Kurt would _know_. They all would! It wasn't like the cardigan was that long, and the white cheap cotton of his t-shirt underneath was plainly obvious. But he had wanted to be a part of something, he had wanted to support Kurt in his bravery…

_Idiot._

It's not too late. Leave. Leave now.

But Kurt… Kurt's solo, his big reveal… Blaine couldn't leave. He wouldn't.

Music suddenly swelled, and Blaine's head snapped up. When had Kurt walked on stage?

And when the hell had Kurt ever looked like that? Because… wow, okay. Definitely less nervous now.

Kurt was so _confident_. So breathtaking and incredible and gorgeous and yes, Blaine was definitely in love with his best friend and he was so, so screwed…

Then Kurt opened his mouth, and Blaine's breath was punched from his chest.

_**Courage.**_

The emotion flooded Blaine with the force of a tsunami, rising to a swell of light as Tina and Mercedes joined their friend on stage.

_**Pride.**_

Kurt was amazing. He was perfect, and beautiful, and his _voice_…

_**Hope.**_

This was why Blaine loved to watch the New Directions.

_**Strength**_**.**

This was why he loved music. The way it weaved a delicate path along his nerves, thrumming in his chest in a way that blended so perfectly with his own heartbeat. The way the emotions threaded their story through the voices of the singers, Kurt's the most powerful of them all.

_**Love**_**.**

Love to dance. Love to sing. Love people. Just love. It filled Blaine until he found himself standing, unable to help himself, a grin plastered across his face. His whole body sang with the energy of his friends, and the bravery they showed as they accepted everything that they were. Everything that their friends were.

_**Defiance.**_

No one had even blinked when Kurt's t-shirt had been revealed. No one balked to dance near him as the emotions swelled high.

_**Confidence.**_

Blaine was nearly dizzy as he suddenly found himself on stage. But then Kurt's strong arms were looped solidly around his torso, and his feet were steady again. For a moment, the pair of them existed in their own little island, as Blaine removed his cardigan to reveal the t-shirt he had borrowed that afternoon.

_**Joy.**_

The song built within and without; louder, higher, faster, stronger.

_**Power.**_

And when it finally dropped away, and the group were standing there laughing, Blaine just allowed himself to fall back slightly against Kurt's chest, giddy and grinning like an idiot, all nerves forgotten.

"I can't believe you stole my shirt." Kurt grinned at Blaine, breathless from the performance.

Blaine shrugged with a smile, glancing down in half disbelief at the words **LIKES BOYS **on his chest. "It seemed appropriate." Was that flirting? Had he just flirted with his best friend while half slumped in said best friend's arms?

"Hey Anderson!" Puck yelled from across the stage, his voice drawing attention from the others as well. Blaine jumped slightly, pulled from his bubble. He automatically tugged at the long sleeves of the top he had worn underneath his t-shirt to cover his hands. "Nice of you to join us."

_**Acceptance.**_

TBC

Author Notes: Hi guys! As ever, thank you for your continued support and lovely reviews! This will probably be the only episode-related chapter in this fic, but the opportunity was too perfect to pass up! Hope you liked! Until next time xxx


	12. Chapter 11

**_Warnings: discussion of past dub/non-con, but nothing worse than the content of the episode Never Been Kissed._**

Chapter Eleven

"Are you sure you want to come?" Kurt worried his lip between his teeth. It was the third time he had asked since he had picked Blaine up.

Blaine rolled his eyes good naturedly, "I am. Really. You're going to be there the entire time, I feel great, and… I don't know, it's really nice to be asked? It's like I'm almost normal."

"You are normal." Kurt responded automatically. He pulled his car into Rachel's drive. Mercedes and Tina were already here by the looks of it; the girls lived on the same street, and had both been planning to arrive in Mercedes' car.

Rachel had taken it upon herself to have a 'team-building' sleepover in the run up to Nationals, and had invited all the girls around her house. Kurt had automatically fallen into the same category in Rachel's mind, and then Santana had insisted that seeing as Blaine had recently outed himself to the group at their recent performance of _Born This Way_, he had to come too. Kurt hadn't liked the way she had eyed them both when she had issued that particular demand – the fact that the unholy trinity had agreed to come _at all_ made him particularly suspicious – but Blaine had been really excited to be included, and had persuaded Kurt to let it go after much cajoling. His parents weren't letting him stay the night, but it was a step in a really positive direction for him.

Blaine was determined to be normal. He could do this. One evening surrounded by the New Directions girls without anything going wrong, or him acting like a freak, or his stupid Sensitivity going haywire. One evening.

In hindsight, Blaine could only bitterly marvel at how stupidly naïve and optimistic he had been. He should know better by now.

Everything had started off great. Blaine made sure to stick close to Kurt, and not to let his skin touch any of the girls' in case their emotions set him off. There were snacks and drink (of the non-alcoholic variety, much to Santana's disgust), and even some impromptu singing.

However, inevitably conversations of shallow topics were exhausted rather quickly, much to Santana's delight and Rachel's chagrin. This had resulted in everyone sitting in a circle, and Blaine's intense desire to be swallowed up by the carpet never to be seen again.

He wrapped his arms around his knees, drawing them close to his chest. He was sitting between Kurt and Tina, carefully placed perfectly in the centre between the two of them, not touching either. Kurt didn't look impressed at the sudden change in topic. He hadn't minded when they had been all watching Quinn as she skilfully made Rachel as uncomfortable as possible, but now the girls had moved onto a different subject.

First kisses.

"When I kissed Mike for the first time, it was so _right, _you know? Like with Artie, it was good, but there wasn't anything there." Tina smiled, her reminiscing emotions sparkling through Blaine, loosening the horrible knot that had formed within him. "I thought it was all a load of crap, that stuff about your first kiss _clicking_, about it being something amazing. But it just turned out I hadn't found the right guy."

"I don't believe in that soulmate myth, but I agree that there has to be that first connection. It's all about emotional compatibility." Quinn nodded sagely, before adding snidely, "How was your first kiss with Finn, Rachel?"

Rachel blushed deeply, but returned primly, "I believe that kind of thing is private, Quinn, thank you."

"Well I think it's all rubbish." Mercedes shook her head. "Don't get me wrong, I'm all for that connection. But I'm not gonna turn down a boy just 'cause he don't make my Sensitivity turn on some light bulb in my head."

"Says the girl who's single." Santana smirked. "What about you boys? No first kiss stories to share?"

Blaine's breath caught in his throat, his muscles tensing. Don't speak, don't speak. The intense desire to run flooded his body, and all this talk of first kisses, and connections and sparks… it wasn't something he wanted to think about right now. It wasn't something he wanted to revisit, not in front of all these people.

He wanted to look to the future, and okay, maybe kisses and Kurt might feature heavily in those dreams, but that wasn't what he was thinking of right now.

Kurt scowled darkly, "Yeah, sure Santana, let's look at my love life shall we? We all know that I've never kissed anyone." The other boy was actually angry, Blaine could tell.

"Seriously? You're telling me that you two haven't got it on yet?" Brittany blinked at both of them matter-of-factly, her flighty emotions skittering like ribbons of light against Blaine's skin."What have you been _doing?_"

"What about you, Blaine? You got virgin lips too? Or have you got some sort of reputation pre-McKinley that you're keeping from us?" Santana persisted, her curiosity pressing down on him, suffocating, cloying, and full of a purpose Blaine couldn't identify.

The instinct in Blaine snapped, and he was on his feet before he could even blink. He couldn't breathe; the air in the room was thick, burning his throat and stinging at his eyes. He managed to mutter something about his parents coming to pick him up soon to Rachel, before dashing up the stairs from the basement.

He stumbled out into the cool night air, swaying slightly as he managed to bring himself to a halt on the porch. Belatedly, he realised that he was standing outside the Berry household in nothing thicker than a cardigan, and was missing his shoes.

The air wasn't burning anymore, but his eyes were still stinging, his vision blurred.

A hand caught his arm, and Blaine flinched violently back, wrenching his arm away as he staggered backwards, eyes wild.

Kurt was standing there, staring at him with a look that was a horrible mixture of concern and hurt at Blaine's reaction.

_Freak._

"Hey. Are you okay?" Kurt asked carefully.

Blaine shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. His throat was too tight, and it just wasn't _fair_ because stupid gossiping about _stupid_ first kisses shouldn't do this to him! He was _over it!_

"I know Santana can be a bit of a bitch, but I don't think she meant to upset you." Kurt's voice was soothing against Blaine's raw nerves. The other boy cocked his head slightly, quirking a shy smile. "I think she's got too much time on her hands, so keeps trying to meddle in other people's love lives a little too much. Blaine… look, I haven't ever kissed anyone either. It's not like there are that many boys in Ohio who fit the requirements, and on top of that there's my ES level. But it's something I accepted a long time ago, and I know there's nothing to be ashamed of. So please don't hide from me."

"Amy Fleming." Blaine surprised himself with his words, but they had just spilled out unbidden.

"I'm sorry?" Kurt asked, confused.

"I have kissed someone before. Amy Fleming. She was my best friend for ten years, we were neighbours, we went to school together, and when we were fourteen, she kissed me." Blaine's voice sounded hollow to his ears, and maybe that was appropriate, because that was precisely how he felt. It was as if all emotion had been sucked from him, leaving behind only an empty shell of a boy.

"Really?" Kurt's voice was cautious, wary, as if he wasn't sure how to equate the simplicity of Blaine's words with the other boy's behaviour. "A girl? Is… is that how you realised you were gay?"

Blaine shook his head. This was a bad idea, opening old wounds. He didn't want Kurt to know, he didn't want to tell him. He wanted to go home.

But in the back of his mind, a little voice crept, whispering conviction, because if Blaine was honest with himself, then he knew for a fact that he desperately wanted to kiss Kurt, preferably sooner rather than later. Except he couldn't. Not yet. Not with this secret hanging over him. Kurt had to know, because then he could decide if he wanted to kiss Blaine in return.

Kurt shivered, "Do you want to go back inside? If I'm cold, your feet must be freezing off! We don't have to go back downstairs, we can stay up here and talk, if you like."

Kurt was so patient, so kind, so warming… Blaine shouldn't tell him. But he should. "Can we sit in your car?" If he was going to do this, then he wasn't going to let anyone overhear. Besides, this way he wouldn't have to look at Kurt while he spoke.

"I… sure, of course Blaine, whatever you want." Kurt was clearly worried. Blaine felt guilty. That was all he ever seemed to be doing; worrying Kurt.

Kurt fished his keys out of his pocket, closing the Berry's front door behind him as he led the way back to his car. Detachedly, Blaine was grateful there wasn't any gravel. Settling in the car, Kurt turned the heating on low to make them a little warmer, before twisting onto his side to lean his shoulder against the back of the driver's seat, drawing his legs up beneath him.

Blaine in contrast kept his body stiff, hands folded neatly in his lap, a little island all of his own. He stared at a random spot on the dash, determined to just get it all out in the open as quickly as possible without revisiting any of the old memories.

It was only words. A story. A nightmare fable that happened to a nameless boy.

"I came out when I was thirteen to my family, but it was a while before I had the courage to tell anyone else. I was scared, I guess. But Amy was my best friend, we told each other _everything. _She… she even knew my ES level. Our families sat her down and explained what it meant. So, so I told her."

Blaine's stomach twisted. He remembered being so nervous. Telling his family had been one thing; sure he had been terrified of rejection from them, but there was something extra scary about telling your friends. Because family, you don't have a choice over, but friends, they always say friends are the family you choose. Amy had been his family.

"She… I don't think she really understood. She didn't talk to me for days… and when she did, she was… it's hard to describe, but I could feel it. She was empty to me. Things got better as the weeks went on, but sometimes things just felt off. And then, then my school advertised a dance. A Sadie Hawkins dance, you know it?"

"Girls ask the boys." Kurt filled in quietly, his voice unreadable.

"Right. By that time, the whole school knew I was gay. I hadn't wanted to hide myself, even when Amy's initial reaction had been less than great. But then she asked me to go with her. As friends. She gave this big speech, apologising for her reaction, saying how she hadn't seen it coming, and had needed some time to adjust." Blaine smiled hollowly. "I remember being so happy, and of course I agreed."

Her dress had been black, he remembered that, with a yellow silk flower twisted up into her hair. He could remember her face, every detail. Her smile, her laugh…

Her lips, her hands, her attraction, her scream…

"We had a great time, and then near the end of the evening, we went outside. There were a few other kids there too, waiting for rides or just making out where teachers wouldn't see. And then… and then she started saying all these weird things…" Blaine's voice choked, and his hands twisted. Until suddenly Kurt's hand was there too, his warm fingers entwining with Blaine's. Calm. Breathe.

"Blaine…" Kurt didn't have more to say than that. Maybe he didn't know how to continue.

Blaine wasn't even sure he did, but somehow he managed to get the words to form. "Did you know there's a cure for being gay?" His question came out more biting than he intended. "It's all about emotional manipulation, about finding the 'afflicted' the _right person_."

"_**You're just confused, Blaine, I **_**know **_**you, this isn't you. I promise, I can help you. Please let me help you… With an ES level as high as yours, there's a real chance for you!"**_

"That's insane." Kurt wasn't able to hold his tongue at that. The very idea that being gay was something that needed to be 'cured' was repulsive enough, let alone people using the empathic sense to manipulate such a thing.

"Amy didn't think so. She kissed me to try and prove it."

_Hands, lips, skin, heat. _It crawled over Blaine's skin as if it had been yesterday. Her lips pressed to his, her tongue was forcing its way into in his mouth, and Blaine's senses completely blurred. What Amy felt, he felt, and what she made him feel, so she sensed back in turn. Building and building and building to a crescendo, both of them locked in a feedback loop of uncontrollable emotions and rising lust.

"And I kissed back. I remember that much. I couldn't help it. And what's worse, is I remember liking it. Except, I didn't, it was _her. _It was all her, all her desires, all her emotions, and I was just… lost. Gone. I don't remember anything more than that." Blaine shrugged. "They told me later that Cooper pulled us apart. He had come home for the weekend and insisted on chaperoning the dance. Apparently as soon as we broke contact, I just started screaming. That was my first empathic episode. They had to put me in a medically induced coma for two weeks until my brain chemistry stabilised…"

"Oh my god, Blaine…" Kurt's voice was choked, and Blaine finally risked a glance. The other boy was still beautiful, even with tears running down his cheeks, his pale skin red and blotchy. "I had no idea… I mean, I guessed something must have happened for you to start homeschooling but I just figured… I don't know… nothing like that…"

"I wanted you to know." Blaine murmured softly. He felt oddly liberated, telling Kurt everything. His friend nodded, swallowing harshly, and Blaine's phone buzzed in his pocket. "My dad's going to be here soon… I should get my shoes… Thanks… thanks for listening…"

"It wasn't real." Kurt blurted out suddenly, just as Blaine twisted to get the door handle. He rushed to clarify, his voice fierce. "I mean, yes, it was real and horrible and should never have happened to you… _especially _you. But it shouldn't count. Not as your first kiss. You shouldn't let it count. Like you said, it wasn't you."

Blaine's throat tightened, Kurt's words sitting warm in his chest. The air in the car seemed to freeze for one breath of a moment, before it shattered, and Blaine shrugged helplessly. "I'd like to think that's true."

He got out of the car, leaving Kurt behind.

TBC

Author Notes: Hi guys! Sorry this chapter took longer than usual! The content of this chapter has been with the story since the very beginning, so I really wanted to get it right! Thank you for your continued enthusiasm and love! xxx


	13. Interlude: John

Interlude: John

John held the front door open, keeping a painfully careful distance as his son followed him into the large house, Cooper trailing in after them both. He set the holdall of clothes down in the hallway amidst a veritable mountain of unpacked cardboard boxes and anonymous bubble-wrapped items. "Here we are."

Blaine didn't say anything, and what was worse, John didn't expect him to. He had begun to give up hoping.

It had been a little over a month since his youngest son had _finally_ opened his eyes. That image of Blaine would be seared into his father's memory until the day he died. His tiny body, swallowed by off-white hospital sheets, his dark hair a messy contrast that only served to emphasize how sallow his skin was. And the wires. So many wires, tubes, drips. Beeping machines, monotonous in the too-quiet hospital room.

John had always known that Blaine's teenage years would be hard, but he had never expected… _none _of them had… If Cooper hadn't been there…

The worst part was how it had happened. Of _who_ it had been, to trigger Blaine's first episode. They had been so careful, so prepared. John had lost count of the amount of pamphlets and preparatory sessions with doctors the family had sat through. They had been warned to look out for possible triggers, or signs that Blaine might be falling too deeply into his empathic sense. When children such as Blaine hit puberty, it was anyone's guess how their senses would adjust and change.

But Blaine was fourteen, and had until now barely shown any signs of distress. The careful regime of loving contact and touch the family had established when he had been diagnosed had kept him so stable that they had actually begun to believe that he might be that one in a million chance. That he would beat the odds.

They had begun to forget that Blaine's ES level essentially made him a ticking time bomb.

And now that time had run out.

The doctors had been full of false cheer and positivity, of course. _Blaine's only fourteen, an episode such as this is scary, but manageable… The coma is for his own benefit, there is no lasting damage, you needn't worry, we know what we're doing… There are some excellent facilities for children like Blaine, where he can live like any other child his age… Has Dr Monroe ever mentioned Dalton Academy to you?_

Their simpering smiles and false sympathy made John feel ill just thinking about it. He had been so glad to get Blaine home, even if it wasn't the home any of them had known.

Prior to the incident, the family had lived in a town very close to Columbus, where John worked. It was a lovely family home, and neither Blaine nor Cooper had known any different. But John would be damned if he allowed Blaine anywhere near that town again, with its poisonous memories and painful dead friendships. He had wanted to move out of Ohio completely, but that option hadn't been viable. The Andersons trusted Blaine's doctor at the Columbus Sense Clinic, and if Emily was going to quit her job as a middle school teacher to home school Blaine, John needed to stay in his high-paid job.

Which brought them to their new home, in Lima Ohio. They had done as much as they could in the time allowed, balancing staying with Blaine in the hospital against uprooting their lives, but the family was still essentially living out of boxes.

"Blaine! Sweetheart, it's so good to see you home!" Emily swept into the hall, a positive burst of happiness, tainted by an undercurrent of worry, despair and anguish. His wife had never been very good at controlling her emotional projection around Blaine, but it had never been a real issue until now.

"We made good time from Columbus." John said casually, pretending that he didn't notice how Blaine flinched back before his own mother could touch him, or how Emily faltered at the last moment, her arms stuttering uselessly in midair.

Not only had Blaine stayed silent since he woke up, but he also refused touch. Any attempt to get near him was met with at best quiet rejection, and at worse, horrible wordless screaming. The first few days after he had been woken had been nightmarish, as nurses and doctors were forced to act against his screams just so they could treat him.

That was until they realised that his older brother was exempt from Blaine's terror. The doctors speculated that it had something to do with Cooper's role that night, but to be frank, John couldn't care less. All he knew was that his eldest son had stepped up magnificently, and that if it wasn't for Cooper, Blaine would still be in the hospital's care right now.

Cooper tried to save them from the painful moment, "Something smells great, Mom, is that dinner?"

"I…" John watched with a heavy heart as his wife forced herself to look away from her youngest son and pull a smile onto her lips to answer Cooper. "Yes. I was just about to dish up. You boys head into the dining room."

No one moved. Everyone was waiting for Blaine. John reached out with his sense to try and get some kind of read on him, but there was nothing. Just a dark cloud, an empty chasm of nothingness, a listless disconnect.

Blaine shuffled his feet, looking down, and then up towards the stairs before folding his arms across his body and hunching into himself.

John had never felt so helpless as he felt his heart break in tandem with his wife's.

Cooper slid around them, carefully placing himself in full view of Blaine before ever so slowly bringing his hand up to rest on his little brother's shoulder. There was a visible intake of breath as Blaine clearly struggled not to react, but he didn't flinch away. "Or I could show you your room? We've only set up the furniture and stuff – Mom thought you'd like to sort it out properly yourself until you're feeling well enough to start up with school work again."

Blaine bit his lip, glancing for a moment to his parents, before nodding and following his brother up the stairs.

As soon as the boys were out of sight, Emily crumpled. "Oh god I can't do this."

Panic, self-loathing, failure, terror, anxiety… all of her emotions slipped through John's fingers like water, too fluid to grasp, too slippery to fully take on board.

Burying his own fear down deep, he wrapped his arms around his wife. She clung onto his shirt, her breath shuddering as she tried to stop herself from succumbing to tears. "I thought once we got him out of that, that _place_, he would be better, but _god…_ I can't even hold him! He's my baby and I can't touch him without _hurting_ him!"

"I know, honey, I know…" He could only murmur empty placations. That was all he was good for, all he had been able to do since they had got the call from Cooper that night to tell them what had happened. "We'll think of something, I promise. Blaine is stronger than this, you know he is."

He felt her nod softly against his chest.

Now if only he could convince himself.

* * *

"What are these?" John stormed into the bedroom, throwing the offending items onto the bed as if they were poisonous.

His wife stared at them for a moment, and then turned a steely gaze to him. "Don't look at me like that. Don't try and pin me as the bad guy. You can't tell me you haven't been thinking about this too."

"About sending our son away? No! No I haven't!" He knew he was yelling. He knew Blaine might overhear them. He didn't care.

"They can help him there! We're not doctors John, we're not specialists! We are so out of our depth here and-"

"We're his _parents!_ We're better than any damn doctor or specialist!"

"Well that's all very well and good for you!" Suddenly Emily was on her feet, screaming, her emotions setting fire to the air between them, "You're not with him every day of the week! You get to go to work; you only have to deal with him on the evenings and weekends, on his _good days!_ I'm with him every second of the damn day and I can't take this anymore!"

John stood there and stared. The last time he had seen Emily lose it like this had been when Blaine had been diagnosed.

Her hands shook as she ran a hand through her hair, as she covered her mouth in an attempt to stem the tears and take back the screams.

Finally, he managed to draw together enough words to speak to her without saying something he might have regretted. "I won't talk to you about this right now. But I also won't move on this. We'll figure something else out. I think maybe you need a break. Go stay with your sister this Friday for a long weekend. I can work from home."

She didn't say anything, so he turned on his heel, dumping the offending prospectuses in the bin on his way out.

He didn't fail to notice the crack in Blaine's door where his son was peeking out. Their eyes connected, but there were no emotions exchanged.

Empty.

And then Blaine just slipped slowly, silently, back into his bedroom.

John sighed, and followed.

"Blaine?" Blaine was curled up on his bed, legs folded neatly underneath him, hands cradled in his lap, head bowed. "I'm sorry you had to hear that. Your mom's just a little… stressed at the moment. Can I sit down?"

Blaine nodded, hunching further. "_My fault..._" The words were a mumble, a bare breath of a whisper, but this was Blaine on a good day. Before Cooper was forced to return to New York by his parents, he had at least managed to coax Blaine into speaking in few, precious words. Touch was still forbidden though, even after three months.

"No, no bug, no. It's not your fault." John desperately wanted to take Blaine into his arms and just hold him, but he couldn't.

So he did what he always did, and talked. "You missed the game last night. It was a great one, right from the start, let me tell you…"

* * *

This was either going to work miracles, or end horribly, possibly even in divorce when his wife returned from her trip with her sister.

Except every time that horrible thought crossed John's mind, he only had to think of their argument, and Blaine's face afterwards. He had to try. At this point, he was willing to give anything a go, even if there was only the tiniest possibility that it could help.

The idea had been planted in his head a few weeks ago. He had been talking to a work colleague, Robert Pierce. A great guy, with a daughter of his own, who also happened to be slightly above the norm on the Hawkins Scale. She was nowhere near the level of Blaine of course, but it was enough that sometimes things could get hard for the poor kid.

Somehow they had gotten to talking about their children, and while John was very tight-lipped when it came to talking about Blaine, he had been happy to share about Cooper, and Robert was a very open, chatty person. He clearly loved his daughter, and was a lot more liberal with his conversation topics that John tended to be, especially since Blaine's episode.

"_It was my wife's idea. Don't get me wrong, the damned creature gives me the creeps most of the time, and sometimes listening to Britt talk to it like a person is a little disconcerting, but it's unbelievable how much it helps. Way I figure, they're our kids, you know? And what's the point of living in the twenty-first century if we still hold on to these ridiculous superstitions?"_

"Blaine?" John knocked softly on Blaine's bedroom door. The woman had just left; he had paid her extra to deliver when he had visited her earlier that week. Blaine still wasn't stable enough to be left alone for any period of time.

Blaine was sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes. He slept a lot more these days, although John was unsure how much of that was being a teenager, and how much was hiding from the world. He blinked up sleepily at his father, but didn't voice a greeting.

John sat down on his son's bed. "So. I know things have been hard, and I know you find it hard to be close to your mom and me a lot of the time. We don't blame you!" John rushed to reassure Blaine, "But I thought you could use some company; someone who you can touch and hug and not worry about."

Blaine's brow creased, and there was the barest flicker of confusion in the dense grey smog of nothingness that normally shrouded him.

John reached into his sweater, and pulled out a tiny grey ball of fur. The little kitten tumbled gracelessly onto the comforter, voicing a disgruntled mew, her tail twitching.

Blaine stared unmoving at the tiny creature as she shook herself and blinked her bright blue eyes, surveying the room and the big people. And then she twitched, hopping forwards to bump her nose on the back of Blaine's hand, mewing again, more persistent this time.

"I think she wants to play." John murmured softly, unable to keep a smile from his lips as the bold little kitten began to try and explore Blaine's lap. "She's all yours. You'll have to think of a name."

The kitten tumbled accidentally off Blaine's lap, but righted herself immediately. John watched as this time, Blaine held out his hand to her. She batted his fingers with her paw and Blaine, Blaine _smiled_.

It was the tiniest quirking of lips, the smallest bright ember of happiness. But it was _there._

He even introduced himself to the animal, as if she could understand every word. "Hi kitten. My name's Blaine."

The kitten just started trying to eat the sleeve of his pyjama top, but Blaine's smile widened, as if she had replied.

So when, two days later, John greeted his wife back into the house with a kiss on the cheek, all he had to do was beckon her silently to the living room.

He would never forget the overwhelming flood of emotions that crashed over Emily, when she saw Blaine.

He was by no means his old self, but he was _Blaine, _more than just a living shadow. He was their son, sitting crossed-legged on the rug, playing with a piece of string and a hyperactive kitten, a smile on his face.

"Blaine. Your mother's home." John prompted, breaking into the bubble of boy and kitten.

Blaine's head snapped up, but his smile stayed where it was, softer, shyer. "Hi Mom."

John hung back, watching as Emily walked around the sofa and sunk to her knees in front of their son. "Hey baby. I see we have a new house guest."

Blaine nodded, scooping up the wriggling kitten in his hands, holding her out. "Molly, this is my Mom." The little grey kitten mewed, batting a paw into the air, before worming her way out of Blaine's grip and landing back on the floor. She immediately began stalking the discarded string.

But Blaine kept smiling, softly, shyly, the little ember of happiness had begun to warm to a spark.

And as he watched his overwhelmed wife sitting on the floor with their youngest son, a kitten tumbling between them, John actually began to hope that things might get better.

TBC

Author Notes: Hey guys! So so sorry this took so long! I've had half written for a week but the second half just wouldn't come for ages! Hope it doesn't disappoint! Love xx


	14. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Kurt had never had a friend. Not a true, _best_ friend. Not a person who was always there, always ready to listen, to talk to, to hug and laugh with.

He had thought he didn't need one.

Until Blaine.

And sure, when he and Blaine had first started to hang out, there had been the novelty, the happiness, _the secret what if of something more_, the warm feeling of knowing someone was _right there._

But Kurt had never realised just how much of a difference Blaine's arrival had made to his life.

Until now. Because ever since the party, and their chat in the car when Blaine had probably let spill a lot more than he had ever intended, Blaine had been avoiding him.

And _no, _it wasn't in his head. It wasn't just Kurt being paranoid or oversensitive! It wasn't just because Blaine had trusted him with something so, so big, and all Kurt had done was sit there with his mouth open, offering stupid words and useless phrases until Blaine ran away.

The others had noticed it too. Admittedly, the girls had probably been clued in that something might be up between him and Blaine when, after Blaine had left that night, Kurt had stormed back inside and tore Santana to pieces for her persistent harassing of Blaine. But still, even they noticed how Blaine might turn up to practice bang on time, and flee as soon as it was over. They noticed how he would sit ever so carefully, perfectly neatly, a measured distance always between himself and Kurt.

And that's possibly what made it even worse for Kurt. That Blaine was all at once _right there_, but so far away. He could be all bright, fake smiles and bouncing energy, but at the same time, so dull and grey. So cautious.

Kurt couldn't take it anymore.

"I thought I'd find you in here."

Blaine jumped out of his skin, stumbling to his feet in a backwards momentum, legs catching on the piano stool. "Kurt! I thought, I thought you'd gone home."

Kurt's kept his face purposefully neutral, eyes methodically taking in Blaine, standing alone in the choir room with one hand pressed flat into the wood of the piano, as if trying to anchor himself. Blaine looked nervous and, perhaps, a little bit guilty. Practice had finished twenty minutes ago, and the school had emptied out, but Blaine had clearly looped back around after dashing out straight after practice.

"No. I've been wanting to talk." Kurt tucked his fingers halfway into his jeans pockets, leaning his hip against the piano. He hadn't realised until he spoke just how _sure_ he was. He needed this limbo to end. He needed to know once and for all. He needed Blaine to be honest, and tell him what was going through his head.

He needed Blaine back, and he wasn't going to allow avoidance for a moment longer.

"Oh." Blaine's voice was small, resigned. His feet shifted unconsciously while his fingers tapped out a nervous rhythm against the piano top. "Okay."

When it was clear the other boy wasn't going to offer anything more, Kurt ploughed on before he lost his nerve, "Look, Blaine. I… I've missed you. I hate this, I really do. I don't know if we're fighting, or maybe you're angry at me, but something is clearly wrong."

"No!" Blaine blurted, eyes wide and scared. "Kurt, how could you think I'm angry at you? Of the two of us, you've done _nothing_ wrong!"

"And you have, is that what you're saying?" Kurt shot back, more harshly than he intended, but he was sick of this running round in circles and the constant wriggly knot in his stomach whenever he thought of Blaine.

"Yes!" Blaine threw up his arms. "No… I mean… I don't know what I'm doing…"

"Then _tell _me. Don't shut me out Blaine, please."

Blaine sat down heavily on the piano stool, "I had to tell you about Amy. I had to."

Kurt sighed, slowly making to sit down next to him, choosing to face away from the piano so he could lean back and look at Blaine properly. Their hips grazed slightly, but for the first time since the party, Blaine didn't pull away. "No, you didn't, but I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me anyway."

Blaine shrugged, and Kurt could tell that he was determined to look anywhere but at his best friend's face. Silence pressed down on them, until Blaine finally whispered, "I made a promise that I'd tell you first. Before I… But then I did and I think I made things worse."

Blaine's words choked on his tongue, and Kurt was confused, "I don't understand."

Blaine took a deep, fortifying breath. "I don't want you to think it's because you're the only one apart from my family who I can stand to touch me; who I can hug, who I can hold hands with, and maybe... Because it's not, that's so far from it that I can't even begin to describe."

Kurt's heart was suddenly in his throat, and he couldn't breathe. He could only stare at the other boy as words unravelled, "Blaine, what..?"

Azure met gold as Blaine finally, _finally_ looked at him. "You are… incredible, Kurt. Amazing. You are brave and strong, and the kindest person I know. I've known since I saw you, and I fell the moment I touched your hand in that hall. It's not because I can, it's because for the first time, I really _want _to. And I… I couldn't bear the idea of you thinking that it's just convenience, or something equally horrible. Because it's not, it's so far from that." Blaine's eyes were questioning, searching. Kurt's mouth was slightly open, because _oh_. Blaine's voice dropped to a quiet, murmured confession, and the truth was finally free. "I think I've been looking for you forever."

All of the air left Kurt's lungs, and suddenly the distance that had haunted them these last few days was reduced to nothing. Moments blurred, and then his hands were at a loss because _Blaine was kissing him!_

Unsure, uncertain, carefully, soft lips connected and the knots in Kurt's stomach tightened and loosened at random. Kurt's brain swam, his eyes falling shut to a joyful, trusting darkness as he lost himself in the kiss.

Time seemed to lose meaning, even if it was barely a few seconds in reality, as every inch of Kurt's skin tingled, and every nerve ending seemed to be hypersensitive wherever he touched Blaine.

Thoughts swam and blurred, touch sharpened and melted, and as Kurt fell deeper into his first kiss, all thoughts of not being good enough, not being sensitive enough, not being right, they all fell away until all that was left was _Blaine_.

And then, tiny, delicately, ever so tentatively, there was a spark. And another, and another and another, a wash of golden stars sprayed across a flood of midnight blue, dancing joyously, nervously, happily, lovingly across his mind's eye.

The stars scattered as Blaine pulled shyly away, a deep blush staining his cheeks as he failed to keep a disbelieving smile from his face. "I… you… umm… Hi."

Kurt just stared at him, slightly dazed. "Hi."

What had…

No.

Really?

"Was that… okay?" Blaine fidgeted as Kurt's rather stunned look made him second guess himself.

It couldn't… Kurt wasn't meant to have a first kiss. Not a real one, not like everyone always talked about. He knew that, he had accepted that, he had…

Kurt surged forward determinedly, hands cradling Blaine's head as he this time kissed him with more purpose. Blaine made a noise of happy disbelief in this throat, his hands coming to rest comfortably at the other boy's waist as tendrils of _something_ tickled at the back of Kurt's mind, caressing him tentatively as he responded curiously in turn.

It was Kurt who broke the kiss this time, and this time, the stars lingered as ghosts for that little bit longer, tingling on his lips. "It was more than okay…" Kurt breathed.

Blaine was still flushed, and it only made him look all the more beautiful. He dropped his hands to Kurt's lap, gently knotting their fingers together in a slow, experimental way. A disbelieving laugh burst from his lips, so golden and happy, "I can't believe I just kissed you in the choir room."

Kurt nodded, only giving himself a split-second to try and stop himself before the words tumbled, "I can't believe I felt you."

Blaine's head snapped up, his honey eyes so wide that Kurt thought they could fall out of his head, "W-what? What do you… _what?"_

"I think…" Kurt shook his head, a happy yet terrified smile tugging at his lips, "I _know_ I did. I…you were there. I could… see you, feel you, but… not like I'm looking at you now. It was… sky… I'm sorry, that sounds so stupid." Kurt shrugged helplessly.

Blaine gaped for a too-silent moment, before suddenly wrenching his hands away, "Oh my god, I can't believe I projected on you! I didn't think, I'm so stupid; I didn't even try to stop myself! I, please don't hate me, Kurt, please I didn't mean to, and I won't do it again, but please don't hate me!"

Kurt lunged forwards in alarm, catching Blaine roughly around the waist before he could scramble away and run off. He pulled him forcibly back down beside him, "Hey! Stop that! I don't hate you, and I would be very upset if you never kissed me again because _Blaine_ that was the most amazing thing I have ever felt and the best thing is, it happened with you! _Because of you!_ "

"But I…" Blaine spluttered meekly.

"No." Kurt cut over him firmly. I know what projection is, I may not have thought I'd need to know about it, but I've sat through the classes, remember? I _felt _you, and I felt me, and it was like… we were together. It was _more_."

"I felt you too." Blaine murmured, a little calmer. "You were in my head, in my heart, under my skin, and on my lips. But you weren't…invading. You just…were. I… I've never felt like that before."

Kurt bit his lip, letting his head drop to rest against Blaine's, their foreheads touching. "What does this mean?"

"I don't know." Blaine mumbled. "But I know I liked it. A lot."

"Me too." Kurt smiled softly, tilting his head slightly to press a lingering kiss to Blaine's cheek, just at the corner of his lips. He felt Blaine smile under the kiss, and hoped he didn't imagine the weak little tug of nervous joy at the base of his throat that wasn't quite all his own.

TBC

Author Notes: FINALLY! :P Hope it was worth the wait, and that you liked the little surprise as much as Kurt! xxx


	15. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Hey!" Kurt poked his head around Blaine's locker, a smile bright on his lips as he watched Blaine's whole face light up with a golden smile, a smile that _Kurt_ put there, a smile that belonged to _them_ and them alone. The knowledge still made Kurt's stomach squirm pleasantly.

"Hey you." Blaine smiled softly, his eyes sparkling. Kurt wanted nothing more than to loop his arms around Blaine's waist and drop a light kiss to those gorgeous lips, but he had to settle for hooking his arm into Blaine's as they began to walk down the hall towards the front of the school. Kurt might afford them both a certain level of protection by his low ES, but he knew better than to push it. Blaine couldn't be by his side 27/7, after all, no matter how much Kurt wished he could be.

"So…" Kurt drew out the words, testing it teasingly as it rolled over his tongue.

Blaine rolled his eyes fondly, recognising Kurt's _I-really-want-something_ voice, "So? How can I help my lovely boyfriend?"

Kurt's heart did a few back flips at that word thrown so casually from Blaine's lips. Their first kiss had been barely a week ago, but it had rapidly been followed by many more. It was as if a dam had broken between them, the last twig of self doubt and uncertainty snapped aside as a flood of new discoveries and feelings rushed in to meet them. "Well… my dad's been… _curious_, lately."

He felt the muscles of Blaine's arm tense ever so slightly under his own, but Blaine's voice belayed no sign, "Curious? About what?"

"You, of course." Kurt grinned, bumping their hips slightly. "I mean, before he was always asking why he hadn't met you yet, and then this past week I think he's been getting a bit suspicious that something else might be going on."

Blaine stopped short, momentarily distracted from his conjured fear of Kurt's dad. "You can sense other people now too?"

Kurt shook his head, "Nope. That's definitely still reserved just for you when we, you know…" He grinned, blushing as he trailed off.

Blaine giggled as they reached Kurt's car, "Kiss? You won't burst into flames if you say the word, Kurt."

Kurt scowled, "Shut up. And stop avoiding the subject. I'm trying to invite you to dinner."

"Oh." Blaine's face fell, all playfulness fled. He hopped into the passenger seat of Kurt's car, no longer looking at the other boy.

Kurt rushed to reassure him as he slipped into the driver's side, slamming the car door behind him to give them a certain illusion of privacy while still in the shadow of the school. "It'll just be the three of us. You, me, and Dad. Carole's got the late shift, and Finn's going round Puck's for dinner after football practice. Please? I'd love you guys even just to meet – I won't even say what we are if you don't want me to just yet."

Blaine's head snapped up, his amber eyes blazing fiercely, "We're not lying to your dad! If I do… if you introduce us, I don't want to just be your friend."

Kurt blinked, a happy balloon swelling in his chest at Blaine's conviction. "Thank you…"

"I just…" Blaine fidgeted. "I know you've met my parents tonnes of times, and Coop. And they all know about us – even if I haven't formally told them I think I gave the game away the night I came back from school after you ambushed me in the choir room-"

"I did not _ambush _you!" Kurt squawked indignantly.

Blaine rolled his eyes fondly, leaning over to drop a casual kiss to Kurt's lips. The touch was too fleeting for Kurt to feel anything from Blaine other than the amazing tingling warmth of his _boyfriend's_ lips on his. "I'm glad you did. And I'd love to meet your dad."

"But?" Kurt prompted, seeing the catch hovering on the tip of Blaine's tongue.

"I just… he's your _dad! _One look and he'll probably _know_, and I'm seriously not wearing the right clothes, he'll think I'm some slob and-"

Kurt burst out laughing, "Oh my _god _you're scared of my dad!"

"What? No!" Blaine spluttered.

"You _are!_" Kurt grinned, unable to stop laughing at the sheer _normalcy _of it all. Normal wasn't something either of them was supposed to have. "Blaine, seriously, you look impeccable, as always, and my dad will _love _you. There's no need to be nervous, I promise."

Blaine huffed, and Kurt knew he had won.

* * *

The door banged, and Kurt twisted, grinning, "Hey Dad!"

"Kurt? You in here?" His dad's rough voice floated from the hall into the kitchen, where Kurt was already preparing dinner. Blaine was in theory meant to be lending a hand, but in reality he was proving a distraction. A drop-dead gorgeous, adorable, welcome distraction, true, but it wasn't helping Kurt prepare his risotto any quicker.

"We're in the kitchen!" Kurt hollered back, grabbing both of Blaine's hands as they frantically went to his hair to check that the gel helmet he insisted on having hadn't sprung loose. As if it could.

His dad's smiling face appeared in the kitchen, usual faded ball cap sitting over his balding head, still in his oil-stained work clothes. "You must be Blaine."

Blaine blinked, and Kurt watched with amusement as his boyfriend assessed the father before his brain seemed to come back to himself and he pulled on his most charming smile, "Hi, yes. It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Hummel."

Kurt didn't miss the way his dad's eyes flicked questioningly to Blaine's right hand, stiffly held out of the way, tight to his body so that there was no risk of being drawn into a handshake. He quickly recovered, "You too kid. Kurt hasn't shut up about you since you transferred to his school. It's good to put a face to the name."

"Dad. Seriously?" Kurt protested.

Burt grinned, his eyes sparkling. "Sorry Kurt. Way I see it, if I can't embarrass my own kid in front of his friends then I'm a failure as a father."

Kurt's stomach lurched nervously. Now. Get it over with. "Actually Dad, Blaine's my boyfriend." Kurt's hand found Blaine's between their bodies.

Burt stared at them both for a second, his eyes slightly wider than they had been. Kurt was sure that he had suspected something, but given Kurt's _condition_, had probably not given it too much thought. Until now.

"I see." Burt's voice was precise and neutral. "Since when?"

A thousand thoughts flew around Kurt's head. What if his dad didn't like Blaine? What if he was only okay with the idea of having a gay son when he wasn't faced with a boyfriend in his own kitchen?

Blaine answered, "Since last week, but Kurt's been my best friend since I came to McKinley. I… Kurt's amazing. And we really like each other."

Burt's eyes were fixed on their hands, joined tightly between their pressed bodies, until finally, "Well, I can't wait to hear all about it over dinner. And get to know my son's first boyfriend. Food smells amazing, Kurt."

And that was that. The dinner turned out really well, and Kurt relished being able to sit there chatting while his new boyfriend and dad got along like a house on fire. Burt had a knack of getting people to relax in his presence. Although Kurt had never experienced that reassurance in the same way, Finn once said how Burt seemed to project an aura of strength and comfort to those around him. No wonder Blaine was so calm and together.

At the end of the evening, with his father giving the pair of them a false sense of privacy by hovering at a slight distance, Blaine placed a chaste kiss on Kurt's lips with a ghost of happiness and warmth. Before he pulled away completely, he murmured softly, "You can tell him. When he asks."

Kurt's eyebrows hiked up into his hairline, "Are you sure?"

"Of course." Blaine's eyes were certain and clear, sparkling with life, the same gold as the stars that danced in Kurt's mind whenever they kissed. He looked over Kurt's shoulder to the hovering father, his voice normal volume again, "It was nice to meet you, Mr Hummel. I'll call you tomorrow, okay Kurt?"

"Nice to meet you too, Blaine. You're welcome for dinner anytime." Burt nodded solidly.

Kurt found himself nodding too, holding Blaine's gaze for as long as possible, his nerves renewed.

"So." Burt opened with, as soon as Kurt had closed the door. "Blaine's nice."

"Blaine's nice?" Kurt parroted wryly.

"Well he is." Burt said defensively. "I just… Kurt, not that I had a problem with it – opposite, in fact –but the pair of you barely let go of each other's hands the entire evening! Did you want to shed some light on what's going on here? Because it took a whole month before Finn could sit on the same sofa as you after he and Carole moved in."

"That's not my fault!" Kurt snapped, his body tensing. It was true, but that didn't mean he liked to be reminded of that.

Burt was across the living room in an instance, his large, warm hands clasping tightly over Kurt's shoulders, "I would never say that it was. And neither was it Finn's. But you gotta see where I'm coming from here, Kurt."

"You can't tell Carole. Or Finn. Or _anybody_. You have to promise." Kurt folded his arms. "It's Blaine's life, and he's trusted me with his secret. His family know, obviously, and Miss Pillsbury I think, but last time it got out Blaine was hurt, and I won't do that to him. He said I could tell you though. He knows I don't like keeping secrets from you."

Burt stared for a second, before nodding warily, "I promise. Though something tells me I'm gonna want to get the number of Blaine's parents."

Kurt took a deep breath, before letting it all spill out in a rush, "Blaine's ES level is 4.8. To him, I'm quiet, but not silent. He can touch me, and I can touch him, and it's _normal_. We're normal with each other, and Dad… I can't believe we found each other. When…" Kurt swallowed harshly, his face going bright red, but he had to force himself past the embarrassment, he had to make sure his dad understood the gravity of what they meant to each other. "When he k-_kissed_ me, I could _sense_ him, Dad. And he could sense me."

He raised his eyes to watch his dad's reaction, watch as Burt absorbed the words of his son, lips slightly parted. Finally, he spoke, his voice hoarse and disbelieving, and… tinged with something else, sadness, hopefulness, loss; Blaine would know. "4.8?" Kurt nodded, words unspoken passing between the father and son pair, because neither needed to utter out loud the connotations of such a high number. Instead, his voice soft and mellow, Burt drew himself up straight, nodding succinctly. "I'm glad you found each other too, kiddo. I really am. You both deserve it."

Kurt smiled, throwing his arms around his dad in a tight hug, "Thanks Dad."

For a moment, Kurt truly felt normal, the shadow that hung in the background seeming faded and small in the strong comfort of his father's arms. He didn't have to think about Blaine's bad days, or the risk he ran every day at school. He didn't have to think about the future. He could just be happy about the stupid stuff, like how well his dad and boyfriend got along, that he hardly had any homework that weekend, and how soon Nationals in New York were.

A gossamer illusion of normality, just give them that.

TBC

Author Notes: I'm so sorry it'd been so long guys! RL had been hectic! Hopefully the next break will only be a week rather than two though... Hope you liked this chapter! Love to you all xxx


	16. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

"Blaine!" Kurt jogged after his boyfriend, frowning slightly when finally Blaine turned around to acknowledge him. "Hey. I called you like three times."

Blaine stared at him for a beat too long before he seemed to shake himself, "Sorry. I'm just a bit t-tired I guess." A yawn punctuated the offending word, before the other boy pulled a dulled yet happy smile onto his face, "How was your weekend?"

They started heading to their lockers, and Kurt's hand found Blaine's fingers, cold in the morning air. He gave them a squeeze, wishing not for the first time that he could sense Blaine through just the grazing of their fingertips. It was getting easier, when they kissed. Kurt was quicker to let go, to feel that spark inside him that was all Blaine. But still, he couldn't help but wish for more. It was like a drug; now he knew what it could feel like, he only wanted more.

"It was pretty good. I missed you though. Skyping isn't the same." They had tried to reach a happy medium without causing a repeat of the disastrous phone call.

Blaine grimaced, "Tell me about it."

"Oh come on," Kurt smiled fondly. "You are getting better at it. And it is quicker than texting."

"Seeing you helps." Blaine conceded, "But it's still really… odd. Not being able to, you know." The words _sense you_ were left unspoken, heavy in the air. They didn't want anyone to know, _especially_ anyone at school. Because if people knew that Blaine could sense Kurt, that would bring forth a whole slew of questions that neither teenager wanted to face. Kurt's dad was a different matter, and although he hadn't actually asked, he was pretty sure that Blaine had told his family. At the very least, Cooper must know; of that Kurt was certain.

"Now you know how everyone else feels around me." Kurt sniped dryly as a pair of cheerleaders gave them a wide berth. Blaine rubbed his thumb softly over the back of Kurt's hand. "Oh shoot, I forgot I need to grab a book from the library before second period. See you at lunch?"

Blaine smiled amiably, "Sure. I'll text you where." He gave Kurt's hand one last squeeze, his skin now warmed from their hand hold, before the pair of them split ways.

Except…

Kurt wasn't able to find Blaine for lunch, because he was held behind in biology to go over a stupid group project. He managed to fire a text off to let Blaine know though, and got a response (_Don't worry about it! I found Sam – he wanted to practice for glee. In auditorium if you get out xx) _so he wasn't worried.

No, the worry came when he met Blaine after school, looking even more tired than he had that morning. He brushed it off as nothing, and to start with, Kurt let him. They got takeaway coffees from the Lima Bean and went back to Blaine's to (attempt) homework. By the time Kurt had to leave, his face slightly flushed, Blaine was looking much more alert, and the sparking electric attraction that sang through them when they kissed hadn't dwindled. All worry was forgotten.

Until glee practice the next day.

And again on Wednesday, when Blaine had to cancel their cinema plans at the last minute.

By Thursday, he looked ready to drop, to the point where Santana actually called him out on it in glee practice when he played more than one off note during her solo practice. Blaine just mumbled an apology, which only served to annoy the girl even more.

"Drop it, Santana!" Kurt snapped, "You should be grateful you have someone as talented as Blaine willing to accompany you."

Blaine rubbed a hand over his face, which brought a concerned Mr Schue forth from where he was sitting, "Blaine, you okay?"

The hand reaching out to him had Blaine stumbling to his feet and backwards in a tangle of clumsy limbs. He steadied himself on the piano, "'M fine, Mr Schue. Just tired."

The teacher looked unconvinced, as did the majority of the club, but still he pulled back and nodded, "It has been a long week. Okay guys, great job. Don't forget at lunch tomorrow we're going to hear from Mercedes. See you all then!"

Kurt was at Blaine's side as quickly as he was able without being insanely obvious, "Okay, let's get you out of here." Kurt whispered in Blaine's ear, hoisting him by his arm.

Blaine shook his head stubbornly, "I'm fine, honestly. Just tired."

He wasn't fine. A blind man could see that Blaine wasn't fine. Even Santana was starting to look concerned at Blaine's behaviour.

"Hey, Kurt, maybe you should let go of him. Blaine's really don't look so good, and no offence, but touching you probably isn't helping." Mercedes was on her feet, worry shining in her eyes.

Kurt was torn between staring incredulously at his friend and flying off the handle. Blaine made the decision for him, "Well who the hell asked _you?_"

_What?_

Kurt had never heard Blaine's voice sound so… angry and bitter. Not directed at someone else, anyway.

"I…" Mercedes stuttered, as shocked as the rest of the glee kids.

Blaine swayed, blinked rapidly, staring at nothing, "Sorry… sorry, I…" His hand fumbled, fingers finding purchase in the fabric of Kurt's shirt.

Sam was out of his seat. Kurt knew that out of all the kids in glee, Blaine had become the closest with Sam, so why on _earth _did Blaine just flinch in his arms? "Dude you really don't look so good."

"He's fine." Kurt snapped, pulling Blaine closer to him. "I'll drive him home. See you guys tomorrow." He knew that he was being unfair, that they were only worried for Blaine, but Mercedes' automatic assumption that it was Kurt's close proximity to Blaine that was causing his boyfriend to feel bad… The accusation had really gotten to him.

The drive to Blaine's house was quiet, with the other boy leaning heavily against the glass of the window, eyes closed. Kurt kept Blaine's hand in his the whole drive, and couldn't dispel the horrible fear that clenched at him when he felt the tiny tremors under his grip. When he pulled up outside Blaine's house he spoke softly, "Is your dad home? Or your mom?"

Blaine simply nodded listlessly, "I'm sorry."

Kurt's mouth thinned, "For what? For feeling tired? For something you can't control?"

"For screwing up again." Blaine shrugged, twisting to get out of the car.

"Blaine you didn't-" Kurt tried exasperatedly, but Blaine was already making his way up the drive.

Kurt ground his teeth in frustration, jumping out of the car after his boyfriend.

As soon as they were through the front door, Blaine's mother was on them, "What happened?"

Kurt made to answer, but Blaine was already twisting away, shrugging off his mom before she could reach him and making for the stairs, "Nothing."

"Don't you try and pull that line with me, Blaine! Please come back here." Her hands were on her hips in a false attempt at looking threatening, but her eyes belayed her genuine worry.

"No. Leave me alone." He had one foot on the stairs, and Kurt was feeling genuinely confused and out of place. Should he leave? Should he follow Blaine?

He knew what he wanted to do, but looking at Blaine's mom it didn't look like she would approve of the choice.

"Blaine!" A violent hissing rebounded against her raised shout, and Kurt looked over to see a _very _irate cat frozen stiff under Blaine's feet, responding to her owner's emotions.

"No." His voice was cold and flat, laced with a strange resigned anger that Kurt found hard to identify. "Just, for once Mom, leave it."

Kurt watched his boyfriend trudge up the stairs, and even took a step forwards to follow, when Blaine's mother ran a hand through her curly hair, finally seeming to recognise that she had a second teenager standing in her hall, "Kurt, I think you should head home."

Kurt bit the inside of his cheek. He didn't want to leave Blaine, not right now. "But I could help?"

The woman sighed, "Well you can start with telling me what's happened. He's been like this all week – you've been with him, so tell me."

Kurt frowned, "No… No, I've hardly seen Blaine at all. I've had an assignment to get done in my lunch breaks, and apart from Monday, he's been busy after school with family stuff?"

Blaine's mom shut her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose, "No. He's been out. And he _said_ he was with you. Wonderful. Now my son is lying to me."

Kurt didn't know what to say. 'Sorry' seemed a little out of place, and to be honest, he was feeling pretty hurt himself.

A door slam echoed through the house, making them both wince. "I really think you should go, Kurt."

The dismissal was clear.

Nevertheless, despite how hurt he was that Blaine was hiding something from him, Kurt couldn't just ignore Blaine all evening. Minutes, hours ticked, and still no word from Blaine. He could barely focus.

_Text me when you're free to talk? Or if you're not just to say how you are? xx_

_Sorry if I made things worse with your mom – I didn't know you were using me as an alibi._

_That was harsh, I'm sorry. Please let me know you're okay xxxxx_

_Will you be in school tomorrow? X_

_We can talk Blaine please don't shut me out xxx_

Until finally, at a little past ten:

_**I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I didn't say anything but it's not my secret to tell. I'll see you in school tomorrow promise. Thanks for being there at glee today xxxx**_

It didn't explain what had happened today, or even how Blaine had been feeling all week. If anything, Kurt felt even more in the dark.

And further still, in the dark recesses of his mind, where he really didn't want to go, there was that lingering thought. Sure, Blaine could tell him what was going on, sure, he could explain and they could get over this little bump and the pair of them could keep moving forward.

But what if forwards only brought more bad days? Kurt didn't think he could handle feeling as helpless as he had felt today. He couldn't stand the not knowing, the way Blaine's mom had just casually isolated Kurt.

He couldn't stand the thought that someday, perhaps even sooner than he had ever thought, Blaine would start having more bad days than good, until there were no more good days to be had.

TBC

Author Notes: Bit quicker to update this time! And we're bringing back the angst :P xxx


	17. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Kurt jiggled his foot nervously, checking his phone for the hundredth time. The bell was due to go for class any minute now, but he couldn't bring himself to walk inside the school. Blaine still hadn't arrived, but he had _promised _he would be here! Kurt had to know that everything was okay; he had to see Blaine, touch him, kiss him, sense him. He needed to know what was going on with his boyfriend, because at least then he could be prepared.

The bell rang, and Kurt's shoulders slumped. He paused, watching listlessly as the last few stragglers hurried inside. He was about to follow, when he caught sight of a car he recognised. It was the one Blaine's dad drove, the one Cooper had borrowed for those first few weeks. Kurt grinned in relief, jogging partway to meet the car, but then…

As Blaine's dad pulled up, Kurt realised that Blaine wasn't the only teenager in the car.

Sam was there too. Why was Sam there? Sure, Kurt knew that he and Blaine were close, but Sam lived on the opposite end of town to Blaine, and after the dramas of last night...

Kurt's stomach knotted with confusion and, he wasn't too proud to admit it, a nasty barb of paranoia. Still, he tried to keep his face devoid of any sort of negative emotion.

Especially seeing as Sam and Blaine pretty much had that covered between them.

"Remember what I said, Blaine." John Anderson leaned out of the car window. "Hello, Kurt."

Kurt gave an awkward little wave, and he couldn't help but notice how horribly quickly Sam and Blaine's face broke into identical too-bright grins; exact mirrors of each other. But who was mirroring who? "Hey Kurt! Thanks for the ride Mr Anderson."

"See you boys after school. The school's got my number if you need anything." He offered them all a smile, although to Kurt it seemed slightly strained.

"Bye Dad." Blaine called, already slipping his hand into Kurt's, the familiar warmth helping to distract them both from the undercurrent of tension that cracked between the three boys.

"I should head to class." Sam broke in. "See you at lunch? Or… glee? Is glee better?"

Blaine sighed, shaking his head, "Lunch is fine, Sam, seriously."

Sam fidgeted on the spot, dawdling, his eyes flicking uncertainly between the pair, before his lips curved into a soft smile, "Cool, bro. See you then." He paused, before adding, "You too, Kurt, if you want. Crap, guys, we gotta get to class!"

As the three dashed into the building, sophomores splitting from the junior, Kurt cursed his biology project. It was the last day for it, and there was no way he couldn't go. But Sam's casual invite had sounded more than, well, casual. There had been something else hidden there. Something that explained why he had been so nervous asking Blaine if he could meet him for lunch, something that would shine light on those horrible duel expressions of dull resignation and sadness that both boys had borne when they had driven up.

At least, Kurt reflected, Blaine didn't look too worse for wear after yesterday. The skin under his eyes was still bruised with tiredness, and there was less energy to his movements, but he had to be feeling good enough to be in school, or there was no way his dad would have let him come, let alone his mom.

Right?

* * *

Kurt was haphazardly stuffing his books into his locker when his phone buzzed. It was from Tina, which was odd in itself because while they were friends, they weren't exactly on the random texts level of friendship.

To be frank, Kurt wasn't really on that level with many people at all. The list probably comprised of Blaine, as well as Mercedes when she remembered him, Rachel when she needed something, and more recently Finn who was genuinely trying to make a brotherly effort.

_Where are you? Get to glee NOW!_

Kurt stared at the screen in blind confusion, already slamming his locker shut and heading off towards the choir room as fast as his stylish yet rather impractical boots would let him. He cursed his French teacher for wanting to talk to him about his last report. He wasn't late for glee, but he also wasn't early, and by now most of the others would be there and –

"Mercedes seriously, leave it!" Tina's furious voice snapped down the hall, rising above the general ruckus that echoed out of the choir room.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Kurt would never do that to Blaine!" Quinn's voice that time, passionate and defensive.

Kurt rounded the corner, and froze in the doorway, not entirely understanding what he was seeing but _definitely _not liking it.

Mercedes was sitting way too close to Blaine, her face righteous and compassionate. Blaine wasn't moving, but Kurt could tell even from a distance how hard he was gripping the edge of his seat, knuckles white. He was focussed intently on a random spot on the floor, hardly blinking, clearly trying to ignore the world around him.

"Blaine honey, I'm just saying – and I love Kurt, I do; he's my boy and I'd do anything for him – but do you really think that this relationship is healthy for you? You're clearly not feeling that great, and that's gonna happen. It's not Kurt's fault, or yours, but you just gotta accept that maybe you should each look for someone who's a bit closer to your own level, you know?"

Tina threw up her hands in disgust, "I _cannot_ believe you just said that!"

"As much as I hate to say this, I agree with Mercedes. There are tested studies that cover how couples with very different ES levels are doomed to end in heartbreak and trauma," Rachel broke in knowledgeably.

"When from? The nineteen hundreds?" Quinn asked incredulously.

Kurt was shaking. He saw red, his vision tunnelled until only the targets of his wrath were visible to him, "_What the Hell? _How _dare_ you?"

A chilling hush fell over the choir room. Kurt had never thought that he was one of those people who could go speechless with rage, he was normally so good at cutting people to ribbons with well placed words, but at that moment, he just couldn't get the words to form on his tongue. What made it infinitely worse was the horrible understanding that came with what he had heard. The blasé attitude and misplaced concern, and the deep down knowledge that Mercedes' lecture to Blaine was coming from a genuine place of caring and honesty.

His fists clenched, nails digging painful half-moon pits into his palms.

"Oh my god, _enough!"_ The tension broke, and everyone flinched. Blaine actually curled into himself a little bit, his hands coming up to hold his head. Sam was on his feet, and Kurt didn't need a high empathic sense to read just how furious and upset Sam was. "Kurt and Blaine are _amazing _together! None of you know what you're talking about!"

"Sam… you don't…" Blaine raised his head a little, although it looked painful to do so. His voice was ragged and cracked, his eyes wells of pleading agony.

"Yes I do, Blaine! You've been amazing this week, the best friend a guy could want, and all you've gotten back from me is…" Sam choked, waving his hand in Blaine's general direction. He jumped down from the second level of seating to face the stunned glee club with disappointed contempt. "My dad lost his job last month. The bank took everything from us – we've been living out of a motel room these past few weeks while Dad looks for a new job; me, my parents, my baby brother and sister…" Sam's voice choked, "And _none _of you noticed. No one except Blaine, and Quinn. _I'm_ the reason why Blaine's not been feeling that great this week, because he actually took the trouble to _notice me!_ So now you all have your gossip, you can leave Blaine and Kurt alone. I'm outta here." Sam threw up his arms as he stormed out, leaving the whole club speechless.

Finn turned to Quinn, "You _knew?_ And you didn't say anything?"

"It wasn't my place." Quinn responded coolly, "Our families go to the same church. I think some of you owe Kurt and Blaine an apology. Not to mention Sam."

Apologetic and uncomfortable expressions flittered across many faces, but Kurt still couldn't form words. He couldn't move. Why couldn't he move?

_Because you think Mercedes is right_. A nasty little voice hissed in the back of his mind. What if he really was bad for Blaine? What if he was harmful, what if he made Blaine ill?

"Please, please _stop it!" _All heads snapped to Blaine. He was shaking – genuinely, visibly, obviously shivering. He staggered to his feet, weaving sideways away from concerned hands that reached to steady him. "Get out _get out! Get out get out get out!" _ Blaine yelled at them, his voice wretched and jarring.

Kurt was across the room in a heartbeat, the nasty voice locked away deep down in the dark where it couldn't get in the way of helping Blaine. He wrapped his arms solidly around Blaine's body as the smaller boy collapsed into him, struggling for breath, "Blaine! Blaine, baby, it's okay, I'm here, it's me…"

Blaine struggled, panting haggardly in sharp snatches, twisting in Kurt's grip to find Mercedes, "I don't care! I don't care if you're sorry I don't I don't stop making me feel sorry stop making this okay because _nothing about this is okay!" _

Mercedes reeled back at the sheer venom in Blaine's voice, completely not like him, just like Sam's pain and anger earlier had been so strange to hear from one normally so happy. Exactly like.

"Okay, we need to get you out of here," Kurt said with absolute certainty as a horrible spike of _something_ laced up his spine. _**Pityapologyguiltsorryfearconcernsorrysorryforgive- **_

Kurt blinked rapidly, realising with morbid fascination that he had just sensed Blaine. No, not Blaine, _everyone else. _He had felt what Blaine was feeling; an overwhelming flood of remorse and regret as the other teenagers' emotions were literally forcing Blaine to forgive them when really all he wanted was to run and scream and cry.

Or did he, or was that still Sam?

Kurt head spun, and he bodily hoisted Blaine close to him. He felt rather than saw the other boy fumble at his shirt as his knees gave out.

Kurt's whole world narrowed to Blaine. He was dimly aware screaming at Finn to go and get Mr Schue, Miss Pillsbury, _someone!_ He vaguely registered the automatic action of fishing out his phone and dialling Blaine's dad, the number that had been programmed into his phone a few weeks ago. He had no real memory of yelling at the others to get out-

_Get out of the room, get out of Blaine's head, get out get out get out!_

What he did recall, with stark clarity, was the way Blaine felt in his arms as they sat entwined on the choir room floor. How as he sat there, cradled to Kurt's body, his shivering had become less pronounced, his grip less tense, his breathing less laboured.

Slowly, steadily, step by tiny step, Blaine returned to him in the silence and the quiet, in a stillness punctured only by Kurt's murmured comforts and their frantic heartbeats.

TBC

Author Notes: Hey guys! This chapter was actually a bit unexpected for me; Blaine wasn't meant to flip out quite that much, but then stuff happened… oops? Hope you enjoyed! xxx


	18. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Kurt lay against the pillows, fingers absently carding through soft grey fur while his other arm wrapped around his boyfriend's body. His eyes skimmed the length of Blaine's sleeping form, seeing, but not really registering, just comforting himself with the knowledge that Blaine was okay. On their travels, his eyes connected with bright feline irises. Molly was curled up stoically on Blaine's chest, where she had been since they had lain Blaine down.

And how long ago had that been? It was all a blur to Kurt. He remembered Blaine's dad arriving, he remembered refusing to let go of Blaine, just as Blaine refused to let go of him.

_Don't you understand we can't, we can't. If we let go, we're lost…_

So instead, sitting on the floor of the choir room, John Anderson had taken Blaine through a series of questions, too practiced in their rhythmic recitation. At first, Blaine had just curled into Kurt further, eyes squeezed tight shut, but slowly, ever so slowly, he had begun to unfurl, and answer.

_Where are you?_

_How do you feel?_

_No, how do __**you**__ feel, Blaine?_

_Tell me how you know what you feel._

_Where are you?_

_Who is in this room with you?_

_Give me a number between one and ten, and tell me the truth, Blaine._

_Where are you?_

Finally, John had decided that dragging his son to Lima General would do more harm than good, and he didn't feel at that moment that it was warranted the drive to Columbus, although he did plan on calling Blaine's sense doctor just to confirm.

What Blaine needed was sleep, isolation, _quiet_…

And considering neither teen was planning on letting go of the other any time soon… Kurt came as part of that prescription.

"_What do you mean Kurt's with him? As in he's with him _now?_" _Hushed voices floated dimly through the wood of Blaine's bedroom door.

Molly's head turned towards the sound, her tail flicking in agitation. Blaine's brow creased in sleep, and he shifted in Kurt's arms. Immediately, Kurt leaned down, pressing a kiss to smooth over Blaine's forehead. Absently, he started humming a random tune, soft and lulling.

"_You mean aside from the fact that kid is probably the only reason our son isn't back in a hospital bed? Because he's Blaine's boyfriend, and Blaine wanted him to stay."_

"_Blaine doesn't know what he wants! God, John, when are you going to accept that Blaine is getting worse?"_

"_And when are you going to accept that Blaine needs to be able to live his own life? He was trying to help a friend, despite what he knew it would make him feel, and yes, that probably wasn't the wisest idea, but dammit Emily can't you be proud of Blaine for trying?"_

"_Not when it ends like today, no!"_

Molly meowed plaintively, and Kurt's attention was pulled from the door to Blaine. His boyfriend was awake, dull amber eyes trained listlessly in the direction of the voices as they faded away further into the house. Kurt wasn't sure what to say, the sick feeling in his stomach unquenchable.

"They do that a lot," Blaine murmured, his voice blank of emotion, a yawning void that was so unlike Blaine's normal expressive tone that it physically hurt.

"They love you," Kurt said, "They're scared."

Blaine's eyes flicked to his, stunning in their clarity, "You're scared."

"Yes. Yes, of course I'm scared." Time seemed to have frozen, enveloping them in a tight bubble where everything else seemed to have fallen away, until all that was left was them, and a chance to be truly honest.

"I don't think I can be," Blaine croaked, his voice lost.

"What do you mean?" Kurt couldn't imagine how Blaine had lived with this his entire life, how he could go through ever day, and still be as bright and wonderful as he was.

"I never know if it's me anymore. I don't… how do I know if it's me? When I'm scared, angry, happy… when I want to scream or laugh or cry… when… when… when I'm in love…" Blaine voice choked, "What if none of it's me anymore? What if I'm already gone? How can I be scared, when all that's around me are other people who are just as scared as I want to be?"

Kurt's arms tightened reflexively around Blaine, "You're not gone. You're right here, with me." He let Blaine's words sink in further, "When you're in love?"

Blaine froze, so still it was as if he wasn't breathing. His eyes dropped to Molly, who stared placidly back, "That's the problem," he said finally, "How do I know?"

Kurt's heart pounded in his ears, "I think you just know…"

"But _how?_" Blaine's voice shook with frustration and tears, "How can I say to you that _I _love you when I don't even know what I am, what I feel, and what isn't, what else… When I don't even know where I am anymore…"

"I don't know," Kurt replied softly, realising how in that moment, the words _I love you too_ hung heavy on his tongue, balanced precariously on the cusp of being spoken. The knowledge hit him like a knife in the chest, because _he was in love with Blaine? _

They lay entwined together in silence on Blaine's bed, floating in their bubble of truths and confessions and fears, while the biggest confession of all remained unsaid. Shadows lengthened, and a door slammed somewhere below.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Sam," Blaine broke the silence, his voice much steadier that it had been before.

"I understand," Kurt said, because he really, honestly did.

"I thought I could handle it, I just wanted to be a good friend to him, I wanted to deal with the whole thing like I was normal for once…" Blaine's voice was edged with bitterness. "He knows now, about me. My parents met up with his, and they're gonna help his family out. It's why we were late this morning; Dad was dropping off his brother and sister first."

Kurt bit his lip, not knowing how much Blaine remembered of his freak out earlier in the choir room, "Honey… the others are going to wonder what happened. They're not going to stop until they get to the bottom of it – you saw what they were like with Sam."

"I know. By Monday, the whole school will know I'm a freak… if Mom even lets me go back, that is."

Kurt squeezed Blaine's shoulders, "We still have the weekend. And when it comes to it, we can be freaks together."

Blaine's body suddenly tensed, his hand clenching around Kurt's arm where it lay across his chest next to Molly, "Please don't leave me alone."

Kurt frowned, something in Blaine's voice sounded far more urgent than it should have. Their bubble popped.

A light knock, and Blaine's parents came in… with Kurt's dad…

"Oh, sweetheart, you're awake." Emily Anderson's whole body seemed taut, like a tightrope wire about to snap. John stood back slightly, his eyes drinking in the scene before him; two boys and a cat.

"Hey Blaine, how're you feeling?" Burt's smile was tight, but warm.

Kurt could tell how uncomfortable Blaine felt, as if they were suddenly under a microscope waiting to be studied and noted down, "Better, thanks Mr Hummel."

"Burt has come to take you home Kurt." Emily smiled, but it wasn't Blaine's smile, "It's getting late, and Blaine needs his sleep."

Molly hissed at the exact moment Blaine's nails dug painfully into the back of Kurt's hand. The cat was crouched now, her tail swishing angrily as she lay on top of Blaine facing the intruders.

Kurt didn't know what to do. Blaine had known, of course he had known, he must have sensed Kurt's dad as soon as he entered the house, and figured out why he was here. So, like every time since before he could remember, Kurt's eyes instinctively sought his father's.

_Help. What do I do? What should I do? What is right?_

Father and son didn't need an empathic connection; they never had. It didn't matter that Kurt was a void to Burt, it didn't matter that Burt was as unreadable as the rest of the world to Kurt. They could still read each other; the tells, the quirks, the stubbornness, the compassion.

And what Kurt found was trust, and a promise to help, and that gave him courage.

"I want to stay. Please? Can I stay?" Kurt asked, sitting up on one elbow without letting go of Blaine.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Mrs Anderson shook her head, "Besides, your father has come all this way to pick you up, Kurt."

"It's no trouble, really, I was working late at the shop anyway and you were on my way home," Burt put in. _Lie, that was a barefaced lie._ "Of course, this is your house, and Blaine's your kid, but seems to me that both boys look pretty comfortable, and it's been a tough day for everyone."

"I don't…" Mrs Anderson stuttered, clearly torn.

Her husband stepped in, clearly exasperated that this question was an issue at all, "Why don't we ask Blaine? Blaine? Answer honestly, think about it."

"Please let Kurt stay," the words were out of Blaine's mouth in a garbled rush, vowels tripping over each other to get out fast enough, "Please, I need him to stay, please Mom. He helps, he helps _me_, don't make him go."

The moment Emily Anderson's resolve broke was practically visible, her voice defeated. "Okay… okay then. I'll see if I can find some other night things for you."

As she disappeared, both fathers turned to their sons. "Thanks Dad," Kurt said seriously.

Blaine's head bobbed in agreement, his relief palpable. "Thank you."

Burt nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow, Kurt."

John glanced between the pair, before walking over to his own son, seemingly oblivious to how Blaine was still wrapped up in Kurt. He scratched Molly's head as he paused there. "Glad to see you're awake, bug." A teasing yet sad smile played on his lips, "And don't worry, Burt, I'll make sure they keep the door open."

The words spiked through Kurt, conjuring confusion and completely threw him for a second. But then Blaine was _smiling_, albeit weakly, and Kurt recognised the comment as a desperate attempt to bring normalcy to the situation. Because, god, Blaine deserved a little normalcy right now.

"_Dad! _Seriously?" Blaine actually whined, notes of playfulness that Kurt had sorely missed lighting up his voice.

Mr Anderson just kept smiling that sad smile, "Burt, let me show you out. Boys, you should get ready for bed. I'll bring you up some snacks in a minute."

It was only then that Kurt realised how neither of them had eaten dinner. "Night Dad."

"G'night boys." Burt Hummel nodded to them both, jamming his ball cap back on his head before following Blaine's dad out of the room.

Blaine's body seemed to slump, "You're staying."

"I am," Kurt confirmed. "I'm not leaving, I promise."

Their eyes connected, and the moment held as Kurt leaned forwards to carefully catch Blaine's lips in a warm kiss that spoke of so much more than just a one night promise.

The moment broke when Molly head butted Kurt's hand insistently, but as Blaine laughed at the cat's persistence and his boyfriend's unimpressed face, Kurt couldn't bring himself to be mad. The sound of Blaine laughing was too precious to be wasted, and Kurt intended to capture and savour every moment.

TBC

Author Notes: I really liked writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoyed it too! :) Love you all xxx


	19. Interlude: Burt

Interlude: Burt

"_**He's different. He's not going to be like the other children."**_

Burt ran his hands over his face tiredly. Kurt was finally asleep after a really nice evening where Burt had been introduced to Kurt's new boyfriend, Blaine. The boy who was going to break Kurt's heart through no fault of his own.

It made him feel sick to even think it, but Burt actually wished that their romance would be brief, a whirlwind of high school feelings ending in an average break-up.

But he knew it wouldn't be. When Kurt decided to love, he truly committed, and even though Burt doubted that the boys had reached that point in their relationship, he knew they would sooner or later. The look on his son's face when he looked at the other boy had told him that much.

And then there was this completely unprecedented reality that Kurt could _sense _Blaine. That Blaine's ES level was so high that he was able to register on Kurt's own senses, and in turn, that he could delve into Kurt's emotions when others failed. Irrationally, a small part of Burt was jealous, but at the same time he knew that was just something he would need to accept as part of his son growing up. Kurt was going to meet new people who could fill his life in ways that his family couldn't. And that was right.

But why did it have to be a boy like Blaine?

Sooner or later, Blaine's condition would begin to catch up on him. And there was no way Kurt would let go then, not after what he had gone through with his mother, and Burt's own heart attack scare. He would hold on tight until the last, and it would shatter him. Kurt was strong, and Burt was proud to have raised such an incredible young man, but there would always be the ragged fissures left over from his mother's loss scored into Kurt's soul. Just as there was on Burt's.

Burt knew he would have to shove his feelings and doubts aside. From what he could tell, Blaine seemed like a sweet, respectable kid who was dealt a really crappy hand in life. Eventually, Burt would just have to accept that Kurt had chosen this boy. He would focus on the good; Kurt's happiness, and the incredible chance of him finding a boy like Blaine who could show him a world that had previously been dark to him. Both boys would be good for each other, Burt could already see that.

But that didn't mean that Burt would deny himself this night of fretting, worry, fear, and selfishness.

One of the few benefits of Kurt's ES level being that for better or for worse, Burt could drown in his emotions, and they would remain entirely his own.

* * *

"_**He's going to be important."**_

Burt's favourite moments were moments like these. It was early on a Sunday afternoon, and the family was scattered around the living room, full from a big Sunday roast cooked to perfection by Kurt and Carole. Finn was sprawled across most of the couch – despite Carole's protest that he should sit up straight after eating enough food to feed a herd of elephants – while Burt relaxed in his favourite chair with his paper. Carole was flicking absently through tv channels, arguing with Finn over what to watch, while Kurt and Blaine…

The two boys had volunteered to do the dishes, and they usually did when Blaine came round. The first time they has offered, Burt and Carole had just blinked stupidly at the boys, but not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, let them get on with it. As the pattern established over many evenings and weekends, Burt began to recognise it for what it was.

There were little tells and touches that both boys seemed to do around each other without even noticing. They sat close during dinner, holding hands at any break in eating or conversation. They kept constant contact when sitting on the couch together, even if it was something as subtle as Kurt's toes tucked underneath Blaine's legs. When Kurt and Carole cooked, Blaine sat at the kitchen table to keep them company. And whenever Blaine seemed to phase out of conversation, or rub his eyes, Kurt would be there in an instant to rub his back soothingly, or kiss him on the cheek. The casual displays of affection had caught Burt off guard at first, but how could he say anything? Both boys were respectful, and it was clear just how much Kurt helped Blaine cope on a daily basis.

This was exactly what the dirty dishes afforded them. It gave Blaine a break from the rest of Kurt's family for a while without them having to disappear upstairs too soon after dinner.

"Thank you for doing that, boys," Carole smiled as Blaine and Kurt wandered in. Kurt shoved Finn's legs unceremoniously out of his way so he and Blaine could sit. Finn squawked in protest, but to his credit, didn't flinch too badly at Kurt's touch. Burt was proud of Finn, and how far he had come since the Hummels and Hudsons had moved in together. Finn's ES level was on the lower end of average, which meant that while Kurt's presence still unsettled him, he didn't find it as bad as some other kids his age. While the tall boy was incredibly open and easy for others to read, Finn was very bad at interpreting the emotions he picked up from others through touch, as they tended to muddle in his head. It was the source of much drama in his relationship with that loud Berry girl.

Blaine settled on the other side of Kurt, sandwiched closely in between his boyfriend and the arm of the sofa.

"No problem, Carole." Kurt smiled, before continuing a conversation he had clearly been having with Blaine in the kitchen, "Broadway is the easy answer. I think of everyone, that's where Rachel's going to end up."

Burt pretended not to listen while also subtly looking over the top of his paper at the boys.

"You would be incredible too though." Blaine gestured enthusiastically, his emotions sparking a distant resonance of kindness and support within Burt, but nothing clearer than that.

Elizabeth would have sensed more. She had been at the top end of what was considered average for an adult's ES level, around 3.7. It had always been a mystery to the sense doctors how Kurt had ended up with such a low level, but then, the genetics of these things were still very much in the theoretical stages, and Burt couldn't even begin to grasp it.

Kurt seemed to glow at Blaine's comment, leaning over to peck a light kiss to the tip of Blaine's nose in a gesture so domestic that it made Burt's heart ache. Blaine's nose wrinkled as Kurt pulled back, "That's very sweet, Blaine, but I think you're the only one who'd say that. It's okay; I came to terms with it a ages ago, and planned accordingly."

Blaine grinned, "Okay, so what _do _you want to do?"

"Fashion." Kurt's answer was immediate. "I've been building my portfolio of outfits and sketches since before high school, and have a list a mile long of potential schools. It's just… people can't read my emotions, and dismiss my singing straight away. But in fashion… by designing clothes, I can put a piece of me in them. My feelings, my emotions, all out there for the world to see. It's been my dream since I discovered the accessorising ability of scarves." Kurt laughed, trying to lighten his admission with a flippant comment.

"Hey, dude, that's really cool, I didn't know you wanted to do that." Finn grinned, before his face morphed into a grimace, "I have no idea what I want to do, and Miss Pillsbury is gonna start asking us soon. What about you Blaine? Though I guess you've got a year to go still…"

Burt tensed. Finn didn't know about Blaine's levels. Hell, _Carole_ didn't know, although Burt was pretty sure she had made some pretty good guesses. Kurt worried his lip between his teeth, shooting Blaine a tentative glance that held too many words for Burt to read.

Blaine just shrugged, far too casually for Burt to feel comfortable. It wasn't right, he was just a kid. "I don't know. I never really bother thinking about it."

Kurt flinched, and Burt noticed how Blaine just quietly took Kurt's hand, his attention still on Finn.

The taller boy frowned, oblivious, "What, like _never? _Not even when you were a kid?"

"You just said yourself you don't know what you want to do!" Kurt snapped defensively.

"I used to want to write music. Be some famous composer, or write songs for other people to bring to life." Blaine's voice was quiet, wistful.

Kurt's head whipped around, "What?"

Blaine's eyes were in his lap. "I love music. I love what it can do, the stories it can tell, how it can touch people…" He seemed to shake himself, "But there's no point wishing. It'll never happen."

"Why not, man?" Finn asked incredulously, oblivious to the look of lost devastation on Kurt's face, "You're awesome at that piano, I've heard you. You could do it, don't give up on your dream."

While Kurt looked ready to cry, Blaine seemed to take it all in his stride, which only made Burt all the more angry at the injustice of it all. "Thanks Finn. I appreciate it."

* * *

"_**He's going to be strong, like his daddy."**_

Burt had never felt so bone tired in his life.

"Thank you, for being so understanding." The voice of John Anderson sounded just as world weary as Burt felt, and the gratefulness rang loudly.

Burt decided to cut straight to it. On the one hand, he was incredibly proud of how Kurt had handled himself today, of how he had been there for Blaine, but on the other… "He's getting worse, isn't he?"

John's shoulders seemed to slump, "I think he is, yes. The doctors tell us this is all normal but… Emily blames me, for letting Blaine have his way and return to school."

Burt liked the Andersons. They were good people, and loved Blaine dearly. He also really didn't envy their position. "You can't wrap them up forever. God knows, there are times I wish I could with Kurt, but in the end, they're their own person. They've got to live for themselves." He hoped he wasn't over-stepping. It was one thing for him to talk about his own son, whose life expectancy was actually longer than the average person, and another thing to be in John's shoes.

Still, the taller man just sighed, "I completely agree with you. Blaine has so much to give, and if it wasn't for McKinley, he would never have met Kurt." His amber eyes were serious, "Your son has done so much for mine, I don't think even he really knows how much."

Burt shrugged one shoulder helplessly, "I just wish there was more we could do."

John's eyes bore into Burt, "What you're already doing is more than enough. Do you know how many parents would be comfortable having Blaine around their kids as much as those two are together?"

Burt grinned wryly, without humour. "I do, actually. Lizzy and I, we really had to fight to get the school to even accept Kurt into kindergarten. They were worried about the problems he'd cause the other kids. I remember, it was one week before he was due to start, and the school was still digging their heels in. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was ready to give up. The doctors had given us this big speech, when Kurt was born and they told us how low he is on the scale."

"I think we got a similar talk," John said sombrely. "'_Your child will have a difficult life, but don't worry, society has safeguards in place to ensure that he will live as normal a life as possible.'_"

Burt snorted, "Yeah. _Safeguards._ Lock them away from the normals and pretend they don't exist, more like. Wait till the problem goes away. I won't lie, Kurt's diagnosis was a big deal for me, a lot to take in. But Liz… it's like she always knew, even before the doctors. She wouldn't back down, not one inch. She fought for him, and that was enough to kick me up the ass. When… when I lost her, I swore I'd keep fighting for Kurt. And if he wants to be with Blaine, then I'll stand by him, and your son."

John swallowed harshly, nodding jerkily, "I really appreciate it, truly Burt you are a better man than most." He coughed, a discordant sound melding into a broken laugh that held too much loss. "Emily… she's terrified of losing Blaine, but… I think she's starting to give up. It's just getting so _hard_… We're as exhausted as Blaine most of the time these days. But I just… I just _can't_. I can't give up. I can't give _him _up."

Burt swallowed, feeling the other father's desperation seeping into the air in a cloying mass. He stepped forward, resting a solid hand on John's shoulder, "You ever feel like stopping by the garage for a coffee or anything, you make sure you do that, alright? Let's face it, ours sons up there are in pretty damn deep, and with everything else…"

Though the physical contact, Burt got a better read on the other man in a rush of _fear gratefulness loneliness stubbornness loss_. "Thanks, Burt. I appreciate it."

* * *

"_**How do you even know it's gonna be a boy? We ain't even been to the doctors yet!"**_

"_**I just do. Don't argue with me Burt, you know you always lose."**_

"_**Hey there little guy, I'm your dad!"**_

"_**Oh my god, you're insufferable! Get your hands off my stomach and our son until you've washed your hands! You're covered in motor oil!"**_

"_**Yeah, you love me."**_

"_**Unfortunately. I don't know why I… oh…"**_

"_**What is it? You okay? Oh my god, is it the baby, Liz what do I do?"**_

"_**If you're going to be like this for the entirety of this pregnancy, we're going to have some serious problems."**_

"_**Well don't pull faces like that then! Or send off those damn vibes of yours! You scared me half to death!"**_

"_**I'm sorry… I just… he's going to be special, I can feel it."**_

"_**Special? Of course he will be, he's ours, ain't he?"**_

"_**No, I mean… different. Promise me you'll fight for him."**_

"_**Liz, don't be daft… You're just scaring yourself, sensing things that aren't even there."**_

"_**Oh no, I can sense him alright."**_

"_**Elizabeth. Love. If it makes you feel better, then yes, I promise, I'll fight for him, even if when we get you to the doctors they tell us he turns out to be a she with twelve toes and an ES level of ten."**_

"_**I love you, so much."**_

"_**Well, I am pretty a pretty amazing husband."**_

"_**And you're going to be an incredible father."**_

TBC

Author Notes: So turns out I really enjoy writing Elizabeth! And Burt of course, but that's a given. Hope you liked this little interlude before we return to Blaine's pov for a while! Loves! xxx


	20. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

The golden stars swam; a lulled reflection on an inky, mirror-smooth ocean. There was a perfect symmetry to it, all at once so intimate, and yet, so vastly incomprehensibly huge. Where once there were fleeting sparks and blurred lines, now there was an artist's landscape, engraved brightly into dreams.

Blaine let himself float, cutting languid ripples into the glassy water, resting on the cusp of sleep and waking.

And he let himself realise something, here, in the one place where things were okay, where he couldn't be scared, where he didn't need to think about the consequences. Here, where instinct and emotions weaved a sure path through his body… between their bodies, wrapped tightly in sleep.

There was no going back. There were no blurred lines, no too-quick sparks. Not anymore.

Blaine had passed the point of no return. If he lost Kurt now, then Blaine would lose himself as well.

That thought, that knowledge… it should have been terrifying, but somehow when he was here, floating in an ocean of stars, it was happy, warming, _safe_. It was a future, a hope; a smile and a laugh. A love.

And he knew… he knew that Kurt knew too.

But that's the problem with emotions. That's the problem with instinct. Dreams are sharp, beliefs are clear, conviction is set.

Until you wake up, open your eyes.

Realism.

Good intentions.

Rationality.

Logic.

Reason.

Doubt.

_**Don't drown…**_

* * *

"Good morning…" Kurt's voice was soft, ever so soft; a secret murmur into the dawn-dark room.

Blaine blinked languidly. His body felt heavy, but in a nice way. Kurt's sleepy contentment caressed his skin, and for a moment he was still there, floating near the shore.

The spell broke, and Blaine twisted and wriggled, a wide grin spreading across his face, "Good morning to you too. We should do this more often."

Kurt rolled onto his side, elbow on the pillow as he propped up his head. He arched an eyebrow, and Blaine could feel a wry amusement tickle down his fingertips where he stroked feather-light patterns over Kurt's bicep. "I would rather not watch you go through something like yesterday again anytime soon."

"You know what I mean."

Kurt paused, his eyes dropping to stare at his own fingers where they toyed with the buttons of Blaine's pyjama top. It was so perfect, so domestic, so normal. Blaine wanted to wake up like this every day for the rest of his life. "Yes, Blaine, I know what you mean."

The words spilled from Blaine's lips, an abrupt subject switch as memories of the previous day started to prickle at his chest. "I need to think of what to tell them."

Kurt's smile fell, and his eyes lost some of their spark, "You don't owe them anything."

"I know."

"It doesn't have to be the truth."

"I know…"

"We don't even have to see them until Monday, we can just…"

"Let it fester?" Blaine sighed, rubbing his face. "I think I just want to get it over with. And… oh no… I really need to see if Sam's okay…"

Blaine struggled to sit up. He had completely forgotten about his friend! It had just been too much; the culmination of Sam's build-up of emotions that past week, and Mercedes' lecture, and the glee club's attempt at a relationship intervention. Blaine had just felt so attacked and raw, Sam's breakdown being enough to tip his own fragile emotion balance over the edge.

"Blaine, Blaine stop!" Blaine could feel a light prickle of frustration and worry under his fingertips from Kurt, and knew what was coming. "Please, I like Sam too, but you need to focus on yourself first. I don't blame Sam for yesterday, I couldn't, but he's not healthy for you right now!"

Blaine simply waited for Kurt to finish his plea. Because he could. Because even though he could feel Kurt's frustration, Kurt's fear, they remained just that; Kurt's. Just someone else's emotions, lapping at the shore, only to wash back out again with the tide.

"Like you're not healthy for me?" Blaine asked quietly.

"I… no…" Kurt stumbled over his words, "That's different Blaine, Mercedes is wrong."

"I'm sorry I scared you yesterday, but you need to understand Kurt, this is my life. You're my boyfriend, and Sam is my friend, and the glee club… they're my friends too I think. You have to let me make my own choices, even if you think I'm going to get hurt."

Kurt's eyes misted as his gaze dropped once more to his finger's rhythmic movements over Blaine's pyjama buttons, "I don't want to lose you."

Blaine sighed inwardly, wishing he could bring himself to speak the lying placation that would make Kurt feel better. But he couldn't.

Instead, he leant forward and brushed his lips to the corner of Kurt's mouth, where that adorable dimple should be if only Kurt would smile. He tasted salt and felt Kurt's shoulder jerk slightly with a swallowed sob. Close in his ear, he heard Kurt let out a shaky, steadying breath.

Neither spoke again until Blaine's dad knocked on the door for breakfast.

* * *

Sam popped a fry into his mouth, "And they just… let it go?" His voice was sceptical.

Blaine shrugged, detachedly impressed at how well Sam had mastered the art of talking around food. They were sat out on Blaine's back porch, greasy brown paper bags of fast food scrunched between them.

"I think Kurt's death glares helped them accept things pretty quickly," Blaine said fondly.

Sam snorted, sending a bright shot of amusement up Blaine's spine. "Nice. I'm glad. You guys are awesome together, and an idiot could tell how good he is for you. Even before you told me, I could see that much."

Blaine couldn't help but smile at Sam's casual certainty. This was why he was glad he had told Sam about his ES level, why he was so happy he and the other boy had gotten to know each other more. Sure, Sam was having a rough time of it recently, but that didn't stop him from being one of the brightest, warmest souls Blaine had ever met. "I think it was easy for them to believe me. People getting a bit unstable when they're ill is a normal thing. People having a freak out because their ES is way higher than anyone can really imagine, that's scary."

Sam nodded wisely, "Yeah, I guess… but what if it happens again? Or if you actually get sick? Wait, dude, what if you get sick?"

Blaine grimaced, but tried to shrug off Sam's sudden curiosity, "It's not as bad as you'd think. It's actually more unpleasant for those around me to be honest."

Sam shook his head, "I dunno, I got tonsillitis once when I was a kid and though I don't remember much, I know it wasn't good."

"I think it depends on the person." Blaine shrugged, not really wanting to get into the topic. He had never been badly ill in his life, but when he thought back to the last time he had caught a cold… well, that has been distinctly not fun. Not for him, or anyone in close proximity to him.

"Did you ever read the issue of X-Men where Storm got sick and her powers went haywire so the weather started copying every else's emotions, but _inside _the mansion?"

Blaine snorted at Sam's ability to link everything back to a geek reference. "I don't think I did…"

"I can lend it to you if you like. Stevie's got some of my old comics."

"Thanks." Blaine flopped backwards on his elbows. "Do you ever wonder why Superman has an empathic sense?"

Sam blinked. A flicker of honest confusion skittered through breeze. "No. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's _Superman_. It'd be a bit dumb if he couldn't. It'd also blow his cover _really_ quickly. Like, if he was the only one at the Daily Planet who couldn't sense emotions, Lois Lane might catch on."

Blaine shook his head, "But he's an _alien_."

"Yeah, but they couldn't exactly have their hero low on the ES scale could they?" Sam bit his lip. "You mean they could have let him pretend he was a human like Kurt, don't you?"

"But they would never have written him like that."

"No. They wouldn't have." Blaine agreed quietly.

* * *

Monday swung around, and it was like Blaine's small episode on Friday had never happened. He had been ill, and now he wasn't, and that was that.

If only real life was that simple.

Instead, all the buzz of the glee kids was about their impending trip to Nationals and New York. Sam, Blaine, and Kurt were last week's gossip.

"I'm just saying that having Finn and I do a duet is _clearly _the only option. Everyone knows that we have the best chemistry and audience connection. This is _Nationals_. We can't afford to take any risks."

"And _I'm_ just saying that maybe it would be nice to let some other couple duet for a change." Tina snapped back.

"I'm sorry, what? Are you saying you want _Mike_ to duet with you at Nationals?" Rachel asked incredulously.

"Hey, whoa, don't bring me into this." Mike sidled away from the two warring girls.

"I'm just saying maybe it'd be nice if just _one_ of our competitions sets wasn't 'Rachel, Finn, and their backing singers'!" Tina screeched.

"Okay guys, let's calm it down a bit..." Mr Schuester tried to step in, "We have plenty of time to discuss the set list."

"Nationals is in two weeks, Mr Schue," Kurt said flatly. "What do you want us to do? Write a few original songs in the hotel room when we get to New York?"

"It'll all work out _fine_, guys, stop panicking!"

"So in other words, that's exactly what's going to happen." Kurt rolled his eyes to Blaine. "At least you'll be on hand to help avert disaster. I hope there's a piano somewhere in the hotel…"

Blaine tried to focus on Kurt and ignore the electric bolts of tension and pride on the other side of the room. "Umm… I'm not coming to New York…"

Kurt's head whipped around, "What? What do you mean? Of course you're coming."

"Kurt, the club can barely afford to send its performers, let alone random hangers-on. Besides, me and New York? Possibly the worst potential combination in history; there is no way in this world that my parents would let me go."

Kurt seemed to deflate, soft sorrow welling in resignation. "I guess that makes sense. It's just… we'll be gone for nearly a week…"

Blaine pressed down against the anxious knot that suddenly formed in his stomach, instead quirking a fond smile at his boyfriend, "You're going to _miss_ me!"

Kurt scowled, folding his arms as he haughtily replied, "You don't have to look so smug about it."

Despite his apparent annoyance, Blaine could feel Kurt's undertones of blushing warmth wash over him. Grinning, he forced his arm through Kurt's and dropped his head onto his boyfriend's shoulder, enjoying the contact. "If it helps, I'll miss you too. School will be really empty without you guys."

"There's always the band?" Kurt offered doubtfully.

Blaine wrinkled his nose, "Yeah. I guess."

"Seriously though, will you be okay?" A fissure of concern cracked open between them, making the knot in Blaine's stomach tighten further.

"It's not like I haven't braved high school without you before," Blaine mumbled quietly, his soft tones swallowed in the echoing shrillness of Rachel Berry's voice. "And when you get back, you'll have all these amazing stories to tell me."

Doubt mingled with concern, but both emotions were overshadowed with a crescendo of ego from the other side of the room. Kurt didn't reply, and the knot in Blaine's stomach didn't loosen for the rest of the day.

TBC

Author Notes: Hi guys! Sorry for the delay; I've just gone on holiday and while my laptop has come with me for some quality chilled writing time, it took me a while to get internets. Thanks for the continued support! Until next time! xx


	21. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Blaine turned his phone over in his hands. It wasn't going to ring, but that didn't stop him from staring at it with the vainest hope that it would.

They had made an agreement before Kurt had left. Phone calls would be a bad idea; there was too much risk of Blaine's senses getting confused, and Kurt wouldn't be anywhere near to help him calm down. Since Kurt had landed in New York, they had been texting, but the words had been brief as the other boy clearly got caught up in the magic of the city.

Blaine shoved his phone into his bag in frustration. He needed something to take his mind off it all. Something to distract him from the fantasies, wishes and dreams that placed Blaine in New York too, performing on stage alongside his friends and Kurt.

"Watch it freak!"

Hatred, malice, and relished cruelty exploded up Blaine's arm, the onslaught of feelings bleeding into the physical pain in his other arm as a random jock shoulder-checked him into a locker bank. Instinctively, Blaine curled into himself, head ducked until the jock disappeared laughing around the corner.

_Breathe. Just breathe. Count to ten. _Blaine kept his eyes squeezed tight shut, trying to swallow against the rising bile in his throat as self-hatred twisted in the pit of his stomach; a mutated version of the jock's emotions rooting itself deep within him.

When he finally felt able to open his eyes, the corridor was deserted. The bell must have rung already. Wonderful.

Unsteadily, Blaine pushed himself up from the lockers and began to meander his way to his next class. The teacher scowled at his lateness and mumbled apology; her bored irritation itching under Blaine's skin like millions of ants.

Head down, Blaine slid into his seat. Unconsciously, he glanced to his right where normally he would see Sam and Tina. Their empty desks only made him feel worse.

He tried to focus on the class without much success. His mind wouldn't stop wandering, his leg wouldn't stop bouncing, his hands wouldn't stop twitching… By the time the class actually ended, Blaine was too worked up. He didn't know what to do with himself. Neither of his parents were able to pick him up, which essentially boiled his choices down to school bus or walk. And after the last few days he'd had, sitting in a moving container of emotionally charged teenagers was not where Blaine wanted to be right now. So that meant walking.

He held back, waiting for the front tide of students rushing to leave school grounds to go ahead of him before dropping off his stuff in his locker.

He didn't want to go home. Home was empty. Home was nothing.

All at once he was frustrated, bored, lonely, jittery, angry. His flesh crawled, and his skin felt too tight for his body. Hands clenched into fists, and Blaine's feet led him to the auditorium.

It was dead. Empty. Lifeless. Stark emergency lighting was the only thing able to pierce the darkness, carving sharp shadows onto Blaine's skin.

The light and the life had gone to New York and left Blaine behind.

Chest tightening, Blaine fumbled for his phone. Why wouldn't his hands stop shaking?

No new messages.

_Kurt…_

Standing in the vast auditorium, Blaine felt small as the yawning space swallowed him whole, and breathing just became so much _harder_.

Why had he come back to school? Why had he let himself fall for Kurt? Why had he let himself think he could have a life?

Five days without Kurt to offer support, and Blaine was a wreck.

Detachedly, Blaine recognised that he was really struggling to breathe now. His chest was tight with a swell of anxiety; every snatch of air seemed to need a huge amount of energy.

His limbs felt heavy and his vision started to swim and god please just stop stop stop-

_Calm down, calm down, you're panicking, calm down-_

But his hands still kept shaking and the massive dark room refused to relinquish its grip.

Disjointed blurs and dismembered thoughts drowned in a tidal wave of fear as Blaine felt his knees buckle. He couldn't calm down, he couldn't stop, he couldn't stop, he couldn't stop shaking breathing crying drowning drowning drowning-

Footsteps echoed, shouts rang – _calm down, you're panicking, calm down – _hands grasped and _terror fear panic panic panic panic-_

It was the last push. Iron weights forged from the emotions of a stranger manacled themselves to Blaine's feet, and dragged him under to the darkness.

* * *

"Blaine? Hey buddy, you with me?"

Blaine felt like he was stuffed with cotton wool. His limbs felt detached, and his disorientation fuelled a confused panic as his eyes shot open and registered three things in quick succession that did nothing to quell his rising terror.

_Hospital bed._

_IV line._

_Nurse._

"I'll go and get the doctor." The nurse bustled off, and Blaine's vision tunnelled.

But then strong, warm hands were grasping his shoulders solidly, forcing his head to turn the other way to the owner of the first voice. "Blaine, calm down, it's okay, you're safe, calm down, breathe for me there, bud, come on… that's it."

"C-coop?" Blaine stumbled over his brother's name, the act of voicing it already making him feel slightly less agitated.

"Right here squirt." Cooper smiled widely, his happiness at seeing his little brother awake painting the room with washes of yellows and oranges; watercolours of warmth.

"What… what happened?" Blaine struggled to sit up, nearly dislodging his IV in the process.

Cooper leapt of out his uncomfortable-looking hospital seat to help him, propping up pillows, "What do you remember?"

"I was in McKinley's auditorium, and then…" Blaine could remember the swell of terror, the talons of known fear puncturing his heart. He swallowed roughly, determined not to send himself into another spiral, "I passed out?"

Cooper nodded, his mouth a thin line, "A couple of kids found you, and thank god one of them had a brain, because they ran and got your school's cheerleading coach. She had the good sense to pull the other kid off you before their emotions made you even worse. Mom and Dad are with Dr Monroe now, but they think you had a panic attack…"

Blaine blinked stupidly. "A panic attack? That's… that's it?"

"_That's it?_" Cooper parroted incredulously, "I fly in from New York on a surprise trip to visit my little brother, and end up going straight from the airport to the freaking _hospital_ because I get a call from Dad to tell me to meet them there, Blaine's collapsed! And you say _'that's it?'_"

Blaine shrank back, and Cooper's emotions splattered immediate ink spots of guilt. "I'm sorry…"

Cooper scrubbed his hands over his face. "No, Blaine, please don't apologise. I was just scared. I shouldn't have said that."

Blaine fiddled with a loose thread on the starch, too-stiff hospital sheets. "I just thought… when I woke up, I thought I'd had another empathic episode."

"Well, at first so did we." Both Anderson brothers looked up to see Dr Monroe in the doorway, flanked by their parents. Blaine's stomach squirmed guiltily. His mom looked so pale and tired, and his dad's face was drawn and defeated. Dr Monroe smiled professionally and walked up to the other side of his bed. "However, your teacher said that you were alone before you were found, and we did a blood test to look for any kind of severe chemical imbalance that we would expect from a full episode, and nothing really out of the ordinary showed up. If you're feeling up to it, Blaine, I would like it if we could have a chat about what you were doing just before you collapsed."

Blaine didn't really like the idea of that. "Are we in Columbus?"

"No, Blaine, we're still in Lima. Dr Monroe was kind enough to drive down here rather than have you moved." His mom smiled thinly, nervous hands trying to fluff his pillows in an attempt to busy herself.

Dr Monroe nodded, "The doctors here were unsure if your collapse was related directly to your ES level, I was simply here to consult. If all goes well with our little chat, you won't even have to stay overnight." Her smile was simultaneously warm and cold; the warmth in her eyes juxtaposed against the chill of her carefully shrouded emotions.

Blaine nodded with dull resignation, but then his eyes widened, "Does Kurt know I'm here?"

More guilt, this time from his mom, crackling in a shower of emerald sparks. "You've only been here a couple of hours, sweetie, and we didn't think you would want to worry Kurt. Not with his competition being so important…"

"Oh. Okay." Blaine wasn't sure how to feel. On the one hand, he was relieved that Kurt wasn't worrying himself sick over Blaine, but on the other… he really wished Kurt was here.

And then it was all business. His parents and Cooper waited outside while the doctor grilled Blaine for the complete rundown of what had happened. Her face gave nothing away and, for once, the emotional quiet from her really unnerved Blaine. Every time he mentioned Kurt, he felt like he was missing out on some secret conclusion she was drawing. When they were finished, she disappeared with Blaine's parents again, and sure Cooper kept him company chatting about what he had been up to in New York, but Blaine wasn't an idiot.

No one was telling him anything. They were leaving him out, trying to protect him, explaining only what they thought he could handle.

Cooper tried his hardest to cheer Blaine up, but there was only so much he could do. Once again, Blaine wished Kurt was here. Kurt was strong and sure, Blaine's anchor in a storm. And yet, every time he thought of Kurt, he just felt miserably guilty. Kurt was enjoying himself in an incredible city, and here was Blaine wishing that he was still here in Ohio watching his broken boyfriend get worse.

Tomorrow, Kurt would be back, and Blaine would be out of hospital.

Suddenly, Blaine knew. He knew what to do. If he didn't tell Kurt, then his boyfriend wouldn't worry or feel guilty about not being here, and Blaine could forget it ever happened. Because the last thing Blaine needed was Kurt to think that he had to stay with Blaine out of some twisted pity. He couldn't stand the thought of Kurt giving up his New York fashion dreams for Blaine, just so he could watch his boyfriend descend into insanity in his early twenties before finally dying.

He would have one more year of selfish happiness with Kurt, and then he would let him go.

What Blaine didn't realise was that he wouldn't be given that choice.

TBC

Author Notes: Another update already? Yup! This is what happens when I actually have free time - huzzah! xx


	22. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Kurt returned from New York full of excitement and stories, tinged only by the smallest hint of melancholy over their loss at Nationals. Blaine was careful not to let on any indication of his visit to the hospital in the week Kurt had been absent. Instead, he hung onto every one of Kurt's words with attentiveness and a smile, and Kurt remained blissfully oblivious.

Summer crept up on them much sooner than anyone had expected. The lack of school – or more importantly the lack of day to day contact with its students – was something Blaine could really get used to. He wasn't sure if he had felt this _good_ since before Sadie Hawkins. Everything was just perfect, and Kurt's constant presence only served to add to that perfection.

At least, that was how the first week felt.

On Sunday, Blaine had meant to meet Kurt at his house, but he had been out with Cooper and they had got caught in a traffic jam on the way back from the store. It had been really nice to have Cooper around for a while. His big brother was due to fly to LA in a couple of days for a guest spot on a high-flying TV drama; taking a break from the stage for a while. But when they finally got back home, Kurt wasn't there. They had only been twenty minutes late or so, and Blaine had texted to let him know.

_Hey! I thought you'd be here? :) x_

No answer. Blaine figured that Kurt was probably in the car on his way over; he probably left his house later thanks to Blaine's warning text.

To kill time waiting, he caved to Cooper's pestering for Blaine to help run some lines, but he couldn't help but be distracted. He wasn't sure why either. Kurt was home in Lima, and yes while the other boy's absence had been a trigger for his panic attack the other week, Blaine didn't think he should be dwelling on Kurt's lateness as much as he was. There was an unsettled energy in his core that he couldn't explain away; a crackle of uncertainty that left pinprick burns all over his skin.

Blaine's mental absence did not go unnoticed by Cooper for long; the older brother was far too used to looking for those little tells that Blaine didn't even realise he gave off. "Call him."

Blaine jerked, frowning at his copy of script for a second in confusion, looking for a line that wasn't there. "What?"

"Kurt. Call him. You're clearly not in character, and I assume that wayward boyfriend of yours is the reason." Cooper raised an eyebrow pointedly.

"I can't call him!" Blaine shook his head, the multitude of ways that could go wrong already whirling around his head.

Cooper frowned, "Why? I know you hate serious conversations, but you guys are great at the moment, and all you'd be doing would be asking where he is. He probably just got held up at his dad's shop or something."

Blaine folded his arms, unable to explain the squirming feeling in his stomach.

"Everything okay boys?" Their mother entered the living room. She had been in the garden reading when they got home and they hadn't wanted to disturb her.

"Blaine's paranoid because Kurt hasn't called yet when he's probably about three seconds from pulling into the drive." Cooper supplied with a grin. Blaine gritted his teeth; Cooper was still enjoying himself far too much when it came to teasing Blaine about how head over heels he was for his boyfriend.

"Oh, I'm sorry Blaine I thought Kurt would have texted you – he called the house earlier to say he couldn't make it." Their mom smiled slightly, and a crackle of… of… _something _nudging behind Blaine's eyes.

Cooper frowned, a wash of deep emerald blooming against a soft white canvas, but Blaine was too distracted to interpret his brother's emotions. He desperately wanted to find out where Kurt was, but at the same time, he was determined to try and prove to his family that he wasn't going to end up in the hospital again anytime soon. He needed to show that he was okay, that Kurt's absence and silence didn't hurt him this much, or make his head pound in clenching confusion.

He needed not to need Kurt. That was the only way he was going to get through the next few years without losing his mind.

Except… that was so much easier in theory than in practice. Because Blaine _did_ need Kurt. He needed his smile, his laugh, his touch… his love. Whenever the other boy wasn't around, Blaine was lost, struggling against blind currents and dragging swells in an ocean of emotions too dark and deep to comprehend.

Blaine forced himself to straighten his shoulders. He made himself not react. He would wait until tomorrow. He would be normal, and not needy or weird or clingy. Get over it.

_Please._

* * *

Blaine awoke the next morning with an odd feeling of emptiness. Molly blinked at him from her nest in his comforter, and he scratched her ears, letting her contentment fill him for a brief moment. The feeling didn't last when he broke contact; he was too busy struggling not to check his phone as soon as he sat up.

He lost the battle, but as Molly was the only one to witness his lack of will, he decided he could live with it. As long as Kurt-

_Hey sorry about yesterday. I can come over this morning if your house is free? Xx_

Blaine blinked at Kurt's odd message. There was no explanation, and it held none of Kurt's normal chirpiness. Also… why does his house need to be free? Sure, their make-out sessions had been becoming less and less innocent as they'd neared the end of school but… the tone just seemed off. There was no suggestion or playfulness, or even embarrassment. Sure, it was just a text, and Blaine knew he was pretty poor at interpreting anything even when it was face to face but…

He was nervous. He shouldn't be nervous. Why was he nervous?

_Sure dad has work and mom and cooper planned to go out this morning. Come over whenever! Xx_

Blaine's fingers tapped out what he felt was a good neutral response. It wasn't long until Kurt beeped back.

_See you in an hour? Xx_

An hour. Okay. Good.

Blaine managed to keep himself from creating elaborately constructed doom scenarios in his head in the hour it took him to get dressed and force some breakfast down. He didn't know why he was feeling so off kilter; the unsettled creeping that had clung to his skin since he had got home yesterday hadn't dissipated like he'd hoped it would with a little sleep.

The door bell rang too soon. Blaine nervously flattened a loose curl that wasn't even there before pulling on a grin and opening the door. Molly wound her way between Blaine's legs, her clear blue eyes staring unwaveringly up at Kurt.

His boyfriend smiled softly, slowly, in a way that was both guarded and yet so pleadingly open, "Can I come in?"

Blaine stepped back, but Molly's ears flattened with a hiss, her tail twitching as she stood her ground. Blaine frowned, confused. Molly _liked_ Kurt… "Hey, stop that." He scooped her up, the unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach growing defensive and even more nervous with Molly's disquiet.

Kurt stared at the cat in Blaine's arms as he shut the front door behind him, "Is she okay?"

"I don't know what's gotten into her…" Blaine shook his head apologetically. The cat wriggled, hissing, and Blaine was forced to put her down. She immediately skittered aside to crouch not too far away from the boys, tail still twitching, clearly upset.

The taller boy fidgeted slightly, his fingers twitching oddly as his gaze remained fixed on the cat, "I'm sorry about yesterday." His voice was soft, laced with an emotion so deep that Blaine wasn't sure he could reach it.

"That's okay…" Every syllable felt precise, measured, a perfectly balanced weight on his tongue before it slipped out.

"I just… I needed time to think…" Kurt choked out, his words equally precise.

Blaine's heart spiked. He didn't know why.

Kurt's outfit wasn't as eclectically bright as normal. Blaine noticed, because normally Kurt stands out so beautifully in the reserved décor of Blaine's house.

"Kurt… What's going on? And please don't pretend there's not anything going on because I saw you two days ago and everything was fine and now… is something wrong? Is your dad okay?" Blaine struggled to sort out his thoughts.

"No, Blaine, my dad's fine," Kurt replied quietly.

"Kurt, _please!" _Blaine's voice choked, breaking at a swell of resigned melancholy that didn't belong to him.

"I can't do this." The words tripped jagged into the still air as too-silent tears began to spill from Kurt's eyes.

"W-what?" Blaine stumbled, his chest suddenly tight as he tried to understand.

Kurt finally pulled his eyes from Molly, and somehow managed to meet Blaine's bewildered gaze. As soon as he did, Blaine wished he hadn't. There was a horrible determination there, piercing though the misery and the tears. The kind of determination that normally made Kurt shine, but now only made Blaine's heart shatter. "I can't do this anymore, Blaine. I'm sorry…"

Somewhere from the tides Blaine pulled a sense of anger and hurt. He had a right to know what was going through his boyfriend's head, "What's going on Kurt? I didn't think anything was wrong! Talk to me! Don't just shut me out and run away! I won't let you."

Kurt's jaw set, "I'm not giving you a choice, Blaine. You can't make me stay if I don't want to." His voice wobbled, all sharp edges and broken notes. His hands were clenched so tightly into fists that Blaine was sure he must be drawing blood from his palms.

"And you can't just leave without giving me some sort of explanation! You said! You said you wouldn't leave me! You said we were in this together, and now… what? You lied? Why are you saying these things, Kurt? _Please!_" Horrible, wrenching, breath-snatching sobs were clawing at Blaine's lungs, and god, he couldn't _breathe _but he had to know. How had his life started to fall apart so fast?

"New York." Kurt choked out.

"What?" Blaine was so side-swiped by Kurt's reply that he nearly forgot he was crying.

Now Kurt had broken the seal, all his words started spilling out, each stronger and surer than the last. "You know I want to go to New York eventually, and when I was there I just… Blaine, I'll have to leave you alone and I just… isn't it better, that we end this now, before we both get in too deep? I don't want to hurt you…"

"And what you're doing right now?" Blaine's voice was chilled and stuttered, coldly disbelieving that this person in front of his was the same boy he thought he knew so well, "That's not hurting me? We've talked about New York! We've talked about _everything!_ How can you do this? How can you just _stand there?_ I don't believe you, you're lying. Why are you _doing this?_"

"I'm sorry Blaine." Kurt shook his head, his shoulders too stiff, his eyes too dead. "I've been thinking about this for a while, and I realised how unfair it is to you, to keep this going when I'll be leaving-"

"_In over a year!" _Blaine yelled. He couldn't help it. Blood was rushing in his ears as his head span with a horrible potion of both his and Kurt's crashing emotions, building and building and- He bit his lip, wrapping his arms around his torso, all anger suddenly gone from his body, leaving him defeated, "Please don't do this."

He took a step forward, hand outstretched, only for his heart to plummet as Kurt immediately retreated away from his touch. Tears scrunched in Kurt's eyes, beautifully staining his skin. "I'm sorry Blaine. I really am."

He turned to go, fingers grazing the door handle-

"But I love you." The words were soft and lost, almost reflexive in the way Blaine felt them fall from his lips. And for the first time, he knew for certain that they were fact, absolute fact. The love was his own emotion, deep and rooted in his heart, and it was all for Kurt.

The other boy's whole body seemed to stutter, palm thudding hard against the wood of the door as if Blaine's words physically took away his balance. Kurt gasped, wretched and ragged, fingertips white where they pressed against the door. In the still moment, Blaine's eyes took in every detail of Kurt's shaking form, waiting, hoping, wishing… he didn't know.

But then Kurt's shoulders straightened, and Blaine heard a swallowed sob.

He didn't turn. That was the worst part. Blaine didn't even get to look into his eyes one last time.

"I'm sorry Blaine, but I don't love you."

The words as they came from Kurt were wet with tears, broken and devastated. But the words as they impacted Blaine were ice cold, hard and piercing as they stole his breath.

Then Kurt was gone.

Gone.

And Blaine broke.

TBC

Author Notes: Heh... yeah... so before you all completely flip, please remember that at the moment you are seeing the world through Blaine's eyes. This chapter was really hard to write, but unfortunately necessary as the story moves forwards. Stay strong! And on a brighter note - thank you all so much! Your lovely support meant that last chapter pushed this story over the 200 review mark, which is the most I've ever had for a story, so love and hugs to you all your support means so much! Until next time! xxx


	23. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

"Here we are."

"Oh, doesn't it look lovely? So, peaceful. Charming. Don't you think, Blaine?"

Blaine raised his eyes to peer out the car window. The wheels crunched slowly up a long gravel drive as an imposing, old building loomed into view. A sign stood elegantly in the foreground, and just reading the words made Blaine feel sick.

_**Dalton Academy: Sensory Refuge for Boys**_

He had finally ended up in the last place he ever wanted to be.

And the absolute worst thing was that he had asked to be enrolled.

"_Blaine! Blaine, buddy, please, open this door!"_

_Blaine could hear Cooper shouting through his bedroom door. He could hear Molly yowling and crying through the wood, as she had been for the past hour, since Blaine had run upstairs and slammed the door behind him._

_The world didn't make sense. Nothing made sense, and everything hurt, so, so much. He couldn't focus on anything. He vaguely remembered shoving his chest of drawers in front of the door before collapsing to the floor._

_Hide. Hide and it never happened. Stay here, stay safe, exist._

_He couldn't stop crying. Crying so hard he felt that his sobs were tearing his lungs and throat to bloody shreds. Detachedly, he wanted to stop. His face was hot, and it was getting hard to breathe, and he knew he was scaring Cooper. But he couldn't, because if he stopped then the moment broke and everything Kurt said would be in the past and far too real. It would have happened._

_He needed to exist in limbo. Just a little while longer._

In the end, Cooper had actually climbed around the outside of the house from their parents' bedroom, using the little porch roof to gain a footing. He had been forced to smash Blaine's window to get to him.

Blaine could remember the thud of Cooper's knees as they hit the carpet. He could remember scrambling away from his brother, desperate not to be touched.

He hadn't let anyone near him since – except Molly, but she didn't count. Not even the doctors. He would just scream until they stepped back again.

There wasn't any logic to it, Blaine knew that. But he couldn't explain it. The deep, wrenching knowledge that he would never be able to do something as simple as hold Kurt's hand was just too much. The mere idea of another person touching him, their emotions invading, clawing, _burning_ through him in a way that Kurt's never had… it was terrifying. Because this time, if something happened, Blaine would never have Kurt to pull him back to shore.

Because Kurt was gone.

"_I want to go to Dalton."_

The only words he had spoken since Kurt had left. He had thought about it, he was clear on it. He had tried to be normal, he had tried to be a teenager, and he had tried to love. Look at him now.

Dalton had always been inevitable. In the deepest recesses of Blaine's soul, he had always known that. But Kurt had shined so brightly that somehow Blaine had been able to forget. He had been able to risk dreaming of a future beyond high school. Of a life beyond his immediate family. Of _living_, rather than just watching everyone else live from the other side of a window pane.

His parents hadn't fought his request, and his doctors definitely hadn't. Only Cooper had voiced his repeated objections. So, following Dr Monroe's suggestion, Blaine was to enter Dalton on a month trial basis. Unlike normal schools, Dalton offered board all-year round, for cases exactly like Blaine.

It was advertised as a haven.

Blaine wasn't naïve as to see it as anything other than the beginning of the end.

The Academy housed boys aged 14-22, with a sister school across the road offering the same for girls. Apparently gender separation helped stability, or some other crap like that. If you were lucky enough to be lower down the scale, you were only required to board weekly, but if you were like Blaine it was all or nothing. To maintain regularity and prevent upsetting change, _obviously_.

More like the best way to hide the freaks from society. But who was Blaine to argue. He agreed to this, remember? What was the point of fighting?

He didn't bother answering his parents' attempt at lightening the mood. Cooper sullenly sat next to Blaine; he wouldn't stop staring at his baby brother, like he didn't know who he was looking at. Like Blaine was already dead.

Maybe he was. Who knew anymore?

Blaine noticed a stray grey hair on his pant leg, stark against the fabric. He picked at it sadly. Molly had started shedding fur all over the house in the days leading up to Blaine's departure. The vet said it was stress, Blaine knew it was because of him. Molly _knew_. She didn't want him to go, she wanted to come with him, but there were no pets allowed, not even for long term residents.

Blaine couldn't even visit her. The trial month meant no leaving the campus in order to 'settle in', and after that if he did stay on he would have to get a prior two week's approval for off-campus visits even to home, subject to the doctors' discretion.

All for his own good, of course.

They had stopped, and the car door was already open, Cooper had taken the bags out of the car for an orderly to take to Blaine's new room, and his parents were staring at him expectantly. A man and woman stood with them, dressed in neat, simple clothes. Not quite scrubs, because this wasn't quite a hospital. Everyone was staring at him. He thought he should probably oblige them.

The woman stepped forwards as he got out of the car. She didn't offer her hand. "Hello Blaine, my name is Dr Hargreaves. I'm Dalton's headmistress. We're very happy to have you stay with us." She smiled, too chipper. Blaine just blinked impassively back at her. Like Dr Monroe, she had been sense trained, but unlike his childhood doctor, he couldn't even get a flicker of truth from her. She was a dead space of false emotions, and the idea of her coming in contact with his skin made Blaine want to scream all over again. In contrast, the man was older, and more honest somehow… he reminded Blaine of Kurt in how his soft emotions brushed lightly at the tips of Blaine's senses, but then he felt sick again, and tried to push that connection far out of his mind. "And this is Mr Edwards. He is one of our counsellors here at Dalton and who you should come to if you have any problems your sense buddy can't solve."

Blaine blinked in blank confusion before a cold dread seeped in. He had forgotten. Part of being a long term resident meant that he would be paired with another boy – hopefully close in age but that wasn't guaranteed. These boys, or 'sense buddies' as they were so charmingly called, were young men who showed exceptional aptitude in the field of sense manipulation. Dalton offered an elite honours program for promising students from all over the country who wanted to enter a career in the sense fields of medicine.

Blaine was going to be given over to one of these enthusiastic mini doctors, who probably were projecting all over the place, as a way of furthering their education. All under the guise of offering Blaine some sort of support system. Except no one seemed to understand that Kurt had been Blaine's support system! Instead, Blaine was going to be stuck with sharing a room suite with a complete stranger who, knowing his luck, would also be homophobic.

He trailed after the adults as they were given the grand tour, but didn't really bother listening. He was too distracted. It was so _quiet._ They were walking past classrooms and dorms and… nothing. Silence.

Blaine wanted to throw up.

Cooper voiced the begging question, but Blaine had already worked it out, "Hey, sorry, but I can't sense anything? Or anyone?"

"Oh yes," Dr Hargreaves nodded primly, "All our walls have been lead lined, just like most of the ES emergency wards you see in hospitals today. It helps give our students a sense of privacy in their own minds, and stops the… older ones from upsetting any of the younger."

Blaine's skin crawled. Most hospitals have lead lined ES wards because they were newly built extensions. This building was old. Older than any fancy new hospital wards, older than the thought revolution of the 1960s, when people began to think that they might be able to actually help people like him…

He started seeing all the little rooms, the narrow corridors, and too-few windows in a whole new light.

Even if he had been inclined to talk, Blaine wouldn't ask what Dalton had been before it became a school. And from the look on Cooper's face, it looked like he couldn't stomach asking that question either.

Their parents were steadfastly trying to hold a united front as the tour went on, but it was clear from the snatches of emotion Blaine gleaned that they were desperately trying not to have second thoughts. Even his mom, who had always been so in favour of the idea, was looking ready to bolt and take him with her. But she wouldn't, because she thought that in the end this was the best for him. And his dad wouldn't, because Blaine has asked to be here.

Cooper wouldn't because he had no power to stop anyone from putting Blaine back again. But he definitely looked the closest.

"And this is your room. Your sense buddy is in his induction class at the moment; he arrived yesterday. You'll be pleased to know that this will not be his first time interning with us, and that now he has graduated high school he will be staying on at Dalton for our one year preparatory program before he heads to college. Of course, if you have any issues or qualms, just talk to Mr Edwards here and we can easily get you a new buddy."

Blaine's dad pushed open the door to his son's new dorm room. It was large, and spacious. Unlike the classrooms, the dorms were set in a different building. It was still elegant and old, but there was less lead to muddy senses. Two bedrooms adjoined each other, and shared a bathroom in between. The other room was clearly moved into, but Blaine's was sparse and waiting to be filled.

"Well, we'll leave you to unpack and get settled Blaine. I'm afraid this is also where we must ask family to say goodbye. We find it's good in these instances to make a clean cut, and give the student time to settle into their own thoughts."

Blaine's back prickled at the way the woman suddenly switched to talking about him like he wasn't even there. It was like he was just some subject to be studied under a microscope, a creature of habit and expected behavioural patterns.

"Oh. Oh, yes, of course." His mom nodded, her eyes misting as he stepped forwards to hug him tightly, only to have Blaine step out of her reach. She cleared her throat, a crackle of hurt sparking orange against his senses. "You'll do wonderfully here, Blaine, I know you will. I'm so proud of you."

Blaine felt his chest tighten, but he refused to react. He was too aware of the teachers watching him from the corner of the room.

Cooper was next, "I'll make sure dogfood is okay while you're gone." Blaine couldn't help the tiniest quirk of a smile at his big brother's attempt to draw him out, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay? And we'll see you in a month."

Cooper was determined not to allow Blaine to think of this Dalton stint as anything more than a trial. While he appreciated the sentiment, Blaine wished he wouldn't. It only kept them hoping, and he knew now how pointless that was.

Finally, his dad sighed, fingers twitching as if he wanted to hug his son, but knew what would happen if he tried. "Blaine, are you really sure about this?" Blaine nodded, his stomach in knots. What other choice did he have? Surely his dad could understand that this was literally the only option left to him? "No, I need to hear you say it."

Blaine's shoulders drooped, but he found himself giving in all the same, tongue sticky in his mouth as he whispered, "I'm sure Dad."

"Okay then." His dad sounded so resigned. "We love you Blaine, remember. And we'll give you a call as soon as we get home."

"Actually," Dr Hargreaves put in, "I'm afraid there is a no phone policy for new students, for the first 72 hours of stay. And then for the first two weeks it is only incoming calls. After that our students are allowed to use the phone at set times, to a pre-approved list of number laid out by you and Blaine's doctors. This is all explained in the parent handbook, which we can go over before you leave today. It helps the new students settle in to their new environment."

Cooper looked ready to punch something, but their parents just seemed to deflate, nodding as they bid a final goodbye to their son for the next month.

And then Blaine was alone. He supposed he should unpack, but the idea of doing anything proactive just seemed so insurmountable right now. He wanted to sleep. Sleeping was better than crying.

He sat down on the bed, kicking off his shoes as he drew his legs up and lay down on his side. It didn't work. He couldn't even close his eyes. Instead, he just had to content himself with staring at his new room. He just couldn't shut his brain off. Was this even a good idea? What was he _doing?_

_Running away. Giving up. Coward._

A rumble in the hall outside gave Blaine some indication that he had been lying down for longer than he thought. A bang next door made him sit up; the teachers hadn't shut the joining door when they had been showing Blaine's parents the room arrangement, and as he peered around the frame he could still see into the second bedroom.

His buddy had arrived.

The recently graduated high school senior was not who Blaine was expecting… although as he later reasoned, he didn't really know what a sense buddy should look like in the first place.

"Hello. You must be Blaine." The other boy had noticed him, a kind smile rising to his lips as he turned to the direction of Blaine's room. To Blaine's surprised confusion, he stopped just at the edge of his own bedroom, under the doorframe. "May I come in?"

Blaine nodded dumbly. He had expected his sense buddy to be one horrible sparkly bundle of glitter and false enthusiasm, like some twisted parody of a summer camp instructor, all wrapped up in a headache-inducing parcel. But he wasn't. Blaine felt that, if just for that pleasant surprise, the boy deserved some kind of verbal recognition, "Hi…"

The grin the other boy produced at Blaine's voice was bright, but not in a patronising way. He didn't offer his hand as he introduced himself, but there was an overall sense of welcoming that made Blaine feel just that tiny bit better, "My name's Wesley Montgomery, but you can call me Wes if you like. Welcome to Dalton, Blaine."

TBC

Author Notes: Surprise! I hope Dalton wasn't too much of a shock for everyone :P Thank you all so much for reading! Lots of love! Until next time 3 xxx


	24. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

"Mr Anderson, come back here this instant!"

The shout echoed, following, chasing, bouncing off the lead that invaded the walls and poisoned Blaine's head. He didn't stop.

He kept running, kept running until he reached his room. Chest heaving, head spinning, he looked wildly for some way to lock the door. Of course, there wasn't one. Even if Blaine hadn't pulled that stunt back home and barricaded his family from his bedroom, the only students able to lock their doors from the inside were the sense buddies.

Talking of…

The side door opened, revealing a confused Wesley, "Blaine? I thought you were meant to be with Miss Rosen for another half hour?"

Wes should know; he had escorted Blaine to his first class that morning. After his 72 hour settling period, today had been the start of Blaine's full integration into Dalton life.

It might only be nine thirty in the morning, but Blaine was already writing the day off as a veritable disaster. He couldn't even get through a meet and greet session without screwing up.

There was a banging on Blaine's door, and Wes' frown deepened as Blaine scrambled backwards.

"_Mr Anderson, open this door! I won't ask you twice." _

Giving Blaine one last look, Wes walked forwards and opened the door himself, "Hi Miss Rosen. Is everything okay?"

The woman in the doorway folded her arms, and Blaine found himself mirroring her posture, defensively taking a further step back towards his bed.

"Ah. Wesley, isn't it? Do you think you could give me and Blaine a moment?"

Blaine's shoulders slumped, stomach squirming. But then-

"I'm sorry, Miss Rosen, but that would be against Dalton policy. As I'm sure you're well aware, student rooms are designated as private to faculty staff unless the student in question poses a serious threat to themselves or others. In addition, any student must be accompanied by their sense buddy at all times when a member of the faculty wishes to address a student in their private space. If you have a problem with Blaine following his session with you, I advise you to go through the proper channels and set up a meeting with Blaine through Mr Edwards."

The teacher gaped at the boy in front of her, eyes flicking every so often over Wes' shoulder to where Blaine stood. "Mr Montgomery-"

"Miss Rosen. Your jurisdiction in the Dalton faculty does not cover sense buddies. I have already explained to you the proper protocol. If that is not how things were done at Grangeford, I apologise, but this is Dalton."

The woman's face was running through an impressive array of colours, ranging from milky white to seared red. Blaine could only stand there, amazed, as a boy he had only met three days ago was standing up to a teacher on his behalf.

Finally, she huffed, her brow knitted together above her too-small eyes as she regarded Blaine coolly. "Very well. I will be taking this up with Mr Edwards." Her eyes narrowed as they flicked back to Wesley. "_And_ Dr Hargreaves."

"I look forward to it." Wesley chirped, before slamming the door in the teacher's face.

Blaine stared, wide eyed, "W-what did you just _do?_"

Wesley shrugged, "I followed Dalton protocol. Miss Rosen is new – a recent transfer from another, smaller sense refuge in Florida designed for older patients. She only transferred here a month ago from what I've heard, and she's clearly not used to dealing with teenagers yet."

"But she said she'd tell Dr Hargreaves!" Blaine blurted out. He had only met the woman a handful of times since he arrived, but she made him nervous every time. He felt like he was some bacteria in a Petri dish, waiting to be analysed.

"About my behaviour." Wesley agreed calmly.

Blaine shook his head, hands gesturing wildly. He couldn't quite vocalise how much he didn't want Wesley to get into trouble. Because if he did, they might make him go away, and right now he was the only person who Blaine felt might actually be on his side. Right now Blaine was floating, drifting, all his anchors cut loose; his family, his cat, his friends, his boyfr- Kurt. Wes was the only person left. "But you can't just. She'll tell them! She'll-"

Blaine felt his chest tightening, his palms growing clammy as he clawed at the front of his shirt, panic welling up from where it had been sitting, lurking since he had arrived at Dalton.

"Hey." Blaine blinked and suddenly Wesley was a lot closer, his head tilted slightly to one side as he looked at Blaine. _Warmth._ _Calm. Reassurance._ "Do you want to be alone, or would you like to talk about what happened this morning after I left?"

Blaine swallowed harshly, his mouth too dry. Now that he was back in his room with only Wes for company, he felt slightly better. Silently, biting his lip, he found himself nodding. Since he had arrived Blaine had maintained his silence, with everyone except Wes. The older boy seemed to exude trust and safety, the same way Sam usually glowed with happiness, and Kurt shone with strength. He found himself sitting. Wesley took his cue, and pulled a chair so that he could sit opposite; close, but not touching, never touching. It was one of the first things Blaine had noticed about Wes, his ability to respect Blaine's personal space without the need for request or comment. It was just instinct for him.

"I couldn't do what she wanted me to do." Blaine mumbled. _Failure. Idiot. Freak._

Wes frowned, picking up on some of Blaine's unconscious projections, "It's your first day of class, Blaine. No one expects you to fall into things like you've been here for years. Besides, Dalton is here for _you_, not the other way around. There is no wrong or right, there's only what you feel able to do."

Blaine snorted, "Yeah? Because from where I'm sitting it looks like I'm the biggest freak in this place! And now everyone knows it!"

"What do you mean?" The soft timbre of reassurance continued, but inside were jarring bars of repetition, misplaced notes of disquiet.

"First she wanted me to introduce myself to the group, but I _couldn't_. My head wouldn't stop hurting and there were so many different people I couldn't sort them out in my head. So when I didn't do anything she said all I needed to do was shake the other boy's hand. I tried, I _did_. I really did but-"

"Wait, stop." Wes held up a hand, the jarring notes of his discordant emotions rising in a crescendo that Blaine found oddly comforting. The other boy was so precise in his conduction of his emotions that often Blaine felt like he was the sole audience member of some masterpiece orchestral production. He never projected, but equally, he was anything but the blank, too-silent monotony of most sense doctors Blaine knew. "You're saying that Miss Rosen had you in a _group_ session? With other students?"

Blaine blinked, "Yes?"

Wes pinched the bridge of his nose, "Of course she did."

"I thought…" Blaine trailed off. He wasn't sure what he had thought. This whole process was so strange and overwhelming that often he felt like he was being pushed and pulled in multiple directions.

"It's not your fault." Wes was quick to pull back from his brief _forte _of anger_, _replacing it with a lulling _pianissimo _of calm. "It's hers. Group sessions should only be introduced into schedules after three weeks, and then for two weeks after that the student's sense buddy should be present. As far as I was concerned you were just going for a chat with her."

"Oh." Blaine felt small and stupid; so, so out of control. He wanted to cry. Was this how his life was going to be? Was this it?

"I'll bring this all up with Mr Edwards. I promise. And I'll request a class transfer to one of the other teachers. There's no way you should go back to her after this morning; instinctually, your senses will just rebel and confuse you."

"How do you know?" So often, Wes talked like Blaine's childhood sense doctor, Dr Monroe. Sometimes Blaine forgot the other boy had only just graduated high school.

Wes shrugged, "I saw it happen once." For a moment, he really looked his age, shy and slightly guilty. "I don't… sometimes I don't follow what the sense teachers tell us. Sometimes I just think it's wrong and so I do something else. Or try to. I _told_ my friend to request a transfer for his student. He thought I was overreacting. The student had a grade six episode a week later, and was removed to an intensive care unit out of Dalton."

"Sometimes you just know…" Blaine murmured quietly, looking at his sense buddy in a whole new light.

"We're not carbon copies, or statistics in a book. I learnt a long time ago to trust my instincts when it comes to other people. I want you to know that, Blaine. I'm here to help you, not to get some qualification. You're not a means to an end, or a stepping stone towards my future. Okay?"

"Thank you." Blaine tried to compress as much sincerity and gratefulness into those two words as physically possible.

* * *

Blaine sat up in bed, listening intently as he squinted into the inky blackness, eyes trying to adjust.

Maybe he had imagined it…

"_Ow! Jeff that was my foot!"_

Or not.

"_Well it's not my fault you have such abnormally large feet!"_

"_Will you two shut up and keep an eye out? If Hargreaves catches us we're as good as dead."_

"_I still don't get why this is a four man operation."_

"_Maybe he just wanted to take all of us down with him when we're caught."_

"_Sucks to be you then."_

"_Yeah? Well good luck finding another sense buddy who can tolerate you on a day to day basis."_

"_Feeling the love, Nick. Seriously. You need to work on your bedside manner."_

"_Guys! Shut it!"_

Blaine scrambled out of bed, padding to his door and creaking it open, jumping backwards only just in time to avoid being squashed by a tumble of two boys who had previously been pressed against his door.

"Umm… hi?"

The dark haired boy untangled himself from the blond. In the emergency night-lighting spilling in from the hall, Blaine recognised them as a student and buddy pair the same age as him. The blond, Jeff, was in most of his classes, although nowhere near as high up the scale as Blaine was.

"You two are seriously the _worst _lookouts in the history of Dalton." Wes stood in the doorway carrying a battered cardboard box, accompanied by the owner of the third voice, a tall black boy named David. He was also a sense buddy, but to a much younger student. He was also best friends with Wes, which probably explained why he was there as well.

Although, why the four boys were sneaking around outside Blaine's room _at all_ at two in the morning was another question entirely.

"Shift. Both of you." Wes kicked Nick lightly, shutting the door behind him, plunging them all into darkness until David flicked on a flashlight.

Blaine stared incredulously at his sense buddy, "Wes, what on _earth_ is going on?"

It was at that moment that the contents of Wes' arms made itself known, shaking so hard the boy was forced to put it down before he dropped it.

A disgruntled hiss, followed by a series of plaintive meows, and Blaine was on his knees in an instant, ripping open the lid of the box. He stared in disbelief. "Molly?"

It was definitely his cat. Her fur had lost some of its shine, but the attitude was definitely still there. He scooped her up into his arms, trying to ignore how thin she was _– no more than you since you got here – _"I know you've been missing her since you arrived. And the way you talk about her…"

"We all helped Wes look into it. About the influence of animals on the highly Sensitive. Dalton might say she's not allowed but…" David trailed off, grinning, "Wes isn't allergic, so no harm in hiding her here, right?"

Blaine was speechless, flooded with the warmth of holding Molly, a strangely familiar comfort spreading into his bones that wasn't quite all from the cat.

Wes knelt next to Blaine. "You've been here nearly three weeks now, and it's clear that you're not going to fit into any of the teachers' neat little boxes. But protocol is protocol, and while this school is a great place, it's not perfect. Nothing is."

"Sometimes it can seriously suck being here." Jeff put in. He was standing the furthest back of the boys, careful to put as much space between him and Blaine as possible, for both their peace of minds. "So we figured, why not try and make it suck a little less?"

Blaine just nodded, biting his lip as he buried his face in Molly's fur, trying not to let them see how watery his eyes had become over their gesture.

Taking the unspoken gratefulness, the other boys saw their cue to leave. Before they left, Nick offered, "Sit with us at lunch sometime, yeah? Or if it's too much, we can come to you. Wes must get pretty dull in heavy doses."

Blaine just nodded, and then he was alone with his cat. Wes had gotten up, and begun to feel his way back to his adjoining door in the semi-darkness, obviously intent on giving Blaine some privacy.

Blaine had other ideas. He clicked on his desk lamp. Molly wandered off to inspect the room, keeping one eye on her human, tail flicking contentedly. "How did you get her? My parents are going to know she's gone, and they'll call the school to check here. You'll get into trouble."

Wes sighed. "No. I won't."

Blaine frowned, "Coop..?"

Wes seemed to deliberate for a moment, before moving back towards Blaine, hands in his pockets. "No. Well, yes, I started with him, but no. Molly hasn't been living at your house for nearly two weeks now. It's why Edwards and Rosen searched our rooms the other week. That wasn't a random search. According to your brother, your parents have been trying to work out how to tell you she's missing for a while now, but the doctors are worried how badly that would destabilise you, so they've told them to hold off. At least until it's decided if you're staying here past your month trial."

Blaine frowned, "Coop would have told me if something had happened to Molly. He promised."

"He knew nothing had happened to her." Wes said softly, his emotions carefully placed, like the resonating vibrations of a cello string.

"Well then what…?"

"She's been living with Kurt."

Every muscle in Blaine's body froze. Oddly, the first thing that somehow made it out of Blaine's mouth was, "But I've never even _told_ you about Kurt!"

"No, you haven't." Wes agreed. "But if you'd like to, I'd be happy to listen."

"You've met him."

It wasn't a question, but Wesley answered it anyway, "Yes, I have."

Blaine swallowed, angrily swiping at the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes, "How… how is he?"

"Honestly?" Blaine nodded. "Well, we only talked for a little, but frankly I'd say he's doing about as well as you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Blaine choked.

A _diminuendo_ of exasperation to comfort, "It means I think you shouldn't be giving up on yourself. Or him."

"W-wh-" Blaine cleared his throat, frustrated by how weak his voice sounded. "What if he already has?"

Wes smiled fondly at his friend, "Now that I don't believe for one moment."

TBC

Author Notes: Sorry for the slight delay guys! I loved reading your comments for the last chapter (I will say that Sebastian was a candidate for Blaine's sense buddy, but lucky for Blaine I decided to take the story in a different direction!) Hope you liked this chapter, and don't worry, we'll be getting back to Kurt very soon! xxx


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